The official countdown is on! It’s just three days to the real, actual release of Suite Scarlett . . . and that means three days until the BIG CONTEST with the FABULOUS PRIZE.
Many of you who have read the book already have written in to express a certain . . . affection . . . for Spencer Martin. In fact, he has gotten a RECORD number of marriage proposals. I have been keeping this information from him. If he knew how many people wanted to date and/or marry him, he would be impossible to control, and I need to bend him to my will as I write the second book.
Of course, I’m not just writing the second Scarlett book. I’m also writing this blog! It seems that many of you also blog, or would like to start! And some of you have written asking for advice on this topic.
I am, of course, happy to oblige.
Blogging is extremely hard work, and only very competent people can do it. However, if you get good at it, you will become rich beyond your wildest dreams, and you will probably get some kind of title. But in order to become a Successful Blogger, you have to learn a few basic rules. Master these, and the blogoverse is yours.
1. BE TIMELY
Yesterday’s news is so last week! Blogs are about now. NOW, NOW, NOW! Blogs are the vanguard! Every scientific, political, and social development on the planet is charted on a blog. Everything else is out of date. Burn your books! Throw your newspapers out the window!
In order to be a Successful Blogger, you had better know what is about to happen. And the only way you are going to find out is by hobnobbing with rich and famous people. This is what I do, day and night. I try to cover it up by suggesting that I just sit around in my house in mismatched clothes, getting food all over myself as I try to eat and type because I am chasing a deadline. This is all subterfuge and deception.
Right now, for instance, I am in a hottub with former head of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greenspan and his best friend, Posh Spice (who keeps bobbing up to the surface--it's like trying to keep a GOLF BALL underwater with her!). This is what I mean. I am right in the heart of it all. Also, it is very dangerous. I should not be typing while in water like this.
Hobnobbing is the goblin of consistent blogging. Or something like that.
Don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow? Make it up! Just be careful about Rule #2 . . .
2. CHECK YOUR FACTS
You want to be on the Internet? Well, you had better do your research. Nothing is permitted online unless it has been proven to be a 100% true fact. Blogs are regularly patrolled by the blog police, a crack team of experts on absolutely everything, and they read every single sentence of every single blog in the entire blogverse. It you mess up one time, they might let you off easy, maybe just erasing your hard drive or sticking gum in your USB ports. But if they see that you make wrongness a habit, they will come to your house and make you watch hours and hours and hours and hours of Youtube videos like this one.
3. WRITE SHORT POSTS
People don’t read long blog posts, which is why mine are never more than three sentences long. People go to sleep if you write more than that.
One sentence too many, and the readers will slip into a coma.
People look to bloggers to give them new words, so by no means should you talk like a normal person on your blog. If you want people to take you seriously, be pompous and confusing—otherwise readers will assume you have no idea what you are talking about. This is why I always refer to my books as “algorithms of worditude.” This phrase has made me exceptionally popular among alphabots and biblionobes all around the Textosphere.
You may have to make up some words.
6. BE REGULAR
People don’t like to wait for blog updates! This is why I post EVERY SINGLE DAY without failure. Nothing stops me. I’m like the post office—neither snow nor rain nor or famine or grizzly bears stays this blogger from the timely posting of the posts. I think you will find, looking back at my archive, at completely unbroken sequence of posts dating back to 1992. You should be the same way.
In fact, every day you don’t blog, an Apple Store Genius is fed to a crocodile. No pressure.
The croc tank at the 5th Avenue Apple store, New York City.
7. SPEND ALL YOUR TIME ONLINE
What? What are you saying? You want sleep? You want food? You want to go out in the sunshine? You want to see your friends? Well, you will never make it in the dog-eat-keyboard world of blogging. You need to know what is going on on ALL BLOGS, ALL THE TIME. If you miss even one hour of one day, everything will change and you will never be able to catch up. You will be laughed off the Internet!
Real bloggers DIE at the keyboard.
Never unplug. Never.
8. BE USEFUL
It is a well-known fact that blogs provide the best advice in the world, and you can learn how to do everything by reading them. In fact, just ONE WEEK of reading nothing but blogs is better than going to Harvard for a year.
If you want to have a successful blog, you have to show people how to do things! In my blog, for instance, I give up-to-date, factual information on how to write books, how to be a writer, and how to write blogs. Now that I have explained these things, they don’t ever have to be explained again, so you will have to write something else.
Blogs are the most effective learning tool out there.
There you have it. The eight rules you need. I hope they were helpful.
And no, I did not forget that I had a Suite Scarlett to give away! Today’s RANDOM COMMENT WINNER is Cei Cei. Cei Cei . . . send in your address!
You could be THE NEXT RANDOM WINNER! Every comment is an entry!
If you can’t wait or don’t want to take the chance . . . go out into the world today and DEMAND a Suite Scarlett from your local algorithm of worditude emporium.
Okay, seriously. I don’t ever want to pack my suitcase again. I know some people like a vagabond life on the road, riding the rails and sleeping rough and eating stew out of a can . . . but I am done for now. I have bounced from London to Bologna to DAPHNE’S WEDDING, to Texas, to Philadelphia for the election . . . and now I want to stay in the New York office for a little while and update my blog and eat snacks.
Me at the Texas Library Association Conference last week with fellow speaker Libba Bray and newfound friend "Scratchy Jack."
In fact, I just bought these little mint chocolate Tofuti Cutie ice cream sandwiches tonight. I love mint chocolate Tofuti Cuties, but I rarely buy them. It took me a while to get them home, and they really should have gone in the freezer for a while, but I really, really wanted one. And you know that way you can sometimes eat when no one is watching and you have something you really, really want . . . even if that something is a Tofuti Cutie ice cream sandwich that has long passed the solid stage. I am, on the whole, fairly decorous . . . but I abandoned all that and ripped one of those soggy things out of the box and now I have mint chocolate Tofuti Cutie on every single part of my body, including my knee.
So I am not at my best tonight. But I want to get back on the blog train. There are many things to tell you! Daphne’s wedding! Adventures in the Democratic process! Other stuff! Like . . . the real release of Suite Scarlett and all the stuff that comes with it! I have days and days of blog in me—and I am BACK. So I will start tonight and KEEP THE BALL ROLLING!
I should, however, give out some stuff first and foremost. And at the end of this, I will give out more stuff. I was slightly overwhelmed by the number of people who want Scarletts. I looked over at my pile and said, “Erp.” But I will do all I can to distribute what I have, and the books should be IN ALL STORES within the week.
But! PRIZES!
The ten sleep masks are going to:
Reader Rabbit Kelly-Kathleen Katie Larisa Lightforms Jenn H Emily JK Caillie . . . and one anonymous person who left a question about the dining room in the hotel, which I cannot really answer here without giving too much info away.
And the randomly chosen winner of a signed copy is NINA, who wrote about herself in the third person.
Please e-mail me your names and addresses so that I can send your prizes at once!
Now, when you get behind on your blog because you have been in a near-constant state of transit for weeks, you also get behind on your e-mail. So when I sat here tonight reading through some of your precious letters, I discovered MANY GEMS. Including this one, which I though you guys would like, from a guy named Charlie.
(Not charlieissocool—though I have spoken to that Charlie as well. When I was in England a few weeks ago, minding my own business and settling down in front of the television with tea and biscuit to watch a little mindless programming about people buying houses, which is 90% of all British television . . . Charlie’s head popped on to the screen and started talking. His head was HUGE. Turns out, Charlie is in a commercial for BBC3. But I wasn’t expecting to see him. It startled me. Tea went in the air. Biscuit rolled under the sofa. I recovered, got a new cup of tea and biscuit, sat back down, and then . . . MY FRIEND GRACE DANGEROUS APPEARED ON TV. It was her old commercial, back again. Scene was repeated with tea and biscuit, and I was left wondering why I knew so many people in England who wound up on television. Is EVERYONE in England on television? Also, you probably think I have serious problems with food now, and I am starting to think you are right. I wrote to Charlie and reported this incident, and he advised me to hold my tea with both hands.)
Anyway, not that Charlie. Different Charlie. This is the note Charlie sent to me several weeks ago:
I recently found out that the favorite book of this girl who I am starting to date was something called "Thirteen Little Blue Envelopes." I was going to ask her to prom and wanted to ask her in a unique and creative way. I wanted to get to know her better, so I went out and bought your book. After reading the book, I came up with the perfect plan. I would create my own "Thirteen Little Blue Envelopes" and give them to her. I tried to follow what you did in the book, but I put my own spin on it. On each envelope, I put a direction as to when she needs to open that envelope. Inside each envelope is a special message to her or a date I have set up for the two of us. Dates ranging from going on walk on the beach, going to the zoo, or going to the theater. On the second envelope I put "Open Only When Told." So I sent her a dozen roses and in the card that came with the flowers, it said to open up that envelope. In that letter I told her how I felt about her and asked her to prom. She of course loved everything and said yes. I gave her my copy of your book with the envelopes and now the book is being passed from junior to junior at my high school. So thanks to your writing, I was able to ask her to the prom in a spectacular way and do something for her that she probably will never forget. She's keeping all of her friends updated on when she opens up each letter. She was ecstatic about everything!
What was that little pitter-patter in my chest? That was my heart growing EIGHT SIZES IN ONE DAY. How was this possible? How could I—notoriously the least romantic person in the tri-state area—inspire such an act of romantic wonderment?
I asked Charlie for more details, and he just sent me this excellent photo of he and his girlfriend at the prom. What an ad! I could have a whole career in setting up love matches! I could be the eharmony of YA!
READ MY BOOKS: GET RESULTS!
I’ve exhausted myself now. I need another Tofuti Cutie. Those things are small. I will be back in a MUCH MORE TIMELY FASHION with all kinds of important news . . . including THE BIG CONTEST ANNOUCEMENT!
To enter to win today’s signed copy of Suite Scarlett, simply leave a comment like last time. All comments welcome! Is there something you feel I must report on now that I am back on the blogging wagon? Something you need me to know? Do YOU need my now-famous LOVE ADVICE? Whatever! Just leave a comment, and one will be picked COMPLETELY AT RANDOM.
I've just returned from Texas, literally. Thank you to all who expressed concern about my pretzel poisoning. I seem to have come out of it okay. I slept off the unpleasant aftertaste, had many wonderful encounters with librarians and other authors, ate a lot of delicious nachos, and got home in one piece!
Now . . . it' time for ASK MJ!
DEPARTMENT OF NO
anonymous said... Would you ever try sky-diving? What do you think about that?
Hold on. I have my list of “Things I Won’t Do” right here. Let me have a look . . .
#14 Jam hand into beehive. #15 Check out the source of "that weird noise" if accidentally stuck in horror movie. #16 Ask Naomi Campbell if I can borrow her phone.
Ah. Here it is. Number seventeen. Skydive.
Listen, I don't want to offend anyone here . . . but I have to wonder about anyone who tosses him or herself out of a doorway at 20,000 feet. I mean, you do see the flaw in that logic, right? Have you asked yourself, "What would Darwin do?"
It took us hundreds of years to solve the problem of flight. Flight is awesome! We have snacks and movies and everything! The only trick is STAYING ON THE PLANE. That's it! We didn't go to all the trouble of defying physics just so people could throw themselves out the door.
Some people will undoubtedly say, "But the adrenaline rush!" That adrenaline rush is there to KEEP us from killing ourselves. The adrenaline helps you run from the fire or the polar bear or the shark on a Segway or whatever is after you. I personally don't need this kind of buzz. I get enough excitement. I have JK busting into my house every other day.
anonymous said... Hey, my question is: Are you actually gonna answer ALL of these questions above?
Um . . .
DEPARTMENT OF ABBA
anonymous said... What would you say is your favorite ABBA song, at this moment at least? Cause I can never decide which one I like the best, and since you are an expert on all things ABBA I was hoping you might help me decide.
This question reminded me to check on my Abba museum countdown meter. Only 412 days to go until the BEST MUSEUM IN THE WORLD opens. I almost fainted when I read about the opening week activities. Just look at this!
Friday June 5, 2009 International ABBA Tribute Band Day. ABBA tribute bands from all over the world perform.
Saturday June 6, 2009 Sweden’s National Day – ABBA Style.
Sunday June 7, 2009 ABBA-rocks! Closing party with the next generation ABBA. Fireworks extravaganza.
OH. MY. GOD. An “Abba style” Sweden Day? An Abba party with fireworks? A whole day of Abba tribute bands? Who lives in Stockholm? Who wants to go with me?
What was the question again? I’m so woozy.
aella siofra said... Do you think Abba actually chose their own outfits? or were they merely the victims of a horrible conspiracy?
I don't understand this question. You seem to imply that there is something wrong with their outfits. All of the Abba outfits were carefully designed, and many will be at the museum!
Am I missing something? Is there a problem here?
ally said... Why do I always do well on Pre-AP American History test where the multiple choice always have ABBA in them?
ABBA always helps in times of crisis. And DID YOU KNOW that Frieda (the dark haired one) is a princess? Her full name and title is Her Serene Highness Princess Anni-Frid Reuss, Countess of Plauen.
DEPARTMENT OF FOOD
danica/diamond d said... Would you ever write a book based on the movie Footloose? Are you looking forward to the remake (with Zac Efron)?
Famous hamster-eater Zac Efron is going to star in a remake of Footloose? Why didn’t anyone tell me? What is THAT craft services table going to be like?
The Footloose Burger
crypt said... I have a question: What should I have for lunch? I don't have any bread, I do have burgers and fishfingers, but my grill doesn't work. I also have chocolate spread, mustard and eggs
Your choices seem limited to the last three items. I strongly support both the chocolate spread and mustard, but cannot get behind the eggs. I don’t like eggs. I wish I did, really . . . but I’ve never been able to eat them. Even the smell makes me hopelessly ill. Which is why I’m really wondering what joker added “I like eggs” to the list of my book titles on Wikipedia.
About your lunch . . . while I am perfectly content to eat mustard or chocolate spread right out of the jar, most people are not. And I’d offer you some of these cool chocolate cowboys that some Texas librarians gave me . . . but I got hungry when I got home and smashed them with a bowl and ate their heads.
ohholyhorcrux said... What are your feelings on hummus?
Basically, hummus is to me what hamsters are to Zac.
DEPARTMENT OF READING MATERIALS
itokro said... Is Suite Scarlett only out in America? A while ago I tried to find your books in Britain - I visited every bookstore in Cambridge before being told they'd have to order them specially and get them shipped over from the US. And yet yesterday, in Guildford, I saw a copy of 13 Little Blue Envelopes just sitting on the shelf in the bookshop. Does this mean you are published here after all? Or is it just the magical effects of proximity to the London office?
Welcome to the bane of my existence, itokro. Aside from The Bermudez Triangle (of which I think 4 copies were printed), I have no books out in the UK. From what I’ve been told, the UK hates YA and has denied admission to many of us!
So I have NO EXPLAINATION for why there was a 13 Little Blue Envelopes on a shelf in Guildford . . . except that maybe someone in Guildford figured out that I am in Guildford ALL THE TIME, ordered an American copy, and put it there. Guildford is, after all, the location of the “London” office. Maybe Oscar did it. Or JK. Did you see any food wrappers around it?
Until the books are released there, I guess I have to offer my special Reading Service, where I come to your house and read your mj book of choice to you.
Do you require MJ Reader Services?
Caillie said... i loved SUITE SCARLETT! remember me + Spencer= long lasting marrage only to be ended by one of the weasley twins, lol.
Spencer has been getting an awful lot of attention, even in these early days. I predict that he will be giving Keith Dobson a serious run for his money. But I can't let you marry him if you're just going to leave him. He'll get all depressed and he won't work anymore. Don't break my characters, bro.
hannah said... This is a very general question, but I was wondering who writes the blurbs for books?
Blurbs are usually quotes from other authors, but they can be from anyone, really. (Usually someone famous.) Like if Her Serene Highness Princess Anni-Frid Reuss, Countess of Plauen wanted to give me a quote . . . let's stop. I can't even think about that.
MJ my friend is currently extrimly mad @ u because 1 shes is not scarletts 11 2 you didn't answer her "very nice" email so @ school we call you The-auther-that-cannot-be-named and its slightly annoying (sorry shaylaluna if ur reading this) so I suggest u answer that I wasn't allowed to enter thanks to moi mother but I am begging you to sell the free alan rickman shirts also my friend and i are aginst borders because for my b day when you first said it was out(Im using small words cause I have issues spelling)she went to get it and they didn't have please repliy to this :^) karozoluvzu
I am always sorry to hear that I have failed one of you in some way, and I am certainly sorry to hear that I am “the author that cannot be named.” I’m like . . . Voldemort? Really? Let me see what I can do to address the problems.
First, sorry about your friend and Scarlett’s Eleven. This is the problem with running any kind of a contest. I knew it was going to be hard to pick eleven people. And I do my best to answer my e-mail . . . but things sometimes get a little out of control in MJ land. But I read every single one. Every. Single. One.
As for Borders not having the books out on the shelf when you went to get one, I am sorry about that, though I have no control over Borders. Borders is generally very nice when it comes to my books, and I like them a lot. I’ve heard from a few Borders people that they have opened the boxes and that Suite Scarlett is now out on the tables and shelves. So if you go back, it should be there!
I hope that you will now say my name again. I’m all stressed out now.
DEPARTMENT OF CONTESTS
Scholastic has told me that the INCREDIBLY AWESOME CONTEST that I’ve been telling you about for a while is scheduled to kick off on May 1st. I can confirm that the prize includes both NEW YORK CITY and ME. (You don’t get to keep either one . . . just to be clear.)
In the meantime . . . I have STUFF TO GIVE OUT! Starting NOW! In each of the next posts, I’ll be passing out some copies of Suite Scarlett and some awesome, limited edition, super-special SUITE SCARLETT SLEEP MASKS.
Today I am giving out one signed book and ten sleep masks.
TO WIN A SIGNED COPY OF THE BOOK: Leave a comment letting me know you don’t have a copy yet and you’d like one. I’ll draw a winner at random.
TO WIN A SLEEP MASK: Have you read Suite Scarlett? What did you think? Would you share your thoughts with everyone who hasn’t read the book yet? (Without dropping any spoilers, please. Spoilers will get deleted.) The first ten people to leave their mini-reviews in the comments win! (I realize that this means you have to have READ the book. Don’t worry . . . this is the only time that will be a factor!)
As you may have noticed, service around here has been patchy at best for about a week or two. This is because I have bounced between New York, London, Italy, THE WEDDING OF DAPHNE UNFEASIBLE, and now I am in Texas for TLA. If YOU are at TLA, you can see me A LOT tomorrow. Your options:
8:30 AM: The Scholastic Literary Breakfast
11:30-12 noon: HarperCollins booth signing, #1800 2-3:20: The "Taste of TAYSHAS" Panel, room C155/156
FIVE TIMES IN ONE DAY! Even I do not want to see myself that often. I will be reading from Scarlett and giving out some AWESOME SWAG.
I sat down to write a full post tonight, but I think I just poisoned myself on some bad pretzels. I quickly IMed John Green and asked him if bad pretzels could take you down, and he said yes. And John Green is practically a doctor.
I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that pretzels cannot poison you. That's what I thought too! And I am staying in a very nice hotel, where they don't give you poisoned pretzels. But these pretzels have made my mouth go a little numb and they taste faintly of paint, and you know . . . they have this theory that the girls who went crazy and started the Salem Witch Trials through their tales of possession may have been poisoned with ergot, found in tainted grain products.
I have no symptoms yet, aside from an unpleasant taste in my mouth, but the last thing I want to do is end up accusing you of witchcraft and getting you pressed to death under stones. So I will go to bed now, in the hopes that will ward off the worst of it . . . you almighty sinners.
OH GOD. IT'S STARTING.
Quickly!
I promise that NORMAL OPERATIONS are about to resume, pretty much after tomorrow . . . because I will be back in the New York Office, instead of going hither and thither like a hobo riding the rails.
I've just done a whole bunch of interviews, so I offer this one up as a placeholder post.
Also . . . I have decided that, to celebrate my return to my house and my desk (when I get there), I am doing another edition of ASK MJ. So if you leave questions, you may get my EXPERT OPINION. Stick them in the comments, right below this awesome picture of ABBA.
Take a chance on me, and leave your questions below.
Several of you have written in to tell me you HAVE YOUR SCARLETTS! Please tell me how it goes for you. I am writing the second one NOW (well, now I am writing this blog, but when I am done, that it what I will be doing). It’s good to know what you think! Do you have questions? Comments? I NEED TO KNOW! I am very servicey like that. You can also chat about it on the excellent forum set up and run by the members of Scarlett's Eleven.
Some others of you have written in to say that your local store didn’t have it yet, and in some cases MILDLY INSULTED YOU for asking for it so soon! They may be waiting for a shipment, or the box may be in the back of the store, unopened. But should they sass you, put on your most charming smile and say, “I can assure you, good shopkeep, that the book is indeed released. The author herself told me so.”
Because I totally did.
So, I’m back from both Italy and the UK now . . . but things are still crazy around here. I leave tomorrow for THE WEDDING OF DAPHNE UNFEASIBLE, of which I am a part. Daphne, in her agenty wisdom, has asked me to creep down the aisle behind her in the guise of a “maid,” and even give a speech.
But! I have something very important I need to talk to you about today. I need to talk about YOUR FRIENDS.
When I was a high school-sized mj, the most commonly heard phrase around Chez Johnson was, “MAUREEN! GET OFF THE PHONE!” It echoed off every surface. It came out of the heating vents. The towels whispered it. The cat could say it in sign language.
Everyone wanted to know what I was doing on the phone.
I was ALWAYS on the phone. I spent enough time on it to last me ten lifetimes. Perhaps many of you are the same? Perhaps you hear the same cry from your parents/other authority figure/cat? (Feel free to substitute being online for being on the phone. I didn’t quite have that opportunity. If I had, it would have been apocalyptic.)
Yes?
Let me tell you A WONDERFUL SECRET OF GROWING UP in the hopes that I can enable your behavior and provide you justification for your actions!
Those friends I spent ALL THAT TIME ON THE PHONE WITH? Almost every single one of them turned out to be totally and completely awesome. I swell with pride when I think of the things my friends do every day. One example: Betty Vox, the person who ran the prom with me down a Philadelphia street in heels? Betty now runs the department that monitors and tries to prevent domestic violence for an entire state. Betty prevents people from being abused, even murdered. The same Betty who ran down the stairwell with me because I accidentally let fly a VERY NAUGHTY WORD in front of a nun—that’s the same Betty who’s thrown herself wholeheartedly into every case, and has even thrown herself into harm’s way. Betty has stared down killers.
Proud? Oh yes. I’m ridiculously proud of Betty. I’ve known Betty since I was eight years old, so I shudder to think of how much time we clocked on the phone. Years of my life. And you know what? Some of that stuff we talked about then is stuff we are doing now. Betty talked a lot about her views on social justice and violence. We talked a lot about how our school viewed the subject of contraception, or how we should view ourselves as sexual beings. We tore that subject up. We talked about our views of relationships various people were in--some of them very unhealthy. All that info started the ball rolling.
Want another example? Look at me and Daphne. One minute, we’re two idiots bumbling around college together. Then we’re two idiots bumbling around London together, living on cereal and breaking into our own apartment through the window above the trash cans because we can’t figure out how to open the seven locks on the door. Then we’re . . . AGENT AND AUTHOR! And then bride and maid! YEARS of hairbrained planning and wasted time and idle chatter . . .now bloomed into a joyous professional relationship.
And that’s just two of my friends. When I look around at them all, I just can’t believe how excellent they are.
IF IT WORKED FOR ME, IT CAN WORK FOR YOU!
Yes! Your friends! The ones who are always late for algebra, lost your lipstick, are always fighting with their brother/sister/boyfriend . . . but you love them anyway and have to talk to them sixteen hours a day or you’ll DIE? Those are the ones I mean. The ones you can’t live without. The ones you know in your heart are special. Those long phone conversations/chats/cat texting . . . that could all be the foundation for something bigger and more amazing than you currently imagine.
So when your parents say, “Are you EVER going to get off the phone/get offline? Don’t you know you are wasting your life?” You can say, “Au contraire, revered parental figure. I am building a FOUNDATION for a lifetime relationship. For I may now be in high school, but will not be forever. Someday, we will look back on this moment, and we will see in it the start of something great. We will laugh. This moment, now . . . this seemingly irrelevant conversation about [INSERT TOPIC HERE] that we have been having for twenty hours . . . this is where we start our empire.”
And by this point, your parental figure will be backing toward the door, stunned by your cool and weirdly stilted response. Just keep making more crap up that sounds like that, and I promise . . . problem solved!
Blind them with your STRANGE RHETORIC
You think you need more ammo? I hear you, and I provide. I have another friend to tell you about . . .
One of my friends, Peggy Banaszek, is running for State Representative* in Pennsylvania from District 182. That’s Center City, Philadelphia.
I’ve known Peggy since the age of fourteen. Peggy was that person in high school who was always smiling—not because she was crazy, but because she actually liked pretty much everyone she met, and thought school was fun. Some of you would say that is the technical definition of crazy, but I assure you, Peggy is all about the sanity.
Peggy was the loose model for Nina Bermudez in The Bermudez Triangle—the tireless and even-tempered president of the student counsel who attended specialized programs in student government, plowed through every class, and skipped sleep to help her friends. In real life, Peggy was a mathematics major at Mount Holyoke who cheerfully worked THREE jobs to pay her way through school. For Peggy, a glass of wine and a DVD box set of The West Wing is a big night out, and budget reports are enjoyable bedtime reading. Seriously. Peggy does this and she SMILES. She LIKES it. It is in her nature. I have known her for many, many years, and she has always been this way.
We are also still making fun of her for that one time she turned to us in social studies sophomore year and said, “Where are you guys thinking about getting your first suits from?” I’m serious. She really did that. And she will never live it down.
And really, there is just no one more competent. Peggy has been working very fancy jobs since the moment she graduated. I mean, she can count to like a billion, balance a budget while standing on one foot, and is compulsively honest.
It boggles my mind to think of it, because I feel like we’re all trained to believe that all politicians are rotten and barely human and the whole process is a fiasco wrapped inside of a sham. For the first time, I feel like I can really say, No! No, it’s not! I seriously know this candidate! I can provide pictures of us doing hilarious and strange dances at the prom. I know her record is clean because I am in the record! I know it back and front!
In fact, I am a staff member on her campaign! Have been for months! Oh, you may think that I spent all my time coveting Vespas, dancing to Abba, and making jello molds in the shape of Ana Metronic’s head . . . and you'd be mostly right . . . but I also do things like edit campaign letters.
In order to become state rep, Peggy has to first win the Democratic primary on Tuesday, April 22nd. Normally, no one pays any attention to primaries, but this one will be HUGE. This is the big one in Pennsylvania in which Obama and Hillary are squaring off. So we are hoping for a MONSTER TURNOUT!
So that day, I will be on patrol on the streets of Philadelphia with TEAM PEGGY, getting out the vote! If you want to meet me and hang out, feel free to do so! I will stick a VOTE PEGGY button on you and we can sing some Abba songs and talk about Vespas. All are welcome!
A quick summation of today’s points:
1. Scarlett is fully at large! Your comments are needed and welcome! If I get enough of them, I will devote a whole post to answering them.
2. I (hopefully) have provided justification for the many, many hours you spend in electronic or telephonic communication with your friends.
3. VOTE PEGGY! Come on out on April 22nd!
Now I have to go and finish writing this speech for Daphne’s wedding on Saturday (which I will blog all about, of course). It’s going along really well so far. Daphne, if you are reading this, YOU HAVE NO REASON TO BE NERVOUS!
ALSO: If any of you are TEXAN LIBRARIANS, I will be at TLA next week. You can see me SEVERAL TIMES on Wednesday, the 16th. See the bulletins page for the details!
* If you are a John Green fan, you will know that he also has a friend (Daniel Biss) who is running for state rep in Illinois. Which begs the question: do ALL YA writers have friends who are running for state rep?
No. I think it is just the two of us. But it does go to prove my point. Friends make good! They even end up running stuff! Well, hopefully.
Yes! You read the headline! SUITE SCARLETT IS NOW ON SALE! The Hopewell Hotel is OPEN. Scarlett, Spencer, Lola, and Marlene are waiting for you!
I honestly had no idea this was going to happen so soon. I flew back to the UK from Italy last night, after spending six completely excellent days with Scott Westerfeld, Justine Larbalestier, Holly Black, and Cassie Clare. I was planning my post today to be about all the many foods we ate, our tower apartment of fun, the many Vespas I saw (and took pictures of), and the fact that Cassie’s new book, City of Ashes, debuted at #3 on the New York Times list! There was much screaming and joy. There is nothing quite like five YA authors leaping around at the top of an Italian tower.
The fun ended kind of abruptly at the airport. British Air is still having a little trouble since the new terminal at Heathrow went into meltdown last week. So there were some hijinks in which they misplaced our luggage, ate my ticket, and temporarily couldn’t find our plane. Also, somewhere in transit, I realized I was slightly under the weather. So, I came into the London Office, lugging my bags full of cheese and pasta and books . . . and basically fell face-first into bed.
This morning, the little English birds were twittering away, and I came over to the computer to put up my post about Vespas and books and cheese. Then I read your comments. First, Reece said she’d bought the book on Amazon. Then Michelle said she encountered it at a Barnes and Noble in Indiana.
My brain was still kind of fuzzy. I was all "wot?" and "huh?" I had to read the comments a few times before it penetrated.
Perhaps you know the feeling of anticipating something for a long time . . . and then things sneak up on you? When you turn your back? And you had all these plans? And suddenly on morning there you are when everything just HAPPENS, half dressed, one shoe on, hair standing on end, the police knocking on your door, a strange helicopter on your lawn, a mustachioed Russian spy hiding in your Tupperware cupboard pretending to be a salad spinner, six marmosets sneaking off with your coat . . .
Know what I mean? That was me, this morning. And kind of this afternoon. And to a certain extent, now. But I know what to do when feeling this way—I take my vitamin A.B.B.A. and I feel the awesome flood my veins and revivify me. There is no way not to love a video like this, with its Brady Bunch graphics, creeping-killer-fog soft focus, excellent use of chairs, pointless jumping, and dancing that I can recreate. If you are in any way under the weather or put upon my life today, watch this at once!
So, my blog plans went out the window and I had to come and start shouting. Your room at the Hopewell is ready! You can get it on Amazon or Barnes and Noble online RIGHT NOW! If the book is not in your local store yet, it should be VERY SOON.
I’ll return with your normally scheduled blog post shortly. In the meantime, please let me know in the comments if you’ve seen it, if ABBA has had a positive effect on your life, or anything else you want to tell me.
Also, The Eleven have set up and are running this new MJ FORUM. So you can talk amongst yourselves, and I can come and lurk.
