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Wednesday, August 19, 2009


Remember when you told all those lies about me on Twitter? Well, THIS is like THAT, but with John Green. You have TWO HOURS to vote! That’s until 4pm NYC time! To the winner, a SCARLETT FEVER!

1. mighty_mouse720 @realjohngreen believes it's not butter.

2. erinv@realjohngreen will knock three times on the ceiling if he wants you, twice on the pipes if the answer is no.

3. Loisunpublished @realjohngreen has never really looked for Alaska

4. mighty_mouse720 @realjohngreen dropped an infant into a well, trying to teach it how to swim.

5. Helena2011 @realjohngreen gets a pedicure every tuesday. His toenails say 'i <3 Maureen!'

6. Loisunpublished @realjohngreen invented the Slap-Chop.

7. erinv @realjohngreen is currently writing a book on the fine art of 'manscaping'"

8. K_elli @realjohngreen's main form of transportation is a bike with a flowered banana seat and sparkly pink tassels

9. mighty_mouse720 By day John Green is an author/vlogger, but by night he is the Emerald Arachnid, saving populations in a giant spider suit.

10. lonesome_pine There is no @realjohngreen. Only Zuul.

11. chipmunk2011 @realjohngreen is selling maureen johnson collectibles on ebay. they have her real hair

12. Sergium @realjohngreen is actually just Maureen Johnson before she puts her makeup on.

13. lcrosbie @realjohngreen once tested new medical product called Viagrogaine...now puff levels can never go down.

14. ImaginaryGel http://twitpic.com/eddxy - @maureenjohnson John Green and @coollike got into a fight over who would play Keith. John lost.

15. deanocarroll John Green installed Death Panels on his roof and now all his electricity comes from old people and puppies dying

16. nickmcrae @realjohngreen John Green wears Drakkar Noir.

UPDATE: It was quite a battle, but the winner was NUMBER 15.

Labels: , ,


Blogger Lauren said...

Hahaha, these are all hilarious. I vote 15 :)

10:34 PM  
Blogger itokro said...

It has to be #15. Just brilliant.

10:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These are all awesome - how do people think of these things?

I vote number 12, by @Sergium.

10:35 PM  
Blogger Andrew Kornfeld said...

it's gotta be 15 ahahah

10:35 PM  
Blogger Becky Jean said...

I vote #13. So funny.

10:36 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

HAHAHA. I think I'm gonna have to vote 12.

10:36 PM  
OpenID serafina-zane said...

15. Just...yeah, 15. I lol'd.

10:36 PM  
Blogger Amerah said...


10:37 PM  
Anonymous Michael said...

Number 1

10:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Number 3

10:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


10:37 PM  
Blogger Chelsea said...

All of them were funny, but only #13 made me laugh out loud, so I vote for that one.

10:38 PM  
Blogger Mattie said...

I vote 13

10:38 PM  
Anonymous Kam said...

I like #8 - That's such an image in my head, John on his lovely bicycle.

10:38 PM  
Blogger Marvelous Maggie said...

Definitely 12!

10:39 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Hands down it goes to #3

10:39 PM  
Anonymous Susie said...

Definitely 13, Viagrogaine. :D

10:39 PM  
Blogger Melanie said...

Number 3, ftw!

10:39 PM  
Blogger Steph said...

12, definitely 12

10:40 PM  
Anonymous Kelly said...

1 and 7 are definitely my faves.

10:40 PM  
Blogger gem said...

I vote #13!

10:40 PM  
OpenID brainless47 said...

#6 definitely! Slap-Chop is epic!

10:40 PM  
Blogger MOEgir198 said...

well i wish i could win but 15 is really funny.

10:41 PM  
Blogger Travis said...

It's close for me between 7, 13, and 15, but I think I have to go with 13 as the winner.

10:42 PM  
Anonymous Cadwaladr said...

I vote for 13

10:42 PM  
Blogger Cookie Lisa said...

Is it cheating to vote for my own? If not, I vote #13.

10:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

#4 haha

10:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


10:46 PM  
Anonymous AmandaRumm said...

Number 3 was quite funny, but I think I vote for number 15 :]

10:46 PM  
Blogger Ashley Michelle said...

#13, for sure!

10:47 PM  
Blogger Paige said...

I vote 15!

10:47 PM  
Blogger Paige said...

I vote 15!
They're all good, though!

10:47 PM  
Anonymous Alexandra said...

Number 1

10:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These are great! Two made me snort but 15 is pretty funny.

10:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Number 15!

10:51 PM  
Anonymous Rose said...

These are great!
I vote for 15.

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Sam said...


10:53 PM  
Blogger SpinachPuffs said...

I vote number 13!

10:53 PM  
OpenID emilysaysgo said...

These are all awesome, but I think I have to go with the only one that made me laugh out loud. I vote 13.

10:54 PM  
Blogger colorlessblue said...

#15, but #10 is a close second.

10:54 PM  
Blogger Meghan said...

Oh wow, these are all so good.
I have to go with 13 though!

10:55 PM  
Blogger Nik said...

I vote 15!

10:56 PM  
Blogger Bronwen said...

I so vote 12!! but they're all awesome!

10:56 PM  
Anonymous Isabela said...


10:57 PM  
Blogger Anne said...

Hahaha. Oh man, I love 7, but I think I have to give #13 my vote, because I literally laughed out loud.

10:57 PM  
OpenID adrenalinejunkieonacid said...

12, my love, 12

10:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


10:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I vote 13.

10:58 PM  
Blogger Mary said...


10:58 PM  
Blogger Nik said...

They're all great but I vote for 15!

10:58 PM  
Blogger runa said...

I vote #3, although #15 is hysterical as well.

11:00 PM  
OpenID robinwasserman said...


11:00 PM  
Anonymous falakk said...

They're all such wonderful lies! These people have great imaginations!

I vote number 15! Absolute genius!

11:01 PM  
Blogger Rebeca said...

Oh, definitely #15. These are all brilliant though!

11:02 PM  
Anonymous Ami said...

Can't believe I have to pick just one but I say #15 is my favorite, I think.

11:02 PM  
Blogger annaface said...


11:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

7... Definitely

And 8... Because I'd love to see John on a girly bike!

11:02 PM  
Anonymous Renee (aka ShakespeareFrost) said...

THIRTEEN! It was hilarious! =D

11:03 PM  
Anonymous Amanda said...


It's gotta be 15 though. You know it's true.

11:08 PM  
Anonymous arii94 said...

I'm going to have to go with number 12. Just because it's unbearably funny to imagine. Not to mention how hilarious it is the other way around: Maureen Johnson is actually just John Green before HE puts his make up on. No offense intended :)

11:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:10 PM  
Blogger Dida said...


11:12 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

#15 :]

11:12 PM  
Anonymous Lindsey said...


11:12 PM  
Blogger rdsull89 said...


11:13 PM  
Blogger wendy_darling said...

Number 8!

11:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

#7 FTW!!

11:14 PM  
Anonymous Elise said...

It's terrible, but definitely 15.

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm going to go with #10, with #15 coming in right behind it.

11:23 PM  
OpenID helenkiaya said...

I vote for 15 because it is made of both win AND awesome.

11:23 PM  
Blogger Casey McCormick said...

My fave is #7

11:24 PM  
Blogger *Luca* said...

number 4!! It's cruel but funny :D

11:25 PM  
Blogger leounleashed said...


11:25 PM  
Blogger omgitslouise said...

15!! :] <3

11:26 PM  
Blogger Pansy said...

LOL #15!

11:26 PM  
Blogger pao said...

13 is definitely the best!

11:27 PM  
Blogger Emily said...

7. Hehehe.

11:28 PM  
Anonymous Effy said...

I vote for NUMBER FOUR. Hard to choose, though!

11:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha. These are all great, but I'm going to have to go with 12.

11:30 PM  
Anonymous Patricia said...

I've got to go with #5.. but they're all great xD

11:30 PM  
Blogger s0merand0mdude said...

I wish I could vote for 15 AND 12, but I'll just do 12.

11:30 PM  
Blogger D. Claude Katz said...

i heart 15

11:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tie between #7 and #9

11:31 PM  
Blogger OliviaElaineB said...

12. Definitely #12 [:

11:32 PM  
Blogger FredWeasley'sGurl said...

I gotta go with 10 or 15! Most likely 15!

11:32 PM  
Blogger Nancy said...

Haha, I vote number 12. XD

11:34 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

I vote #3.

11:34 PM  
Blogger amazingly_grace said...

13, please. HiLARious!

11:34 PM  
Blogger Senfaye said...


11:35 PM  
Blogger HWPetty said...

Must. Vote. 10.

11:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Number 8!

11:38 PM  
Blogger Tressla said...

I have to say # 10.

Its hysterical.

11:40 PM  
Blogger jess said...

15 ftw.

11:40 PM  
Blogger Madame Suede said...

15, definitely! :D

11:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1, definitely 1. Though 4 is good too.

11:43 PM  
Anonymous Ching Chong Hong Vong Dai Chi said...


11:43 PM  
Anonymous Dre said...

14. =D

11:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

15 is the only one that had me literally laughing out loud. The others were clever, but that one was gold.

11:45 PM  
Blogger Caitlin said...

15! I saw it yesterday and was like OHMYGOD YES.

11:45 PM  
Blogger Abby said...

15, for sure.

11:46 PM  
Anonymous megan Flinn said...

I loved so many, but I have to vote 15... bc i think we all know there's a little truth in every lie. :P

11:46 PM  
Blogger Hailee said...

#13 all the way!
made me laugh for a good two minutes.

11:48 PM  
Anonymous AeroWing said...

#12 for sure.

11:48 PM  
Blogger Alli said...

Number 10 for awesome Ghostbusters reference!

11:50 PM  
Anonymous Jarvis said...

I love 14's picture. xD

11:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

umm... 3

11:51 PM  
Blogger theoriginaledi said...

#13 for sure. Multiple layers of meaning ftw!

And I don't normally do this, but this one is impossible to ignore. CAPTCHA dictionary: ammenn = what monks sing at the end of hymns.

11:51 PM  
Blogger Dean O'Carroll said...

My vote is for #15.

Why ... um ... well ... it was my entry.

Hope it's okay to vote for yourself.

11:51 PM  
Blogger Melany said...

I vote #10! It was freaking hilarious.

11:52 PM  
Anonymous MesserFan said...

I vote #2. Except when he answers yes, he throws two hamsters out the window.

11:53 PM  
Anonymous Roxy said...

They're all great, but I'm gonna have to vote for 14. The picture that person made cracks me up.

11:58 PM  
Blogger Andrea said...

14 is too funny!
She get's my vote!

12:07 AM  
Blogger Goddess said...

#15, although 4 is highly amusing.

12:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

13 of 16 haha

12:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Number 12 is the best.

12:10 AM  
Anonymous Tiffers said...

I like 12 and 13 best but I'll vote for 12.

12:11 AM  
Blogger everybody's looking for a blue sky. said...

I wasn't goin to do it, but dean did it! Lol I'm voting for one of my own! :P

I laughed forever when I came up with 7. lol So I'll go with that one. Yep, and it's still funny!


12:12 AM  
Blogger CEO said...

15 is hilarity. Tis my vote.

12:13 AM  
OpenID free2fligh said...

haha i love them all!
but i vote 12

12:16 AM  
Blogger hopeandcheer said...

I think number 12 was the most clever.

12:17 AM  
Blogger Emily said...


12:19 AM  
Anonymous Fidelius said...

That's so hard to choose... I like 15 and 3, but I think I'll go with 15!

12:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


12:27 AM  
Anonymous Laura said...


12:29 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

16, for sure. Because I went to junior high in the late 80s.

12:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


12:31 AM  
Blogger Linnea said...

Number 15!

12:33 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

Number 12, please.

12:34 AM  
Blogger librarianlisam said...

I vote for #3.

12:37 AM  
Anonymous Veronica Diaz said...


12:37 AM  
Blogger Brooke Reviews said...

lol #8 is too believable. I vote for #7! ;)

12:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Number 3!

12:44 AM  
Blogger Rena said...

#13 is hilarious. All of them are, but I HAVE to choose.

12:46 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

3 or 15

12:47 AM  
Anonymous Becca said...

Number 13!

12:51 AM  
Blogger carolinehwilliams said...


12:59 AM  
OpenID trudeau1031 said...

number 15!!


1:04 AM  
Blogger Alysa said...


1:57 AM  
Blogger Nadia Murti said...

In order of preference:



2:49 AM  
Blogger Noel said...

I really like three, but I'm going to go with

12. Sergium @realjohngreen is actually just Maureen Johnson before she puts her makeup on.

Lmfao. XD

4:10 AM  
Blogger charliehooper said...

#27! what? there isnt a 27? crap...

4:25 AM  
Anonymous Laurisa said...

I vote 15, haha!

4:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love your contests like this but it's not fair that some people get multiple entries in the final voting lists. I think each person should only be allowed one in the finals, to make it fair to everyone else.

4:33 AM  
Blogger Lundy said...

I would vote for #15. so funny!

5:40 AM  
Anonymous Rachel said...

Hahahahahahah I def vote 15 :)

6:50 AM  
Anonymous kira902k said...

3 and 12 are clearly the funniest.
Great how Dean won. I love him!
I love these liar idols! I wish I was creative enough to get in :P


9:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

number 12!

11:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I vote #8
he so stole my bike

1:53 AM  
Blogger Ms. E said...

12, definitely

3:06 AM  
Blogger Janna. said...

number three!

4:30 AM  

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