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Thursday, November 13, 2008


I had a problem with my bathtub the other day. I usually get along well with my bathtub, which is from the 1930s, and extremely massive, and good at the task of hold water. These are excellent qualities in a tub! But the other day it decided it was going to hold water and NEVER, EVER LET IT GO. It wanted to be with this water forever.

My tub, because it is from the 1930s, is kind of weird. The stopper is this odd little contraption that sits outside of the tub. It looks like a little periscope that comes out of the floor, and you toggle it up or down, depending on what you want the water to do. I toggled and toggled and toggled, but the water remained. I poured drain opener into the tub. I did everything I could possibly think of, but I finally accepted that my tub was broken.

So I called my building supervisor to ask what could be done. He attempted to talk me through a repair. See, inside of the toggley-toggely thing is a thin rod that lifts and drops the stopper. It’s just a stopper on a stick, basically. So he had me pull this out and look at it.

And he said, “What does it look like on the other side?”

I looked at the rod.

“You mean on the bottom half?” I asked.

“No,” he said patiently, as if I was very, very stupid, “the other side.”

I looked at the rod some more. A rod is a stick. And a stick only has one side. Oh, sure, I mean technically there is some other side of a stick. There are probably INFINITE sides to a stick. But when you are dealing with something that thin, for all practical purposes it has one side—the stick side. Every way you look at it, you look at it from the stick side.*

So I explained that I could not follow this logic, because this stick was, from all perspectives, profoundly sticklike and there was no other side to talk about. This conversation went around and around for ten minutes, until I didn’t care anymore. I was worn and broken inside and fairly committed to seeing if I could climb into the kitchen sink for all of my future bathing needs. I was undone by this stick business.

Which brings me to unicorns.

I’m sure most of you by this point are aware of the zombie versus unicorn debate that RAGES ON online. The debate started in February 2007, between Justine Larbalestier and Holly Black. (Many people think that John Green started this. He did not. He later joined the discussion, as did I, both on the righteous side of zombies. But the whole thing started with Justine (zombies) and Holly (unicorns). This is the only known instance in which Holly Black has been wrong. You can read the history of the debate here and here and here and here. Credit for this great battle must be given where it is due.)

You probably thought this was over and everyone had accepted that zombies rule and unicorns are useless, but apparently not. There are still some people who think that unicorns have merit.

But of course, they do not. Unicorns are just stick-headed horses. Like the stick, they lack dimension.

Right now, some maniac, probably a maniac in lederhosen with lunchmeat on his head, is yelling, “It’s not a STICK! It’s a HORN!”

Listen up, my leather-shorted, meat-hatted friend . . . I would give unicorns the time of day if that “horn” was a good kind of horn, like this:

With that horn, I would welcome the unicorn and say, “Come here, little unicorn, have this bag of warm roughage.”

But no. In terms of head-ornaments, unicorns fall squarely into the stick category, even though the horns are technically cones . . . which is a statement that presents a number of geometrical challenges, I know, but we really need to move on and call a stick a stick.** (Or a CORN. Why don’t we call it a CORN, since they are unicorns?)

“But,” I have heard people say, “unicorns represented purity and chastity in the olden days! Therefore we should like them!”

The olden days? Like when you could sell a young girl to an old man to be his bride for three goats, a pound of flour, and some red cloth? You mean the olden days when they used to burn people for being witches? The olden days, when they would cover you in leeches whenever you sneezed? The olden days, when rats ruled the earth, and the ages are simply referred to as “dark”? ALL THE IDEAS THEN WERE BAD.

Good medicine from the unicorn days.

“What do you know?” some other random maniac asks. “Did you research this?”

No, I didn’t, and I don’t need to! Because what could be less useful than a stick on the head? What's there to research? Why don’t unicorns have something on their heads people would actually want, like a sandwich press, or a tire jack, or a nail file? Anything but a stick.

“So,” says the nay-sayer (there are obviously a lot of people out today who want to get involved in this discussion), “what’s so great about zombies, anyway?”

What ISN’T great about zombies is the real question!

But since I must start somewhere, I will say this: zombies are overachievers. As Simon Pegg wrote in his recent, brilliant article on zombies (which should be required reading for everyone, everywhere): “Death is a disability, not a superpower. It's hard to run with a cold, let alone the most debilitating malady of them all.”

This is part of his exquisite explanation of why zombies must be slow. It also explains why zombies are awesome. THEY ARE DEAD. But does that stop them? No, a thousand times no! They battle on against the ultimate case of the Mondays. You hit them? They get up! Kneecap them, shoot them, run them over with a car, and these precious creatures get right back up, because they are CHAMPIONS.

If only we could be more like zombies! We, who suffer daily the thousands of indignities of being alive, who have broken bathtubs and bad hair and sniffles and deadlines . . . we must keep getting back up, as our zombie friends do!

And why do the zombies shamble after us? Because they love us, is why. They want to hang with us. They want to be part of us. Sure, they express love by ripping you to bits and eating your insides, but who is to say that is completely wrong? Maybe it is just more love than we can handle, and whose fault is that?

And who has a greater appreciation of brains than zombies? No one. In fact, the only way you can stop a zombie is by destroying its head. It is as if the zombie is saying, “Without my thoughts, which are admittedly pretty simple, I am nothing.”

Zombies are also COMMUNICATORS, speaking in the universal language of grunts, moans, and hand gestures. When a zombie speaks, everyone understands. Zombies promote global unity and show that we are one people, and that we are all full of tasty insides.

Also, unlike zombies, unicorns are not real.

When will this battle end? How can we resolve our differences and get everyone on the right side of this argument?

Have thoughts? Leave them below. If they are pro-zombie, then they will be welcomed by all and you will be hailed as a hero of the people. If they are pro-unicorn, well . . . if you want to make a laughing stock of yourself and contribute the overall count of WRONG THINGS on the internet, I suppose you cannot be stopped. CHOOSE WISELY.

Also, enjoy this beautiful video made by Lauren Myracle, which features me and John Green! Just skip the opening and the end! Damn it feels good to be a ZOMBIE!

*Shut up, math majors, engineers, and science geeks, shut up shut up shut up. I know you want to say something here about the theoretical (or not-so-theoretical) possibilities of the sides of a cylinder, but you just have to fight that urge, do you hear me? FIGHT IT! Repeat after me: THERE IS ONLY ONE SIDE TO A STICK. I know you feel better.

**See above note for your reaction cues.

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Blogger Unknown said...

I have to agree with the whole zombie debate.
I just have one question.
Have you done the scareathon yet?

1:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the last video, but your zombies are far too animated. They should be shuddering and drooling, and would definitely not have the capacity or inclination to dance. Thye should go eat some brains.

1:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Zombies rule.

End of story.

1:47 AM  
Blogger Nadia Murti said...

Zombies rule!!! To all you unicorn lovers, I'm sure that the zombies will come back to this when they take over the world. They will really show the love then.
Again, Zombies Rule, Unicorns would drool, if they were the slightest bit real.


2:13 AM  
Blogger Me said...

I am sorry Maureen.
You are awesome.
I would normally say that there is no end to your awesomeness.
But. . .
I discovered the end.
All things must have an end, I suppose. . . Nothing can be infinatly awesome. . .
The end of you awesomeness is that you prefer zombies.
I am sorry.
You are still awesome.
Your awesomeness just has a limit.

2:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

psh. zombies are awesome. no doubt about it.

3:20 AM  
Blogger Khy said...

Yay zombies!

3:25 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

My sentiments EXACTLY.

A few YA for Obama members were arguing about this the other day, and I was the ONLY ONE on Team Zombie. Can you IMAGINE? So much awesome in one place, but SO LITTLE ZOMBIE LOVE. It made me sad.

I quite enjoy the footnotes, by the way. They made me giggle very much. :)

3:58 AM  
Blogger Miriam Forster said...

Today I will be brave...

Unicorns rule! Unicorns are not-one dimensional, they can do all kinds of things. If you want airhead, pretty unicorns,you can have them. If you want cool red unicorns that fly, you can have those too. If you want wild, black unicorns that spear people through with their sharp deadly horns, go right ahead.

Unicorns are flexible.

Zombies? Not so much. Zombies shuffle and moan and drop bits of themselves. That's it. They're kind of a one-trick pony, really.

Besides, in a fight, unicorns would totally win.

4:03 AM  
Blogger kaireky said...

Zombies are most obviously better than unicorns. And why don't we call those sticks on their heads corns? That's never made any sense to me.

5:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

one of those zombies looked like a kid in my math class.

5:31 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

But Maureen! What of Charlie the Unicorn?! I love-and-fear zombies just as much as you, but doesn't Charlie break your argument a little-tiny-bit?

Answer me quickly! My faith in zombihood is being shaken!

7:58 AM  
Blogger lightforms said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:57 AM  
Blogger lightforms said...

Wow, how can so many people be so wrong? It is the pegasus that is the true winner. What relationship a Pegasus has to a Unicorn, I don't know. I bet zombies stink though.

8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The ages were only really 'dark' in Europe, you know. The Arabic Empire was very scholarly-they found out the difference between smallpox and measles and how the eye worked...I'm not necessarily defending the unicorns, I'm just saying that the 'olden days' weren't all that bad-what about if there are Arabian unicorns..?

9:40 AM  
Blogger Tiff @ Mostly YA Lit said...

Maureen, you know how much I love you. I e-mailed you when I was moving to New York, to have coffee. I wrote you before your blog existed, when 13 Little Blue Envelopes was still a hardcover, and I picked it up in the bookstore 'cause it looked cool, but thought to myself, "It's too expensive, I'll just read some of it in the store to see how I like it." Well, I ended up reading half of it in the store and buying it, running home, and reading the rest of it, then lending it to a bunch of friends to read, then going out and buying all your other books, waiting impatiently for the new releases, and running out to buy all of those, too. So you know how hard it is for me to say this.

But I have to say it. You're WRONG. How can someone I love so much be SO WRONG? Unicorns are beautiful, versatile creatures that have a long history as both kind, gentle creatures, and the fierce, awesome creatures that Diana writes of. Your logic is flawed when you try to redirect our attention to the fact that lots of things in the "olden days" were flawed--just because they were, doesn't mean that unicorns are. That is a classic logic trap. Do you hate all things from the olden days, including literature? Is that what you're saying? Because the novel writing tradition? It spans from those olden days, and you, as a writer, are a part of that. Ha!

Also, I'm not a fan of zombies. I think they're fine, but they are not historically endowed with awesomeness like unicorns. That said, can't we all just get along? Can't we love both unicorns and zombies?

This got very long. But I felt the need to defend Diana, as she's sick.

Also, by the way, I loved "Let It Snow." All of it. Adorable characters--really got me in the Christmas mood. Despite John Green's and your preference for zombies. =)

6:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am on neither side. I beleive that both zombies and unicorns are usefull in their own unique ways. And depending on what you want them for, one can be better or worse.
Though at this EXACT moment i woudl have to say I'm liking zombies a little bit more. You are a very convincing person.

6:55 PM  
Blogger ROSIE!!!!!!!!! said...

i refuse to take sides in this argument! u john and lauren are all my author buddies so I am declaring myself switzerland! the land of neutralness and good choclate!

7:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But what of unicorns who happen to also be zombies? No one seems to have addressed this very important question.

7:46 PM  
Blogger Sarah Woodard said...

I like Unicorns. I had a horse when I was little and I felt that it needed a horn.
I like Zombies, too. So I am not taking sides.

10:24 PM  
Blogger Diana Peterfreund said...

Anonymous, there were arabian unicorns. They were called karkadanns, "the lord of the desert" and they were awesome maneaters. Alexander the Great had one as a warhorse.

10:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This battle is tearing me apart inside.

What can I say? Period of darkness, polar night, what ever you call it... It is DARK here, no vitamin D anywhere. All the unicorns I have seen emit light. That sounds nice. Very, very nice.

But that is only the seasonal affective disorder speaking.

I don't trust unicorns. They are too pure, if you know what I mean. Like friendly politicians. The ones who seem the most innocent are the ones who conceal the most.

If we let unicorns gain power, well, we would be eaten. By the unicorns. Don't you see what a perfect tool the forehead stick is for human eating? It is their version of a fork. They love the taste of a human. They love it so much that they can't settle for just a few, no, they want us all. That's why they want us to believe the "we are only hear to make the world a happy place" act. To get close enough to destroy the mankind, or as they call it, have dinner.

Maybe zombies are creepy and rotten and want our brains, but what is a few lost brains compared to the massacre the unicorns are planning inside their oversized heads? At least zombies are open about their intentions.

But maybe the unicorns could come here for a few months, to emit light and stuff. Like, to wait for the victory of the zombies.

12:45 AM  
Blogger Connie Onnie said...

My friend just emailed me a link to this blog to read this very funny post. What I found even funnier was that I had just read this blog http://www.dianapeterfreund.com/sick-and-sickos/
And I would have to say I agree with Diana on this one.

1:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cannot decide upon either Zombies or Unicorns. So I am going to go with VAMPIRES!!!!

1:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unicorns are much better than zombies. Their horn is not useless. It can be used to defend themselves. Defend themselves against the zombies! Zombies are supposed to kill everything, but I have never seen a unicorn killed by a zombie!
But anyway, this debate ignores a very important demographic: the zombie unicorns.

6:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I'm going to have to side with Lauren Myracle & co; her video argument was very convincing and made of win.

Sorry Maureen.

12:04 PM  
Blogger digressica said...

I'm not sure if you know this already, but Simon Pegg's piece about why zombies should never run was written in response to the new UK television series Dead Set, about a Zombie invasion of Britain from the perspective of a bunch of Big Brother housemates (who don't realise Zombies have invaded Britain because... they're in the Big Brother house. Hilarity and carnage ensue...), written by the brilliant Guardian columnist and Super TV Expert Brain Charlie Brooker. Charlie defended his decision to make his zombies run here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/nov/10/barack-obama-zombies-running (in the second half of the column - the first half is all about Obama, which I'm sure you'll also enjoy), and you can watch the trailer for Dead Set here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQjq639WPiU

(Sorry if you already knew all of this.)

7:43 PM  
Blogger notemily said...

okay, but what happened to your bathtub? what did he mean by the other side of the stick? I MUST know!

8:39 PM  
Blogger lauren myracle said...


He didn't mean the other side of the stick. He meant the other side of the drain, where, had you the sense to look, you would have seen a bloodless smelly zombie giggling and snorkling and wonking up your pipes.

A unicorn? Well, a unicorn could unplug your pipe with one swift, pure jab.

Clearly, my dear, you need a good unicorn.

9:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But what happened to your bathtub?

Was it clogged with a unicorn horn?

10:51 PM  
Blogger ROSIE!!!!!!!!! said...

seriously, both zombies and unicorns have their good qualaties. Zombies are a metaphor for us to get up when we get knocked down and keep moanin' thru life. And unicorns are very flexiable, they can have wings, or you can make them black with bule tails!

1:35 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I am not sure where I found this.. You may have seenit before, I may even have found it on your blog. But you should read it, Maureen. Read it good.

3:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Clearly Unicorns are much better than zombies. Unicorns dont represent "purity and chastity in the olden days!" blah, blah, blah... Unicorns rule because they are happy, majestic, beautiful horses, with awesome decoration on their head. They represent ulitimate girldom. The time in a little girls life where their best friend is a unicorn. They represent the goodness and childlike tendencies inside us UNLIKE zombies which make us want to scream and run the other way!!!
"Oh look, a zombie! Everybody scream and run in circles!"
"Ooh, a unicorn. Lets befriend it!"

6:45 AM  
Blogger Nadia Murti said...

Julia Rios, very good point.

Zombie Unicorns rule!

But if they don't exist, then I still go zombies.

7:17 AM  
Blogger Kaitlyn said...

Zombies Rule. Unicorns are lame. They aren't even real creatures. Gosh there is a reason they are called mythical.

8:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Unicorns scare the pee pee out of me. I'd take a zombie any day. In fact, zombies walk on a regular basis here in Kansas City and they do it for charity!


Take that, horned devils!

4:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know if someone has said this yet, but what about UNICORN ZOMBIES.
I am a big fan of compromise.

11:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your zombie argument is very convincing. It's true, who else dies and then gets right back up again? Only zombies!

Though there is one thing unicorns have going for them that zombies do not: They are pretty.

While unicorns are white and beautiful and often have rainbow colors swirled into the 'sticks' on their foreheads, zombies aren't very nice to look at. Usually their bodies have decayed and they have brains sticking out and don't smell very good.

But, who am I to be superficial?

Zombies FTW!

(Can I still love actually horses, though? They're very useful. For getting places. And what about Pegasuses? They can FLY!)

3:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In the fight between zombies and unicorns, it's obvious who the real winner is. Edward Cullen.

4:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've actually been pretty freaked out about unicorns ever since I realized that their horns are pretty poky and since they're pretty poky they could hurt you, as in stab you right through the eye or something. And sure they may look sweet and all, but they are pure evil.
And what is the point of their mighty stick anyway (besides puncturing helpless people through the eyes???)

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Um, Maureen, as an author, shouldn't you be sticking up for the beauty of the English language? And while many unicorns talk, I've never seen a talking zombie. (Sorry, but "must... have... brains..." doesn't count.)

1:05 AM  
Blogger angela said...


hmm. unicorns would have been an amazing topic for your scareathon video-thang. dress up as a unicorn and prance around times square. something like that.

1:42 AM  
Blogger SalT said...

OMG - I dreamt about Zombies last night! I was sitting on a park bench somewhere, in a row of Zombies, who keep wanting me to look at them while they did creepy stuff on cue, like rot their skin or have their eyeballs pop out, or slowly vomit worms and maggots, kind of like that girl in The Sixth Sense, played by Mischa Barton. It was horrifying.

Sorry MJ, but the woos in me would like to believe that unicorns would be rather than Zombies, who are in no way pleasant from my experience.

Not to open a can of worms, (ew - I really shouldn't be thinking about worms again...), but you know what would be great to be real is a pegasus! Or that flying dog from Never Ending Story!

5:27 AM  
Blogger SalT said...

PS. Sorry for that ridiculously long sentence - was a speed-thought, no time for punctuation!

5:28 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Apparently I am not allowed to speak. I am both pro-unicorn and a math majors. :(
How can you not suport the unicorns! They are soooo pretty, and they smell better. The horse smell is so much better than the corpse smell. :)

10:52 PM  
Blogger Nadia Murti said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i beg of you to make another post of writing.. i'm far behind with my novel..and very lost.

please! i need motivation/inspiration!

7:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My question is: how did you like the Twilight movie? Personally, I thought Robert Pattinson was a little awkward from time to time, and the forest/meadow scene sucked, but the rest of the movie was pretty good! I all the actors who played Alice and Charlie and EMMETT and JASPER and Rosalie and Mike! They were all soooo awesome! <3 Another question is: what exactly did you do for the scare a thon thing with Lauren Myracle?

7:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My Question: Muareen how do you feel about the world ending in 2012? Oh ya, and the Twilight movie, did you like it? I did, I'm seeing it again tuesday. :D

6:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm doing a project for school about people under 18 who got involved in this year's election. Since my inspiration comes directly from YA for Obama, I thought I'd go right to the source. So, my question is:
What inspired you to create YA for Obama, and why do you think it is important for teenagers to care about/be involved in politics?

11:18 PM  
Blogger ROSIE!!!!!!!!! said...

Did you like who they cast as Edward in the twilight movie? What are your thoughts on the movie in general?

2:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Maureen,

First, I wanted to let you know I met Spenser (From "Suite Scarlett") about two weeks ago, here in England. He was just strolling down the road, bowling pins tucked under one arm, juggling one handed with the other. Though, he lied, and said his name was Rob. And also that he was a maths major at Oxford University. Still. I just wanted to let you know.

Second, Zombies of course are amazing. My best friend and I had to explain this to her boyfriend, who alas, thought we were insane.

Third, question: As Twilight does not come out in England for at least another 6 weeks, I cannot ask any twilight questions. Nor do I want to ruin the surprise for myself :). However, my question is, as I am new to living in England (been here a little over 2 months), how do you adjust from saying pants in America to saying trousers in England? Because I have still not managed, and every time I say pants people look at me, utterly horrified.

Becky lost in England

4:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is that ring you always wear on your right hand? It's very pretty.

7:53 AM  
Blogger appletrain said...


12:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Although you do have many great points, I still think I'm pro-unicorn. Yes, unicorns have sticks on there heads, but they are also beautiful creatures. They have many magical properties, which are all used for the good of all living beings. They are so kind and gentle.
Zombies are cool. Zombies are brave, Zombies just want affection.
But unicorns are also. And the 'stick' on their head is for protection against anti-unicorn, pro-zombie people who want to hurt them.
Unicorns are incredible, okay.

2:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you ask us if we need advice. i really really do. and you are female.

i have cramps from HELL. like i cannot move. chocolate doesn't help. medicine doesn't help. i am dying here. what can i do?

4:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know in Bermudez it seems like you think falling in love with and dating your best friend is a bad idea. Do you think it always has to turn out like that?

8:03 PM  
Blogger Rebecca Faria said...


I assessed both my current and former apartments for their survivability potential should Halifax be overrun with the shambling undead. The new place is less well-equipped, but better maintained overall, so I'm a goner but I'll be sane and healthy until then. This is acceptable to me.

Also, there are gravesites in town from the Titanic disaster. On slow days at work I daydream about Titanic Zombies.

I confess to working on a soundtrack/mixtape for my hobby. So far, I've co-opted My Heart Will Go On, The Mary Ellen Carter, and Rise Again. I'm open to suggestions.

4:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are right about many things, Ms Maureen Johnson, but you are sadly mistaken about zombies/unicorns.
Let us look at this logically. When have you ever heard of people being against destroying zombies? Very, very rarely. Have your many encounters with JK Rowling taught you nothing? Harry Potter's Hagrid taught the WHOLE WORLD that it is a VERY BAD THING to kill a unicorn. I mean, Voldie/Quirrel drank a poor little unicorn's blood. Aside from the fact that he has an extremely catchy tune/themesong (Voldie, Voldie, Voldie, Voldemort), Voldemort is BAD. Look at the facts: Voldemort is a person/close enough to a person (yes, I know there was that whole issue with the Horcruxes but you know, he was a person once. Close enough). Voldemort killed a unicorn. Voldemort is bad. Therefore, if a person kills a unicorn, the person is bad.
And my logic is never faulty. NEVER.
(You know what, all of you mathmaticians can just BE QUIET. Just DON'T. I am right, you are wrong. ACCEPT IT and MOVE ON. Thanks.)
So basically, if zombies were real (which they are not), they would be SOOO not as cool as unicorns, which are EXTREMELY real.

3:07 AM  
Blogger laurasaur said...

I have to say I am neutral to this zombie vs. unicorn debate/war. Unicorns are alive. Zombies are undead. It is hard to compare the two. They both have their good and bad traits. Unicorns have wierd stick things on their head, but they are magical so it works out. Zombies eat people, but they make you laugh with their funny sounds and little shuffley movements while they are chasing you. Don't be mean to unicorns because they don't make you laugh...What if there was a zombie unicorn? That would be a wonderful combination of to fascinating creatures.

My question is:
What is undead really? You would think it would be the oppisite of dead, wouldn't you? Then it would mean alive... I do not understand at all.

9:06 AM  
Blogger Bad Christmas Music said...

"Why don’t we call it a CORN, since they are unicorns?)"

We do, just not in English. Corn (and variants: cor, corno, etc.) is the word for horn in many languages. Just ask any french horn player (or Bad Christmas Musician impersonating a french horn player)

11:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is how i decided what side i was on:

Zombies are evil, horrific creatures from beyond the grave that want to kill us.
Unicorns suck.

I went with the flesh-eating maniacs.

1:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with Miriam Forester. Unicorns are flexible. anyone who says they are not, has clearly never met a unicorn.
Oh, and their sticks are not called "corns" because the word unicorn comes from Roman roots. "uni" means "one" and "corn" means "horn". why they don't just call them "unihorns" is beyond me. Maybe it is just because unicorn sounds a little better.
But really, unicorns are magical creatures that bring happiness and delight, as well as death, and sometimes, a good joke. whereas zombies only bring death. because they are not flexible. They are just undead. and smelly. unlike unicorns who smell amazing.

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should get shirts that look like those Team Edward and Team Jacob shirts, except instead, Team Unicorn and Team Zombie (Team Zombie being the better, of course). I'd buy one.

7:32 PM  
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