THE 13 DAYS OF CHEER!

So, it’s December. Those of you who have been around these parts for a while know that I AM FAN OF THE HOLIDAYS. I can barely contain myself through the year, so eager am I to put up my tree, hang the shiny things, and let loose the hamsters of joy. Christmas carols, holiday stories, cookies, stockings, general merriment . . . I am there, 100%!

For the past three years, I have done a holiday card giveaway. For the first two, I made each card myself, until I reduced myself to such a broken condition that I had to get the cards printed. Then last year, I got double or triple the requests. I spent six weeks singing and addressing the cards—working right through Christmas Eve—until I was once again a broken (but CHEERFUL!) wreck.

This year, I am faced with a big deadline, and I have finally admitted to myself that the card thing has gotten away from me. I do not have the time or the muscle power in my freakishly small hands to write out the hundreds of cards again.

“Fie!” I said, when I realized this. “How will I spread CHEER?”



How could I be CHEERFUL under these circumstances?

And then, it hit me . . . I could TWITTER my Cheer.

Let's start December off right with the 13 Days of Cheer! Here’s how this works: every day, I will pick someone at random on Twitter who replies or otherwise writes to or mentions me and that person wins a book! (One of mine, of course. And by “mine,” I mean, written by me, not just a book I own.) There is a wide selection on offer, including two copies of the as-yet-unreleased Scarlett Fever! It could be any time of the day. You will never know when the CHEER ATTACK is coming.

Now, of course, this isn’t the ONLY way I am going to spread Cheer. This is like a warm-up exercise for the first half of the month, before I get the BIG CHEER on. And, as is my custom, I will answer your Cheer-related questions. If there is something you need to know about the holidays, I am here to help.

16 LIES ABOUT JOHN GREEN

Remember when you told all those lies about me on Twitter? Well, THIS is like THAT, but with John Green. You have TWO HOURS to vote! That’s until 4pm NYC time! To the winner, a SCARLETT FEVER!

1. mighty_mouse720 @realjohngreen believes it's not butter.

2. erinv@realjohngreen will knock three times on the ceiling if he wants you, twice on the pipes if the answer is no.

3. Loisunpublished @realjohngreen has never really looked for Alaska

4. mighty_mouse720 @realjohngreen dropped an infant into a well, trying to teach it how to swim.

5. Helena2011 @realjohngreen gets a pedicure every tuesday. His toenails say 'i <3 Maureen!'

6. Loisunpublished @realjohngreen invented the Slap-Chop.

7. erinv @realjohngreen is currently writing a book on the fine art of 'manscaping'"

8. K_elli @realjohngreen's main form of transportation is a bike with a flowered banana seat and sparkly pink tassels

9. mighty_mouse720 By day John Green is an author/vlogger, but by night he is the Emerald Arachnid, saving populations in a giant spider suit.

10. lonesome_pine There is no @realjohngreen. Only Zuul.

11. chipmunk2011 @realjohngreen is selling maureen johnson collectibles on ebay. they have her real hair

12. Sergium @realjohngreen is actually just Maureen Johnson before she puts her makeup on.

13. lcrosbie @realjohngreen once tested new medical product called Viagrogaine...now puff levels can never go down.

14. ImaginaryGel http://twitpic.com/eddxy - @maureenjohnson John Green and @coollike got into a fight over who would play Keith. John lost.

15. deanocarroll John Green installed Death Panels on his roof and now all his electricity comes from old people and puppies dying

16. nickmcrae @realjohngreen John Green wears Drakkar Noir.


UPDATE: It was quite a battle, but the winner was NUMBER 15.