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Thursday, January 01, 2009


Happy New Year, friends! I hope you had a great New Year’s Eve. New Year’s Eve tends to be one of those events that has a HUGE build up, but actually turns out to be a.) freezing cold and b.) best summarized like this:

Mine New Year’s Eve was very enjoyable . . . and I met a BLACKSMITH! A female BLACKSMITH! (I’m in England right now, which explains it. This would never happen in New York. No one has a FORGE in the city.) It was pretty excellent. So we had champagne and we talked about tools. I own a toolbox, but there’s nothing very exciting in it. Even my drill is tiny and pink and powered by 4 AA batteries.

The blacksmith told me about all sorts of wonderful things, and after we were done, I had resolution number one all ready to go . . .

#1 Get chainsaw

While her tales of the power hammer were pretty great, I have decided I need a chainsaw more than I need anything else in 2009. You may be wondering what I am going to do with a chainsaw in the middle of New York City. To which I would reply, “What CAN’T I do with a chainsaw in the middle of New York City?!”

I feel that once I have my chainsaw, everything else will be a little bit easier. Meetings will go more smoothly. I will get better service. Traffic will move faster. The answer is, and always has been: chainsaw.

#2 Fix economy

2008 will go down in history as the year that all the money broke—the hangover of an orgy of greed, incompetence, deregulation, and flat-out stupidity. We all watched in amazement as money simply . . . melted. We were reminded what a flimsy concept money is in the first place.

Anyway, SOMEONE has to do something. I first thought that maybe Fred and Sharon could help:

But if you want something done right, you can only do it yourself. So that’s on my list. And since I’ll have a chainsaw, I figure this can’t be too hard. I'll budget a week for that.

#3 Finish repairs on the Large Hadron Collider, the world’s largest and highest-energy particle accelerator

As you probably have guessed, I am a driving force behind the construction of the 17 mile supercollider in Switzerland. My original concept was to have all of the members of Abba collide at 99.9999% the speed of light, almost certainly producing a song greater than Dancing Queen.

My idea was then hijacked by a bunch of scientists, who want to produce a Higgs boson, some kind of fancy particle, which will essentially recreate the conditions that were present less than a billionth of a second after the Big Bang. Also, it may possibly produce some small black holes and something called strangelets, which are either dark matter particles or the title of a new album by 80s emo princes, The Smiths.

Obviously, my idea is better.

So we’re sitting there, eating some chocolate and cheese, and I say, “Listen guys, what does the world need more? Proof of the Standard Model, or Abba’s first single since 1983?” And the scientists nodded. One of them started humming “Waterloo,” which I took as a good sign. But then they went right back to talking about spinning their particles.

Anyway, the thing broke, which buys me a bit more time to pitch my idea again. Failing that, I am simply going to break into the place once we get it fixed, brining all four members of Abba with me. I am certain that Benny, Bjorn, Anna-Frid, and Agantha will willingly be spun around 17 miles of circular tunnel, 570 feet below Geneva, at 99.9999% the speed of light. Seriously, they will be going so fast, they won’t even notice the collision. I postulate that we will create a DISCO SUPERNOVA, or possibly a new, disco ball-shaped planet.

#4 Find home for the Abba Museum

God, what DIDN’T break in 2008? In perhaps what was the most devastating blow, plans for the Abba Museum in Stockholm went completely haywire. The museum lost its location, and now there is NO SCHEDULED DATE for its opening. HORROR.

On the bright side, this frees up some time for Abba to get spun around the supercollider. On the downside, WHERE ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GO TO SEE THE KARATE OUTFITS FROM THE 1976 WORLD TOUR? Where can I go to MEET MY PEOPLE, fellow lovers of Sweden’s greatest musicians? No, a sing-a-long screening of Mamma Mia is not enough. We need a temple.

I have written to the museum keepers to let them know that they are welcome to store the collection in my house in the meantime, and that I will allow people in seven days a week. They haven’t replied yet, but I figure this is because they are busy putting everything into boxes to send to me.

#5 Bring back Cookie O’Puss

When I was a tiny mj, the ice cream chain Carvel used to have a series of ice cream cakes, which they would relentlessly pimp on our local television stations. The Carvel ice cream cake family included Fudgie the Whale, the Tie Cake, and C.P. (the “celestial person”), which was some kind of alien shaped like a light bulb with an ice cream cone for a nose. None of this made a lot of sense, even to a five year old who didn’t care what it was as long as it was MADE OF ICE CREAM. Carvel could have sold cakes in the shape of giant rats, or guillotines, or Paul Revere’s etching of the Boston Massacre, and I wouldn’t have cared. As long as they all had that delicious vein of chocolate crumble between two flavors of soft serve, I would eat it.

But even I remember slightly questioning Cookie O’Puss. Which was especially odd, because he was GREEN, which suggested a high probably of MINT ice cream, which is my lifelong favorite. Cookie O’Puss was the friend of C.P., the alien with the ice cream cone for a nose. That he was an Irish alien with a slight Brooklyn accent made it all the stranger.

Cookie O’Puss made me nervous. But then LOTS of things made me nervous when I was four years old. Kiss dolls. The band Queen. Teenage boys who talked about dragons. That fourth grade girl in my cab who tormented my friend.

I should explain that I went to Kindergarten in a cab every day. This was because there were only four people in my area going to my school, so the district thought it would be more cost-effective to hire out a station wagon from the local cab company. The local cab company was staffed entirely by a crew of burned out Hell’s Angels that hung out at a place called Phil’s, which was essentially a biker bar.

So on the first day of Kindergarten, my mother put me, her tiny mj, into a maroon station wagon driven by an ENORMOUS HELL'S ANGEL named Mr. Jimbo. Years later she confessed the terror that she felt on that first day . . . but Mr. Jimbo liked kids, and he drove well, so she grew to accept it, and to like it. It turns out that large, bearded, tattooed, leather-vested bikers are EXACTLY who you want shepherding your tiny children. No one messes with Mr. Jimbo or his little charges.

Anyway, there was this girl named Danielle who was, as I remember it, Satan’s very own spider monkey, and her #1 occupation was tormenting people smaller than her. I was a very meek child, but things must have built to a head. She was bothering us Kindergarteners relentlessly one day and I just went POW with my enormous lunchbox. (Which was plastic, and heavy, and had a pair of shoes in it, because I had to change my shoes once I got to school for some reason. The shoes fit perfectly into the place where the thermos was supposed to go, so every single day of Kindergarten, I got: "What are you having for lunch, Maureen? SHOES?” At first, this made me very upset, but after the first three months or so, I started to reply, “YES. I AM HAVING SHOES FOR LUNCH.” This is when I learned that Kindergarteners do not excel at multiple rounds of verbal jousting, and generally had no idea where to go from there. They might manage a “Ew, gross.” But by that point, the barb had lost its sting, and they knew it.)

Anyway, Danielle was perpetrating some form of evil on my friend, and I was just mad as hell and couldn’t take it anymore, and down came the lunchbox. This shocked EVERYONE, such was my gentle and meek nature. In fact, I didn’t even get in trouble, because my teacher said, “If Maureen hit her with a lunchbox, it must have been pretty bad.”

Which was SCORE FOR ME, except we then found out that Danielle had recently had brain surgery.

We kind of got along after that, but it was a delicate détente. She gave me a weird looking elephant she’d made of masking tape, which also made me nervous, because it was so freaky looking. I hid it in a drawer, because I was too afraid of it to get rid of it.

Anyway, Cookie O’Puss was just one item on a long list of concerns. But I still WANTED ONE. And I think 2009 is the year they should come back.

#6 Mo Better Blogs

More blogs. More stuff. All the time. 2009 is the year I plan to make you truly sick of me.

#7 Write some books

Which will include Suite Scarlett three, and A BOOK I CAN'T TELL YOU ABOUT YET.

This list is sort of rough, and I’d like to improve on it. So if you have any ideas, please let me know.

And now, let me give out a SIGNED BOOK to a random commenter from the last post. And that random commenter is Cat, who spread Cheer by volunteering at a homeless shelter over the holidays. Cat, send me your address!

For now, that is the end of the book giveaway. And I say FOR NOW, because there will ALWAYS be times in the future that I give away some books. You never know when it can happen.

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Blogger Kat said...

hahaha MJ, good resolutions

11:37 PM  
Blogger Mitali said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:43 PM  
Blogger Mitsie Did A Number On You :) said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:46 PM  
Blogger Mitsie Did A Number On You :) said...

1) We can never be truly sick of you
2)A chainsaw will get you anything anywhere :P
3)PLease please please fix the economy :P
4)Keep writing books
I need them like i need O2

11:46 PM  
Blogger kaitlynn said...

lol "what CAN'T you do with a chainsaw?!" nice :]

i totally agree on the chainsaw being the solution to problems.

check out my twitter:

and my blog:

please comment! thanks!



11:47 PM  
Anonymous Sarah Saville said...

I think that finding a location for the ABBA museum should be your top priority this year.
I mean, the house is JUST STADING THERE. The extra building they had started is just a bunch of steel squares at the moment.
It's pretty sad.
They should just keep doing what they started with and build us that museum!!
It would really brighten up the sad, sad, SAD place that lies between Londonviadukten and Slussen.

^^, Sarah and an angry penguin

11:50 PM  
Blogger Nadia said...

those are great resolutions, Maureen! if you find a location for the ABBA museum, lemme know!!! I've love to see that as well :)

11:52 PM  
Anonymous Hilary said...

What CAN'T you do with a chainsaw, period? Tis the best.

Thanks for the laughs (AGAIN) MJ.

PS- My library/book-stores suck and don't have nay of your books besides the two I've read. ANGRY FISTS!

12:19 AM  
Anonymous Devyn said...

You can never stop the CHEER!

12:37 AM  
Blogger angela said...

1-Pink Vespas and chainsaws are the world's future.
2-I shall do anything I can to help you fix the economy. Me helping basically consists of prank calling Fred and Sharon over and over and over and over again.
3-I will help you!That includes rounding up Abba,forcing them to watch Mamma Mia over and over again until they're sick of their own songs, but they will NEVER get sick of them because they're ABBA! so that's when the spinning will start. WHY?! you may ask. BECAUSE, I will answer; they will be distracted. DUHH.
4-I think a little island in Greece should do it. Yes, Abba was Swedish. But Mamma Mia basis location was"the little island" in Greece...is it possible there is land co-owned by Sweden and Greece? If not there WILL be and then THAT is where the Abba Museum will build itself in it wonderfulness.
5-One phrase/question/sentence/fragment/inquistion.
WHAT is better then ice cream from Ireland from New York from Outer Space made by Carvel?
6- That's what I thought. NOTHING.
7-I think there needs to be a revision of the Things MJ is aScared OF List. Apparently there needs to be separate chapter or books even of the different age groups of scared/creeped out MJ/tiny mj.MR.JIMBO is my new favorite person excluding you by the way.
8-Duh. Mo Better Blogs will not only provide us with everlasting entertainment and the pride in the backs of our minds. But also...well never mind. That's what it will do. :} Pride? you ask. Why? You question. Pride,I say,because you think we'll get sick of you and your blogginess. Au Contraire, mon ami! We shall never get sick of you, hence the pride of,..well yeah. Hence the Pride!
9-YOU! mon ami, are the Master of Suspense. Suite Scarlett TRES when TWO isn't even out yet. Feisty. and something you CANT talk about. I disagree. You coullllllllllllllld.

1:29 AM  
Anonymous Elise said...

Ooohhhh Suite Scarlett 3! That is very exciting, I juts squeeled on the inside. :D

1:33 AM  
Blogger Callidora said...

More blogs AND more book?! I'll let you know when I am sick of you. Until then never stop writing. :o)

1:46 AM  
Blogger Little Willow said...

I am amused because Crazy Bruce stopped singing on my computer screen just as Irene Dunne started singing on my TV screen. There's a day-long marathon of screwball comedies on Turner Classic Movies, so I'm currently watching The Awful Truth. Good times, good times.

2:04 AM  
Anonymous shaylaluna said...

Ooh, I get to be comment thirteen.

2:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(Happy New Year, everybody!)

Those are possibly the best resolutions I've read.
...I need a chainsaw. Actually, I used to have a chainsaw, but I think my grandma took it back.

2:15 AM  
Blogger Ayla said...

Yay! Your blogs are pretty much the most amazing things ever.
. . .
I have to somehow take apart my computer and put this thingy in it but I have no idea how. . .
'Tis distressing.

2:28 AM  
Blogger Khy said...

We will never be sick of you. You can try, but I will bet that you can not succeed.

And is it possible to create a song greater than Dancing Queen? Because I don't think that's possible.

2:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd totally sign the petition for Cookie O'Puss!

Looking forward to all the 2009 blogs

2:35 AM  
Blogger Jenny said...

So now that you're there when can we expect your appearence as the next Doctor?

Also I got one of the holiday cheer cards and was so happy my family was a bit concerned. It is now paperclipped to the dustcover of Suite Scarlett.

2:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MJ Why can't you write a sequel to 13 little blue, I mean, after Suite Scarlett #3 (can't wait!) & the book you cannot tell us about yet (so excited!)? Have you given that any thought, maybe? I hope you will, and all my friends agree! We have to know what happens next!!!!

2:52 AM  
Blogger Nadia Murti said...

That was the best "When I was in Kindergarden..." story EVER.

Congrats, Cat!!

3:05 AM  
Blogger Chelsea said...

First off, my CAPTCHA code for this comment is "growl." I think that is awesome.

Second, MY BRAIN BROKE. A song better than Dancing Queen? This just does not compute. But if anyone can do it, you can. I am trusting ABBA with you. BUT PLEASE DO NOT BREAK THEM WHEN YOU COLLIDE THEM. Please. Or I will be sad. And please do not let J.K. get a hold of their stuff next time she sneaks into your apartment.

Third, I was very amused at the kindergarten!mj tangent.

Fourth, I think you skipped a Very Important Resolution. FREE ALAN RICKMAN! He's not getting out of there on his own.

3:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How is Free Monkey?

3:25 AM  
Blogger Kaitlyn said...

Because I have complete faith in your ability to fix the economy (in a week), I am just going to thank you right now. Thank you.

3:26 AM  
Anonymous Kait said...

Yay more books! I can't wait to find out what happens to Scarlett.

3:53 AM  
Anonymous Vee said...

Fabulous resolutions. I totally agree about the chainsaw, by the way. Actually, you could probably fix the ABBA museum fiasco that way - You: "Give me ABBA sequin suits. Now." Them: "Um, but actually we need those -" You: "Bzzt." *waves chainsaw about threateningly* Them: "Oh my, I just realized that not only do I need to give you those ABBA sequin suits, but also I need to give you a substantial amount of money. Here. Go away. Please."
See? And then you could use that money (of an undetermined value) to fix the economy! Piece of cake really!

4:38 AM  
Blogger K. said...

Maureen, have you considered running for government office?
Seriously. When a chainsaw is first on your list, it's time to start running for governor.
(I say this NOT as a slam on our nation's varied and occasionally troubled governors. It's what I tell my mother every time she solves our outlandish landscape issues single-handedly, with a chainsaw. The chainsaw is an art form.)

Will chainsaws save us from the zombies, though?

5:11 AM  
Blogger HolyCheesecakes said...

A chainsaw will be very useful when the zombie apocalypse comes in 2012, and then when it runs out of gas you can take that pretty pink screwdriver and AIM FOR THE HEAD. :P

...or what was the sworn enemy of zombies... something about unicorns?... LOL

5:57 AM  
Anonymous Rebekah said...

While these are all fantastic resolutions, Ms. Maureen, I'm still disappointed in your failure to express support for Bill Nighy in my pursuit to get him to pursue a position as eleventh Doctor. This is quite possibly the most important issue of today - more important than the economy, or Obama becoming president, or the world failing - and I think your failure to recognize it is extremely discouraging.

6:13 AM  
Anonymous Meaghan said...

OMG CRAZY BRUCES!!! THATS IN CT MAUREEN!!!!! I PASS IT ALL THE TIME!!!!!!! I saw that commercial all the time as a kid and thought it was weird!!!!!!!


6:51 AM  
Anonymous SuperEllen said...

Awesome New Years Resolutions, MJ! =D When is Scarlett Fever coming out again? I can't remember if you told us. (I kind of want it nowwwwwww.)

7:35 AM  
Blogger lauren said...

If/when you ever get your chainsaw, I would suggest not running around New York City with it. I have a feeling that the cops won't take too kindly to that.

We can never get sick of you! I look forward to your blog posts! Hoorah for more of them!

And that girl definitely got what was coming to her. Score one for mini MJ.

8:58 AM  
Anonymous SarahE said...

These really are quite lovely resolutions. And that Kindergarten story beats every single other kindergarten story I've ever heard. Mr. Jimbo is my hero.

I am slightly confused though. You speak of being frightened of the band Queen as a tiny mj. Does this fear continue on in your grown-up mj mind? Hmmm...I confess this quite perturbs me, though I cannot explain why.

Oh, and Happy New Year!

9:03 AM  
Blogger Misrule said...

Hello Maureen,

You may not know this, but ABBA were more successful in Australia than anywhere. After all, ABBA: The Movie was filmed here! We Aussies were treated to an hour-long ABBA special on TV on New Year's Eve with an exclusive interview with Bjorn, so the love affair continues. And me, I'm just trying to figure out a way to put my ABBA scrapbook up online to show of to fellow fans.
Happy new year!
Judith in Sydney

12:13 PM  
Anonymous JK said...

I can never think of new years resolutions. Maybe I should make this year's resolution to think of resolutions for next year.
Or maybe I should just suck it up and think of some for this year.
Anyway, Happy New Year :D

4:10 PM  
Blogger Debra Rae said...

There are a few things you might NOT want to do with a chainsaw. For example, do not attempt to brush your teeth with a chainsaw.

5:53 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

I need to come up with some resolutions that good.

7:22 PM  
Blogger plumz123 said...

your new years resolutions beat mine by far!
Woohoo! MORE BLOGS!!!

8:51 PM  
Anonymous Nora said...

Happy New Year.
My resolution this year is, before I do anything, I am going to think "What would Tyra do?"
It was just my friend Steve's birthday. I was thinking about what present to get him, when I heard on E!, on some year in review show, that for Miley Cyrus's 16th birthday, Tyra gave her a picture of Tyra as a 16 year old. This sounded like a good plan. So I gave Steve, who just turned 26, a framed picture of Tyra when she was 26. I think this way of thought will get me far in 2009.

8:55 PM  
Blogger Kaitlyn said...

The Kindergarten story really made me laugh, when I was in kindergarten I was quite and stayed to myself. My teacher told my mother that I needed to be taken out of school and put away for being to quiet. When my mother yelled at her my teacher gave up on that and let me be quiet.

Each table in our classroom was a color marked by a piece of paper masking tapped to the table. Everybody was put at a table. Each table would be at a different station at different times and they would shift by color. My favorite color was purple and that's the table I really wanted to be at.

My Teacher put me at the GRAY table. Alone. Gray the dullest color of them all. Gray. Everybody picked on me for it until she felt bad and put the girl who hated me at the table with me and the boy who was always at the principal's office.

11:03 PM  
Blogger Gel said...

I think lunch box hitting must just seem like the ULTIMATE INSULT in elementary school because I remember being on the bus and finally getting so irked at someone (I think they called be short?) that I smacked him with my lunchbox and it was like THIS EPIC GASP-FEST. Except that he only found this hilarious. I think it would've helped if I had your chainsaw with me. Chainsaws make everything better. (:

11:32 PM  
Anonymous Katie H. said...

I hate to post a comment that has nothing to do with today's blog whatsoever, but, I was looking around the HarperTeen website, and I saw your name on a book with stories from several authors called "Vacations From Hell."

What is that?

3:57 AM  
Blogger Hollishillis said...

MJ you rule. Suite Scarlett Three!!!! NO WAY!!!! AND ANOTHER BOOK! You are awesome. I wish I had that many ideas in my head. I'm so excited to read these!!!

MJ I have to go back to university on Monday. I graduate with my BA in June in Creative Writing. I want to do some type of internship after school is over. Did you ever do an internship? If so where was it? Any advice?


10:07 AM  
Anonymous Valentina said...

Long Live Cookie O'Puss!!!! Yay! More books! I like your books! Maybe the ABBA Museum should be in.... Georgia. Does anything happend there?

10:25 AM  
Anonymous Amy said...

I think the first time I ever had ice cream cake was when I went to a friends birthday party when I wa eight. And it had whipped cream topping. It was strange to me because all the birthday cake I had ever had was just normal birthday cake. With a cakey cake part and sugar-butter-chocolate icing!
Everyone else was leaving random comments.. so that was mine.
I really love reading your blog MJ! And I agree with the others.... please NEVER stop writing!!!!

12:23 PM  
Anonymous Rebecca said...

Hey Maureen, I was lookin' around your site (because that's what sites are for, really) when I noticed this teeny-tiny little box thing at the bottom of a page. It was mutli-colored and happy looking, so I clicked. I was taken to a page showing how many views your site got, how long the average visit was and other dandy tidbits of info. Now, my thought is, you can do some serious stalking with this for there was a link to see what time zones visit most often, etc :D I giggled, and it made my day.
Wonderful resolutions by the way, keep us posted on how they come along... especially the chain saw one... my dad has one but I think I may need to get my own just to make sure I have a good year.

12:13 AM  
Blogger Kira902k said...

oohhh my. cookie o'puss. i am now terrified beyond belief.
lol and "what can't you do with a chainsaw?!" haha.
i dont think we can ever get sick of your blogs, although i think you should post some more Vlogs on youtube! cuz you're awesome.

i just bought suite scarlett and i'm about to start reading it, as soon as i finish Fight Club.

12:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great goals/resolutions! Keep writing! and that'd be great to fix the economy!(:


1:20 AM  
Anonymous blissfullydazed said...

Ha, this is a late comment - but I'm so happy, Maureen, that you've updated your blog of awesomeness!

Envious of you, I am, that you got to spent your New Year's Eve and Day in England - but mine weren't bad, either, I have to say. That video of endless liquor immediately spurred the idea to post said video on the MySpace page of a certain friend of mine who has pledged to get me drunk (and has not yet succeeded). A pledge she repeated on New Year's Eve, of course.

But that New Year's Eve was spent completely sober. We took an expedition to our local cinema, and started to watch The Spirit. This movie was relatively slow and cheesy, but did have a few deliciously weird parts (such as a small head attached to a foot bouncing around in front of Samuel L. Jackson). Just as I was starting to get into the plot a leetle bit, the rest of the group decided to give up and get a refund.

Out in the parking lot, we realized that the getaway car had a flat. So the passage into the California New Year was spent standing in the freezing cold, watching a tire change done by our aspiring mechanic friend.

But it was incredibly AWESOME, because behind the mall are loads of suburbs, which usually repulse me but tonight were ringing true with endless shouting, car horn honking, trumpet blaring, and firework popping. I heard way more in that parking lot than I ever had from my house. It was fantastical.

ABBA will conquer 2009, you can be sure.


6:29 AM  
Blogger Meh said...

I just watched Mamma Mia and I totally agree...a sing along version of the DVD is definitely NOT enough. That's why my friends and I are getting up in the middle of our lunch block tommorrow and bursting into song as loudly and obnoxiously as possible to Dancing Queen...hopefully we'll be able to pull some other people into our sing and dance routine.

8:07 PM  
Anonymous Camille said...

Maureen Johnson, you are officially the funniest person in existence. Dane Cook need not speak any longer! You are the master of comedy!

Another New Year's Res. should be to purchase a rat and a rat hammock from RatMart. "Eet ees good eef you want to sweeng your rat."

9:50 PM  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

Listen to Cookie O'Puss talk again. Steve Buscemi? It sounds like Steve Buscemi? Could it be?

By the by, I'd like to have a Mr. Jimbo in 2009. Sounds fun and practical!

1:41 AM  
Anonymous Summer said...

I laughed every time I read "Mr. Jimbo." That's the funniest name ever to exist. ever.

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Oreos_are_GOOD said...

hallo. . .

right now i am eating oreos. with milk. AND i'm reading your blog. could it get better? hmmm... no. unless they opened up the Abba Museum!!!

i also think that you should make a resolution to... to... say the word hppopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
more often. (it means fear of long words. muhaha!) and while you're fleeing from that word, you can say osquatulate (which means to flee!).

that was a really random comment but i was bored and. . . yeah. :)

yes... goodbye, gooodbye, "sings in really high voice" goodBYYYYE!

1:18 AM  
Blogger Emily said...

The Cookie O'Puss makes me nervous, too.

You know what used to make me nervous? The bad guys from Jem: the Misfits. Worst ever was when I got a misfit doll for Christmas because Toys R Us was out of Jem. Tragedy!

Also, thanks for the heads up, because now I know JUST who to call to make my wedding video.

Also #2: The word verification I have to type is holog. I think blogger is trying to say something here, and it's not being very friendly!

1:31 AM  
Blogger LibraryHermit said...

Maureen, we will never get sick of you. :-)

1:51 AM  
Blogger Jessie Carty said...

You forgot world peace! Guess I'll just have to go work on that :)

2:30 AM  
Anonymous Blenderiffic said...

If you lend me your chainsaw, I can help with number 3. I live about 10 minutes away from the LHC. It would be MUCH cooler if it had some disco gods spinning around in it.

2:48 PM  
Anonymous Emily said...

what ever happened to the mj podcast? it was so amazing!

9:12 AM  
Blogger Colt said...

HAHAHAHA!!!! This is the first blog of yours I have ever read and it was frickin' hilarious! My good friend Marvelous Maggie introduced me to you and she thinks your a genius and now so do I. Any who, you should totally send Marvelous Maggie a book for showing me the awesomeness of this blog! Oh and read my blog...because I said so...plz?

12:25 AM  
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I vote for the North American ABBA museum

2:51 AM  
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