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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

THE RABBITS

This week has been entirely consumed with the writing of Suite Scarlett 2. As I have mentioned many times before, the final stages of working on a book are not always the most elegant or smooth. There comes a point where you (“you” meaning “I” in this case) go on a little vacation from realityland. When you’ve been by yourself in a room in front of a computer screen making up stuff since what feels like the beginning of time . . . things start to wobble around the edges.

England isn’t helping with this.

I mean, when I walked to the High Street today to get a hot beverage, I was immediately confronted by a woman wearing a white ballgown and a tiara who was playing “New York, New York” on the clarinet. I think it was for charity, but still, that kind of thing is not good for the mind when it is already a little soft and past the sell-by date.

Later, I went to the gym for a little physical activity, because regular physical activity is of critical importance during this period. There is a very nice gym here, right on the other side of a large park. I was walking back home after getting my exercise when I saw MY RABBITS.

I don’t think I’ve told you about the rabbits.

There is a wooded area around the park where apparently ALL RABBITS IN THE WORLD COME FROM. The entire lawn is carpeted in them. Like, if you wanted to walk all the way from the gym to the woods (which is kind of far), you could do it just by stepping from rabbit to rabbit, like you were playing Frogger. Not that I recommend walking on rabbits. The only thing you should walk on is a carefully marked path or SUNSHINE.

Anyway, there are about—I don’t know—one million-billion-trillion (approx.) rabbits between the gym and the woods, and at the time, there was just one me. The only human. But as I came down the path, all the rabbits stopped moving. They stopped hopping and twitching and nibbling and waited to see what I was about to do next.

Maybe it’s because I live in New York City and the only place I see a rabbit is on a menu—but seeing all the rabbits made me go a little mad with power, like I was the Rabbit God. If I so much as leaned forward, the rabbits would collectively twitch. If I took a step back, their ears would move. Everything these rabbits did depended on me. So when I finally had to continue down the path, I caused a RABBIT STAMPEDE that I think could be felt for miles.

But when I got to the end of the path . . . I hid. I kept watch as all the rabbits came back out. And then I did it again. I kept doing this until some other people came down the path and I couldn’t get away with it anymore.

So I came back to my desk and sat down with a happy smile on my face, because, you know . . . rabbits . . . and I stared at the computer. Oscar came by and said, “How is the book coming?” And I said, “I CONTROL ALL THE RABBITS.” And he said, “I will leave you alone for a little while.”



Your sequel is coming! I have my rabbits to help me.


Just when I was thinking that no one was as unhinged as me, I started reading some of your e-mail, in which many of you have communicated the feeling that you are ALSO going a little funny in the revolving restaurant upstairs. Don’t be disturbed by this, friends. It happens to all of us.

And in the interest of public service, I wanted to put forth a few cases of people who may have taken the journey a little longer and farther than you or I have.

THE WOMAN WHO MARRIED THE BERLIN WALL


In 1979, a Swedish woman married the Berlin Wall in a small ceremony attended by a few friends and family members. She took her husband’s name.

Now, I know what you are probably thinking, because I thought it too . . .that invite is hotter than the one to Bella and Edward’s wedding. Vampire wedding, okay, but . . . WOMAN AND BERLIN WALL. That’s the one you need to go to. If I got that invitation, I would be happy for the rest of my rabbit-infested life.

And people did go, apparently.

Of course, things hit an understandable snag in 1989 when the Wall was torn down, opening the border between East and West Berlin. The woman remains married to the wall, but has transferred her affections to a nearby garden fence. This is the fence:



Here, you can listen to some very relaxing music and find out why the Berlin Wall is the “best and sexiest wall that every existed." There is also this page of sexy fences.


DAD PROM

While not quite the same as marrying the Berlin Wall, I have few issues with The Dad Prom, which is not actually called The Dad Prom, but the “Father-Daughter Purity Ball,” which is actually a little worse.

I like my dad a lot, but I really can’t imagine anything I would have wanted to go to less than a formal dance in which he pledged to protect my purity under a sword and a seven foot cross. I would much rather be listening to Belgian techno, arranging my safety manual collection, sewing silver sequins to my outfit for the opening of the Abba museum . . . or really, anything else. Anything.

Don’t get me wrong . . . faith plays an important role in many lives. I know this. I just have to wonder about any event in which all the girls are herded together to get the message that sex is dirty and that we require protection by a male figure with a big, pointy object. And then be made to do the Electric Slide.

When my dad wanted to take me out for some bonding, we would go to used car dealerships and mess with the salesmens' heads. We would go around looking at all the cars, and we would stop and ask to see the trunk on one. I would climb in and say, “Yeah, I think we can get three or four packages in here if we bend them up right. And we can ditch this one easy in the river. It’s one of those old, heavy cars. It won’t float up like the last one. Now close it and walk away a few feet and see if you can hear me scream.”

Oh, the good times we used to have! We made our own fun!

All I’m saying is . . . the spectrum of experience is broader than we think, and crazy is a very relative term.

But if you are needing an instant dose of sanity RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND, I remain at your service. Watch this—possibly the best song by the greatest band in the world. If you are not feeling better by the end of this, I’ll send the rabbits.



YOU'RE WELCOME!


TODAY’S RANDOM WINNER:


. . . is AMY from ENGLAND.

Another book to another commenter today!

Also, have you entered the SUITE SCARLETT SWEEPSTAKES yet? The banner is right there on the side! CLICK IT!

Labels: , , ,

99 Comments:

Blogger chanel.wa said...

The madness never ends. Crazy ladies dressed as The Statue of Liberty, Maureen-following rabbits, cool bands, hopping onto truck hoods, marrying fences, dancing with dads, and let's not forget the best part...

free BOOKS! (plz)
Even though I'm not from that crazy place called England...

5:38 AM  
Blogger chanel.wa said...

Oh....and I have a question!

What music is most played in the ya author mansion? Who plays what, and at what volume?

5:47 AM  
Anonymous Allie said...

That's really funny! And I want to know the answer to that question too chanel.wa! Rabbits are AWESOME and you are now the Rabbit QUEEN! niiiccceee.

5:49 AM  
Anonymous Allie said...

oh and I would love a book!

5:49 AM  
Blogger chanel.wa said...

Thanks for the song, too! Okay, I should stop posting now. But yeah, that song just totally made my day!

5:50 AM  
Anonymous jellybean said...

But what are you going to do with your new-found rabbit magic? Are you going to be drunk with power, asking your furry minions to do your evil bidding? That is my concern.

(And yes, book, please.)

5:56 AM  
Blogger Erin said...

I think that link about sexy fences unhinged my mind a little. It left me with many questions that I'm afraid will never be answered. What determines the sexiness of a fence? The color? The length? The pointiness? Is it really legal to marry an inanimate object in Germany? What if a wall doesn't want to be kissed/fondled/married?

The world will never know.

(I would love a book to read during a very boring summer, btw)

6:02 AM  
Blogger Renata said...

Haha the kids at my camp were obsessed with that song a few years ago. Unfortunately, it drives me crazy because of that. But your rabbit story did definitely keep me sane because I have THREE MORE PAPERS to write tonight! Grr. Not excited. Glad to hear that England is not treating you *too* bad. Wish I could be there now . . . so long as it's not school, anywhere would be a nice change.

6:26 AM  
Blogger Erin said...

okay so i clicked play on the video and i was like "i am so pissed/sad/emotional that she'll have to send the rabbits no matter HOW good this song is..." and then i heard the first few notes and my brain went "UNLESS THIS SONG IS 'WEARING PURPLE'" except not conciously and then he was like "START WEARING PURPLE" and i was like I HEART MJ.

so you have made me so happy.

6:40 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

I have stopped being surprised by things like the Purity Balls. There once was a time when such occurences that would make me go WTF?!?!, but not anymore. I have heard oh-so-many strange stories about that sort of stuff.

Hmm....you control the rabbits, do you? Perhaps you could put this newfound power to some use. Like....you could send them after people. They can be your MINIONS, and they will do your bidding. BWAHAHAHAHAA!!

I am OLD and therefore can't enter the sweepstakes. I will console myself by eating an entire dark-chocolate-with-mint-filling Ghiradelli candy bar now.

7:00 AM  
Blogger Reese said...

It seems as though it is time for a rant.

It is a rant about how an evil rabbit tried to kill my friend. I can not vouch for the facts, but I do believe she would never lie about anything important.

So, she's in the park and a rabbit starts hopping beside her. And it hops right up next to her dog and just walks with them. So, like an idiot, she leans down to pet the weirdo rabbit that came too close, and it very nearly bit her hand. So, she picks up her dog and runs away, and the rabbit hops after her car for like, a half mile.

Creepy, no?

Yes, rabbits are evil.

No, I did not have a point.

7:06 AM  
Anonymous Elaine S. said...

Bow down to the Queen of Rabbits!

A chipmunk once stalked me....

7:07 AM  
Anonymous Chandler said...

I hope you realize all the power you have as the Queen of Rabbits. :) You can do anything, really. You could gather all the world's rabbits together and make them do anything you want. Maybe they can even protect you from J.K. Rowling. She might be scared of rabbits. She SHOULD be scared of rabbits, especially when they have a new Queen. Hmmm... I feel like I'm not making sense. Oh, well.

I'd really love a book. Thanks!

7:21 AM  
Blogger Alysa said...

wow. awesome. i think you need a rabbit crown. (still crossing my fingers for a scarlett)

7:28 AM  
Anonymous Jas said...

I love Gogol Bordello! I run to this song, because it's so very bouncy (most of my running mix consists of Russian and German metal. I wonder what that says about me). Did you see Everything is Illuminated? They were the band that was playing when Jonathan got off the train. Plus, Eugene Hutz was a main character. It doesn't get much cooler than that.
You were right, MJ. I feel much less insane right now.
Thank you.

7:48 AM  
Blogger klosekraft said...

Of COURSE you're a Gogol Bordello fan. I hit the play button on the video thinking yes, well, let's see what she thinks the best band in the world is. And whaddaya know? You're right.

I was going to say something about Eugene djing most Thursdays at the Bulgarian Bar, which is still true as far as I know, but a) that makes me sound a lot cooler than I am and b) also insufferably pretentious. Forget I mentioned it.

8:05 AM  
Anonymous nosidam said...

I think that you should use your mad rabbit controlling skills to crash a purity ball. That would be amusing. Though also probably very frightening.

8:15 AM  
OpenID edarra said...

Well this is not about a rabbit, however your story for some reason reminded me of the time in 8th grade history class when my entire class was staring out the window bored out of our minds when we noticed a squirrel sitting under a tree. Holding a lolly-pop. Licking it. So I dunno. For me it's a toss-up between the lolly-pop squirrel and the Berlin Wall wedding.

But of course, a book would be better than either one... :)

8:27 AM  
Anonymous Haddy-la said...

i wish i controlled all the rabits i could send them out to scare all the people made of suck
i like how the guy broke out of the sraight jaket
book please...

8:37 AM  
Anonymous Haddy-la said...

seriously that berlin wall thing has to be the creepiest thing ive ever heard of i mean erm phychotrist possibly...
probably...
please...
hurry...
go now...

8:43 AM  
Anonymous Diamond D said...

Oh my gosh, Maureen. I cannot believe you posted that video. That song always makes me smile, no matter what.
=D

You're amazing.

8:45 AM  
Blogger Judy said...

The song didn't make me feel any better....I think I need the rabbits...

8:46 AM  
Blogger Elainareads said...

lol loved the song im so wearing purple tomorrow
i want to see fields of furry rabbits it must be awesome being the Rabbit Queen.

Please please please enter me for the book.

=D

8:50 AM  
OpenID truexillusions said...

That song... it scares me.


I like it.

10:48 AM  
Blogger Maggie said...

Ah! Fabulous rabbit story! The rabbits all over my grad school were Surveillance Bunnies, who watched everyone carefully and then held perfectly still when they knew you could see them. Because they are not allowed to get caught, see.

Maybe you stumbled upon Surveillance Bunny spy training camp.

I still have plush bunnies around because of the Surveillance Bunnies. Because if the bunnies are watching, then I am safe!

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Amani said...

Um really weird video...
Could i get a book? :)

12:08 PM  
Anonymous Kimberly said...

A book would be AWESOME. And I went to borders yesterday and they didn't have suite scarlet, so i bought devilish.

12:19 PM  
Blogger Karen Mahoney said...

I'd love a copy of SS... We really need to see more of your books over here on the London bookstore shelves. :)

6:07 PM  
OpenID lve2write said...

My area of the world is currently undergoing a cicada attack. If you have never seen a cicada before, google image one. And then, imagine them everywhere. Literally everywhere. Covering the ground, the porch, the laundry lines. They swoop at you when you leave the saftey of your front door. And they make the most awful noise all day and night long. Like a car alarm, only much more high pitched, coming from all directions. Lately, I have been finding half eaten cicadas on the ground, and I know that we have a tiny rabbit living under our back porch (its about the size of a rat), which I believe (and hope) is starting to eat them. However, as you are queen of the rabbits now, I was sincerely wishing that you would send your army of rabbits to battle (or just eat) the cicadas, before they take over this side of the world. Thanks!

6:44 PM  
Blogger Nina said...

So what happened after they tore down the wall? Did she have a funeral for it (him?)?

7:38 PM  
Blogger *Heather* said...

Wow, your blog is hilarious. I don't have time for a full-fledged comment just yet, but maybe...idk. Never mind

7:49 PM  
Blogger Kristin B said...

Well, I'm waiting to hear from a guy about a job (a different thing from going to see a man about a horse), so some Start Wearing Purple is good.

Also, rabbits. Yeah. You should really be careful to harness that power for good, not for evil. I know the temptation is great, but be strong. DON'T GO TO THE DARK SIDE.

8:21 PM  
Anonymous Jessica-ca-ca said...

Gogol Bordello? More, please.

Objectúm-sexuality? Erm, no thanks.

Free Suite Scarlett? Yes, ma'am! ;D

9:12 PM  
Anonymous Hillary said...

Wow. Those rabbits sound awesome. Oh, and a book would make me mucho alegre. Every time I go into Borders I get so excited with all the books that are surrounding me, just waiting to be read that I almost explode little flakes of happy Hillary all over the place. It's crazy. My parents should not let me go in.

10:21 PM  
Anonymous VT Girl said...

I really want to read Suite Scarlett, and my library keeps saying they're getting it, but never do, so I want to win it!

10:24 PM  
Blogger lanna-lovely said...

I used to do the same thing with pigeons... now I find it really hard to resist the urge to run like a crazy person when I see loads of pigeons flocked together (or just any birds really).

This isn't a good thing seeing as I usually find them in really busy, public places... like in Dundee. Although! That does make it funnier seeing as some people have a really irrational fear of birds and when they fly over their heads they will flinch/scream/duck...

I was going to buy Suite Scarlett yesterday, but I bought 13 Little Blue Envelopes instead. :o)

I'll shut up now. :o/

10:29 PM  
Anonymous katie-lyn said...

Oh My God. That was the most amazing video in all of history. So amazing that it makes all the other songs I've listened to seem like...well, like soggy damp french fries compared to the golden deliciousness of the WAFFLE FRY. Basically, your song has made it up there with the waffle fries, which is pretty impressive.
BUNNIES?!?! Oh my goodness golly gosh, I want some. I mean, do you know how awesometastic bunnies are? They are absolutely fantastically filled with yumminess, which is my word for awesomeness. Please don't think I'm a bunny eater. They're too cute to eat. So if you could please send those bunnies my way, I will be sure to take excellent care of them. I will show them the the best time of their lives! I will feed them chocolate-vanilla swirled ice cream, give them rides in two-person kayaks, dance on the kitchen counters with them, watch Project Runway reruns with them, and of course, read every single page of suite scarlett with them. All the bunnies and I will sigh happily whenever Spencer, Eric, or that crazy guy Carlos are mentioned.

Please forgive me for rambling.

Much love,

Katie-lyn :o)

11:18 PM  
Anonymous JK said...

Maureen, I don't think it's even possible to read your blog without laughing. Hilarious.

11:37 PM  
Anonymous doodlebug23 said...

I would like a book, please!!!

12:51 AM  
Anonymous Chrissy said...

What a coincidence. There's this rabbit that lives outside of my house that will not leave. I'm almost certain that it saw my rabbit though the window and now wants to marry it. I'm not certain but it's a hunch. Although I have named it Charles I'm not certain if it's a boy or not, but that's beside to the point. To each his (her) own. To bad that my bunny has a little girlfriend already. Poor bunny, doesn't know what (s)he's up against.

1:45 AM  
Anonymous R~A said...

i wish i could cause a rabbit stampede- that would be sweet :) :P
could i have a copy of Suite Scarlett?

1:47 AM  
Anonymous Suvi said...

I'm going to bake a carrot cake tomorrow. I have to, it has been so rainy. When you have carrot cake, sun is shining, at least for you. ^^

You know what would also bring the sunshine? A book. ;)

2:31 AM  
Anonymous Suvi said...

Sorry, I'm double-commenting... I started listening to the song right after posting. And I love that song! I've only heard it once before, in a car. It certainly makes me happier. Thank you!

2:36 AM  
Anonymous poodle649 said...

Well, I'm glad you're having fun in England, but I'm just hoping I can find the rabbit central here where I live!

3:52 AM  
OpenID serafina-zane said...

hey, me and my dad do the same thing!
well, not exactly, but we do walk around the having arguments like "if you flush the cat ONE MORE TIME..." or "that's it, i'm locking the gun cabinet."
or go to Guitar Center and mock the sound guys, because they know nothing.
it's good fun.

4:44 AM  
Blogger mina said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:04 AM  
Blogger mina said...

MJ! You most certainly are a rabbit goddess...your last post made me laugh so hard. It made me happy happy ;))

I would LoVE a Suite Scarlett!

I'll be joining you on the continent soon...well not quite..I'm going to Amsterdam but we'll be close enough...he he...let the summer madness begin!

OMG MY verification code says GODrrec! INSANE.

5:05 AM  
Anonymous Raelyn said...

mj, i just have to ask where u find all these videos lol

5:26 AM  
OpenID bellacaterina said...

Start wearing... purple...? Amazing. :p

5:36 AM  
Blogger Trish Doller said...

GOGOL BORDELLO!!?? Maureen, just when I thought I couldn't possibly like you more. I do.

6:02 AM  
OpenID visualkeipenguin said...

MJ, that Berlin Wall thing made my day. Wow. I love you for sharing that with us. Sadly, however, every time I hear a mention of the Berlin Wall from now on, I will promptly die laughing.

I would enter the Suit Scarlett Sweepstakes, but I live in NYC already, so I should leave more chances open for kids who've never been to NYC. :P One day I hope I can meet you though. We can like...go to a vampire/human wedding, or wall/human wedding, or heck, a a vampire/wall wedding. Why not?

6:20 AM  
Anonymous Allyb said...

I keep picturing an MJ and a bajillion rabbits doing the thriller dance like on the life water comercial with the lizards.. lmao

8:36 AM  
Blogger Karissa said...

The rabbit story had be actually lol. Please record them for a possible next youtube video? :]

10:32 AM  
Blogger amy said...

Am I the Amy from England winner?
i hope so!!
how do I claim my prize?

6:23 PM  
OpenID dreamsnake21 said...

http://gotmedieval.blogspot.com/2008/06/mmm-marginalia-dont-call-me-thumper.html

you are not the first to be harrassed by the rabbits.

6:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

With your love of tasers, I knew you'd want to learn about this (courtesy of the kiki strike blog):

http://kikistrikeny.blogspot.com/2008/06/sleek-and-shocking.html

-Amy the Librarian

6:50 PM  
Blogger susan259 said...

Disappointed that you can only enter the Suite Scarlet sweepstakes if you are still a teenager...

Also, saw one of your rabbits in the bushes at my condo complex here in FL--he must have been tired from swimming so far...

7:26 PM  
OpenID brizmus said...

YAY! I LOVE Gogol Bordello! That is a great song you posted!!!!

8:31 PM  
Anonymous Jessica-ca-ca said...

The jellyfish are one step closer to taking over the world.

They're now robotic and float in the air:

http://laughingsquid.com/airjelly-by-festo-a -radio-controlled-airborne-jellyfish/


Time to stock up on non-perishable food items and Red Bull; it's bound to be a long, difficult fight.

9:27 PM  
Blogger courtneylynne said...

that song... wow. I love it.

I entered the Scarlett contest. Even though I haven't read the book yet... hopefully the library will order it soon, or else I might explode. Really.

1:40 AM  
Anonymous Leahr said...

I can't find the contest banner- i clicked a banner and ended up somewhere else. ?
I want to win the Suite Scarlett!
I know how you feel about the rabbit overload. I felt like that when my backyard was full of deer one morning. This does not normally happen. There were five. Big. Deer. Staring at me. More came. Nine, by midafternoon. You need more rabbits to make an impact because they are small. These are deer. I didn't go out and jump at them, though, unlike you, cuz I wanted to take pictures instead.

2:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HARRY POTTER PREQUEL ON THE WEB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JAMES, SIRIUS, POLICE PEOPLE, MAGIC,
WHAT MORE CAN ONE WANT?


http://www.mugglenet.com/app/news/show/1684

3:26 AM  
Blogger Cat said...

I think you should use your newfound rabbit-controlling superpowers to take over the world. Or for some equally nefarious purpose involving crazy rabbits running around.

I learned lots of stuff today reading your blog...great conversation starters. Like, when there's a long awkward pause you can blurt out, "The Berlin Wall is the sexiest wall ever!" Yeah, that would start something.

Oh no! I need to read Suite Scarlett or else my head may explode...and that would suck because I don't want to die.=[ Hoping my library gets it soon...

3:59 AM  
Anonymous kris said...

I'd like to see a photo of said rabbits. ^-^

6:54 AM  
Anonymous pepsivanilla said...

What if I would like to marry a rabbit?

I mean, he is not as attractive as the Berlin Wall, but I see that the Wall is already taken.

For some reason I imagined you and the rabbits in an all-out water balloon fight, also involving hot air balloons. It's a very entertaining daydream.

7:00 AM  
Blogger Lexi Lou said...

Maureen... are you... all right? ^^; I have the same version of brain-mush in art style. See? You made me ramble. And I have to SPEAK PUBLICLY at at BOARD MEETING tomarrow.

I feel ill.

Make me feel better and send me a free book? please? :3

Or in noobspeak: Lyk, Mauren, u r lyk sooooo 1337 wit ur skillz. ya ur skillettzzz duude. can i has a book plz?!??!5

9:27 AM  
Blogger sarah said...

hey Maureen!

i have a blog on here and i was wondering i could interveiw you for it. if you are interested please e-mail me at sarahsue94@yahoo.com

Thanks you!!!!!!!

PS UR AWSOME!!!!

9:38 AM  
Anonymous Paige said...

MJ, you are fabulous and funny! mess with those little bunny heads for me...don't they get heart attacks and die easily though? Thought i heard that somewhere..hmm... oh and I didn't know you were a Twilighter! Holy Crow I love you even more now!
Well, good luck with all the writing work. Don't go too crazy

oh ,abd I want a copy of Suite Scarlett!!! the borders here in town didn't have any when i went a few days ago :(

10:13 AM  
Anonymous Hannah said...

Surprisingly, I did feel better after watching that video. Where do you find this stuff?

Anyway, winning Suite Scarlett would be awesomeness.

11:55 AM  
Blogger Catherine said...

Ha ha you crack me up MJ!

12:46 AM  
Blogger *Heather* said...

Question!:

If the other authors at the Mansion put on rabbit costumes, would you use your powers against them? To steal their computers?

books are lovely. Especially ones entitled Suite Scarlett. *wink* =)

6:08 AM  
Blogger Little Willow said...

Please use your new power for good. Remember, with rabbit power comes rabbit responsibility.

As I read the part about your control over rabbits, I thought of Harvey. Then I read a little further, and there he was. I wasn't surprised.

7:58 AM  
Blogger Kategan said...

I AM SO EXCITED YOU LIKE GOGOL BORDELLO.
I am actually going to see him and Vampire Weekend on the 21st for free in Philadelphia :D. Return to the motherland. It calls for grand times.

10:23 AM  
Blogger Dave Bessom said...

Hey! I just got back from a trip to England (well, five days in London and two weeks in Scotland)! Upon arrival in London, en route to my hostel, one of the first things I happened to notice was an elderly gentleman standing at a bus-stop. He was wearing a trench coat, and staring off into the sky, as though watching for the return of that spaceship that hid behind Halley's Comet. Oh, and his dong was out, and he was peeing into the street. And, as it turns out, he was across the street from my hostel. Whee.

4:24 PM  
Anonymous Pizuzu said...

Are you having any events or signings in June? Cause my mom is taking me to NYC for my birthday, and it would be really cool if you were.

5:46 PM  
Blogger Summer said...

SUITE SCARLETT PLEASE!!!!

Maureen you are spectacular.

5:05 AM  
Blogger Shrieky said...

Book please! I wish I had been alive to go to the Berlin Wall wedding. It would have made my life.

7:36 AM  
Blogger Mego said...

hey secret sister Maureen! i just wanted to comment and say that i love Gogol Bordello a whole lot, and also i love your books! i read 13 Little Blue Envelopes in one day! it made me want to run around Europe! i can't wait to read Suite Scarlet!

8:54 AM  
Anonymous Kayli said...

Excellent post, Maureen. And I've totally stayed in that hotel. Creepy.

And I can tell that that song is going to be one of those that gets stuck in my head constantly.

11:30 AM  
Blogger lightforms said...

I learned yesterday that if you don't want to step on a sting ray, shuffle your feet! Perhaps you can apply this to rabbits! Shuffle your feet! The Rabbit Shuffle! lol, as you dart from tree to tree...

11:17 PM  
Anonymous Haley said...

My sister says that if you're going to marry a wall, it should at least be a little more elaborate than the Berlin Wall. So, control over rabbits, huh? That's a very interesting superpower. I'm sure it'll come in handy some day. Also, I would love a copy of Suite Scarlett.

1:05 AM  
Anonymous Chelsea said...

"And I said, 'I CONTROL ALL THE RABBITS.' And he said, 'I will leave you alone for a little while.'"

A wise choice indeed.

Your blog is always so entertaining. I particularly enjoyed the part about you and your dad at car dealerships. Good luck with your book. :)

3:54 AM  
OpenID ohholyhorcrux said...

That story weirded me out. Both the father/daughter "NO SEX" and the lady who loved the wall.

I was wondering, do you think other people have fixations with other objects? Could someone, perhaps, be madly in love with the curves of a desk lamp or OPI nail polish? I'm considering that I might have the latter.

8:22 PM  
Anonymous peacefultruth said...

dad prom?
oh my.
oh dear.

suite scarlett, where art thou? hopefully in the mail soon! ;)

3:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MJ i would like it better if you were to update your blog more often or else i might start to think that you were kidnapped by jk and are locked up in her basement
karozo

3:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

by the way will you put flying pirates in scarlett 2
karozo

3:45 AM  
OpenID melusina-snake said...

Omg, Gogol Bordello!! I love them. :) Star Wearing Purple is one of the best songs everrr, it always puts a smile on my face.

11:32 PM  
Anonymous Rebekah said...

I just finished Suite Scarlett today, and I'm very excited by the prospect of further adventures in the Hopewell Hotel - but does your commitment to developing it into a series mean that you'll be neglecting stand-alone books? And if so, for how long?

5:15 AM  
Blogger Meghan said...

Wow, Maureen! I clicked on the song, and I didn't realize it had opened a separate YouTube page, so I was getting stereo Gogol Bordello, which was just frightening! *goes back to listening to Mamma Mia*

Love the rabbits! Sadly, I could never do anything like that because I live in the boring land of Glendale, AZ--where it was 113 yesterday.

1:15 AM  
Blogger Travis said...

I love rabbits!

2:35 AM  
Blogger WalkingonSunshine said...

Hey MJ,

You seem to be the Pied Piper of the rabbits. Except, hopefully, you won't lead them to their deaths.

How do you find stuff like dad proms and fences as husbands? They are absolutely hilarious. I love this entry, since it is funny as anything, but also because it was posted on my birthday. It made my day so much better. Something that would make entirely special would be if I got a copy of Suite Scarlett! I have been dying to read it, since your books always make me laugh. a lot.

I would LOVE a copy! :)

11:51 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

How about me?? My library doesn't even HAVE Suite Scarlett. I am waiting for their ordered copies to come in, which I demanded. And I live in Sacramento! Big cities should have all the books!

Anyway, just read Golden Firebird, and it was terrific. Pick me!

-Myspace Chris

11:24 PM  
Blogger diana said...

i'd love a book =)

2:22 AM  
Blogger Shausto-la said...

MJ, i've got a strange feeling that those bunnies were sent for you by the zombies. you might want to watch your back.

in other news, i too would not mind getting a book. *curses mean-book-store-lady* And our library won't order Suite scarlett either..though we dont live in a large city so I guess i'll live. But a free copy is always welcome *winks*

6:38 AM  
Anonymous Jordyn said...

Maureen, you rock. So hilarious.

10:50 AM  
OpenID allmightypen said...

MJ, now I know you are someone who will take the eventual zombie attack seriously, so I must tell you about a book. An awesome book. A book called 'The Zombie Survival Guide'. I bought it. It is amazing. I now have 23 different escape and battle plans for the event that zombies do come. Here is the website. http://www.randomhouse.com/crown/zombiesurvivalguide/

Beware the zombies MJ, Beware.

8:01 AM  
Anonymous anothercommenter said...

ohhhh maureeeeen!

you said that a book went to anothercommenter today.... do i get it??

5:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i think that i need those rabbits, cuz that video kinda freaked me out ... he was saying "start wearing purple right now" right? cuz that's what i kept hearing and i was like "no way. this is so weird"

anyway, don't get too stressed out about the book ... ick, i hate finals

*Emilee

11:20 PM  
Blogger Meisha|Apocalypse™ said...

As I was reading this, I had so much to say. All of this was forgotten when at the end of the video Eugene ripped off his shirt like he was Usher or something. Thanks for that.

2:28 AM  

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