FEAR OF EVERYTHING

First of all, thank you for writing in with so much support for Susan and Bermudez. Your ideas and good thoughts have made a huge difference, and Susan has expressed her continuing support of the effort.

I’m not sure what to say about Susan’s resignation, still. To think that a librarian like Susan would give up her job after 33 years fighting for a book (which happens to be mine) is astonishing.

Several of you suggested another letter campaign. I know the last one worked to at least halt the book banning that was going on unreported and get it out into the public. But now, the committee is responding by curling into a tiny, cowardly ball and refusing to answer me. (Maybe because Janet Vernon was too busy running for President-Elect of the Middle States Association, one of the most powerful bodies in American education. Great, huh?)

I have no idea what the people on the committee are really like, day to day. All I know is that they REFUSE to tell me anything else, and that in and of itself is weird and shady . . . and yet all too familiar. To tell the entire truth, I feel kind of bad for the position they ended up in. There are quite a number of crackpot organizations out there (along with individual crackpots) who make a huge and concerted effort to take books away from you. Here’s one of the more prominent ones, which calls itself PABBIS (Parents Against Bad Books in Schools . . . you gotta love it). This little army of loonytunes wants to make sure that books like The Catcher in the Rye, One Hundred Years of Solitude, Beloved, Looking for Alaska, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Slaughterhouse Five, In Cold Blood, and The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole (along with many, many others) are immediately taken out of schools.

PABBIS has not yet gotten to The Bermudez Triangle, but I am sure this is because they just haven’t noticed it. Maybe they are too busy building bonfires or trying to contact their Home Planet.

But you know what? Just because crackpots are giving you a hard time doesn’t mean that you should rip the books from the shelves, lie your faces off, demote librarians, and curl into a fetal position when confronted.

I’m sorry you have to deal with this, guys. I really am. I’m sorry that there are so many paranoid chowderheads out there who are afraid of ideas and books and knowledge and People From Outside.

But to prevent making even more paranoid chowderheads who are afraid of books and ideas and knowledge and People From Outside . . . we need EDUCATION. We need you to protect the schools. Many Americans are getting narrower and weirder as the world is getting more and more interconnected and fabulous. That’s just not going to work. Fear of Everything is not a viable way of living*. Instead of banning books, we should be getting together and working toward new ways of saving the planet, collecting shiny things, and getting me a Vespa.

Rant over. The bottom line next step is: I need to get the committee to just tell me what they recommended. Obviously, this is a secret, and I need to crack it.

I was so busy writing about Bartlesville, that I didn’t get you all up to date on the many things I need to tell you. So let’s do that.

WHERE ARE YOU THIS WEEK? AND WHERE IS FREE MONKEY?

As of tomorrow, I’ll be in GEORGIA. Come and see me in Decatur at Little Shop of Stories on Tuesday at 6:30. You can also see me at the Alpharetta Barnes and Noble on Thursday at 6:00. If you know people in Georgia, get them out there! (Especially if they make peach pie. I would really like some peach pie.)

I will otherwise be at the home of Betty Vox, writing away. Betty has three dogs, so I will have lots of furry company.

As for FREE MONKEY, he’s left for his World Tour! At least, the American leg. (International tour friends—your letters are coming soon.) His first stop is in Los Angeles to visit YA superblogger Little Willow. As soon as I have a report from him, it will be posted here!

YOU SAID YOU HAD NEWS. WHAT IS THIS NEWS YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO TELL US?

There are actually two things.

The first is about the Extremely New Book That Is Not Girl At Sea . . . in other words, the one I am writing. There have been many developments on this front.

Like I have said before, I love all my books, but I am REALLY, DEEPLY EXCITED about this one. This is my first book for Scholastic. (True story: when my deal was being negotiated, I requested that a line be written in saying that I would get a copy of Harry Potter VII immediately upon release.)

First, it officially has a title. It is called Suite Scarlett (the original title was Empire Suite), and it will be coming out in May, ’08. I am about to start a major revision on it. The cover was shot the other day. I had unprecedented input into the process this time, and guess what? THERE WILL BE NO HEADLESS GIRL. I’ve seen the sketches, the location, and the model. The location was carefully chosen to reflect the setting of the book, which is an Art Deco hotel in New York.

This is all very, very good.

Most of this summer will be spent finishing Suite Scarlett, so expect lots of posts about writing again.

The other very exciting piece of news that just happened is that I will be collaborating on a holiday book with John Green and the amazing Lauren Myracle. John and I have been talking about this a lot, but we couldn’t say anything until it was all a done deal. And now it is. It will be coming out for the holidays in ’08. I’m obviously thrilled to be working with someone like Lauren, and to get to work with my fake brother John.

GIVING AWAY OF THINGS

Last week, I promised to give away a book to whoever would make an internet fuss over Girl At Sea. A book is going out to first responder Katie Jarzombek, who dropped everything and went to her blog.

Meanwhile, if you requested a Girl At Sea card and it hasn’t come yet, it should be appearing pretty much any second. I’m signing cards until the end of June (or until I run out of cards, or just fall over at my desk with a loud THUMP), so if you want one, write in and let me know!

I said before that I was in a book-giving mood. I was just reading through the comments, when I saw this:

jas said...
I'm a little broke right now, and I haven't had time to go to a bookstore, so I'm patiently waiting for my chance to win a book. I'm horrible with computer stuff, so I didn't even risk trying to "do something viral," 'cause I probably would have shorted out half the city (at best) or ended up advertising your novels as horrible (at worst). It wouldn't have been pretty. So, could you please do something for us peoples who aren't all technologically inclined? So I don't end up eating my own foot.
Can't wait to read it, though.

YOUR TIME HAS COME, JAS! Send me an address! You’re getting a book!

See? You never know what’s going to happen!

I have many cool things from BEA, including these special HARRY POTTER VII BAGS. Based on what Jas has written here, I am trying to think of an exciting way to give away these bags, and more Girl At Seas. Less technological people—ideas?

I will attempt to write the MJ LIST OF THINGS TO BE AFRAID OF IN THE SUMMERTIME in the airport or the plane tomorrow.

Also, as a followup to my previous post about my difficult relationship with shoes. Many of you were extremely disturbed by the fact that I don't like to shoe shop. Well, for all of you, today I bought TWO PAIR. Here they are, for your viewing pleasure. I love them both. This is enough of an accomplishment to merit a photo. Who knows? Next, maybe I'll cut my own food! Who can say?



I kan has shuz?



* Fear of Stuff On My List extremely sensible, though.