CHRISTMAS EVE LIVE BLOG!
Many of you have recently written to inquire if I am, in fact, dead. Because during this, one of my favoritest times of year, I have been silent for almost three weeks! (Not really THAT silent. I was on Facebook for much of this, giving brief, meaningless, insane updates. Also giving away books. I like Facebook.)
So for 25 days I have been working away . . . on CHEER. And signing a few hundred cards for the MJ Holiday Card Workshop. Also, I finished my book. Yes, I was deep in Scrooge’s workshop, writing away by the light of one guttering candle to get Scarlett Fever done.
And now I am in Philadelphia for Christmas! I almost didn’t make it. It started when I booked my train ticket, and then I got on the train, which was oversold. So I was crowded into a seat. I had five bags with me—two overhead, one behind the seat, one by my feet, and one essentially on my head. I heard the conductor say the name of my stop and say it was the SECOND STOP. So I took out my computer and prepared to do a little work on something you’ll see below.
And then, we didn’t go anywhere. Apparently, the rails broke. We sat and we sat and we sat. I barely noticed when the train finally started going. So there I was, minding my own business, working away, computer open, coat off, and we finally slowed to the first stop and it was . . . MY STOP.
And I was still . . . computer open, coat off, headphones on, five bags in all directions. And the conductor started yelling, “THIS TRAIN IS GOING TO HARRISBURG!”
Harrisburg is very far from Philadelphia, and I was very far from getting off the train, so what happened next was me yelling, “#^$^&*^#$&*^&*%!%!!!” I slammed my computer shut, but for some unknown reason, it started to play music OUT LOUD. Specifically, it played THE GONK, which is the music featured in the thing you will see below.
One thing you kind of don’t want? Is to be jumping around a crowded train, yanking out bags, swearing profusely . . . AND blasting The Gonk from your bag. But that’s how I arrived home for the holiday. And I only made it because a man blocked the door with his body, giving me just enough time to eject myself and my five bags and my musical accompaniment on to the train platform. My computer was so mad at being slammed shut that it refused to stop playing The Gonk as I walked through the train station.
I was very quiet in the car.
I felt much better when we got back to my house. When we pulled up, it was all decorated. We Johnsons go all out in the Cheer department. I learned from the best. Every single room in our house is decorated, many with items actually made by my mother, who has the gene that allows her to make VERY FANCY DECORATIONS. So I was all ready for the Cheer. I opened the door and saw the thousands of twinkling lights, and our dozens of nutcrackers, and our bows and our wreaths and our snowmen. I looked over and saw our Christmas village (the basis of the Flobie Santa Village in Let it Snow).
And there was an alarm going off, and my mother was on the ten foot ladder screaming, “ALL I DID WAS PUT OUT A SCENTED OIL DIFFUSER AND IT HAS BEEN GOING OFF FOR A HALF AN HOUR AND I CANNOT GET IT TO STOP.”
So then we had to Cheerfully pull some circuit breakers and Cheerfully call the electrician.
Now, I have many questions here that I have not answered as I was gone for so long. So I will try to make that up this week, because as far as I am concerned, Cheer STARTS on Christmas! But let me try to answer a few. And let me try to do it in a way I have never done before. I am going to try to SORT OF LIVE BLOG some Cheer! Every hour until Christmas, I will UPDATE this blog and answer at least one CHEER RELATED QUESTION from the comments! So leave them now, and as you wait for Santa, I will STUDY the questions and provide the most advanced CHEER-RELATED answers I can!
ALSO! I promised a signed Let it Snow to a random commenter before! I will announce that winner at midnight, as I finish answering questions! And I will give out ANOTHER copy tonight, to ANOTHER random commenter! I just can’t stop!
So, leave your questions, and I’ll GET ON THEM! Let’s have CHRISTMAS EVE TOGETHER!
Oh, and The Gonk? Is here:
QUESTION ONE, 9:23 PM
They have failed, Gabriella, and I'm afraid Santa can't help you. I know this because he just went down our street in the fire truck, wrapped in plastic. This is a tradition in our town. Every Christmas Eve, usually when we are having dinner, we hear the sirens in the distance and my mom says, "EVERYBODY GET UP SANTA IS COMING ON THE FIRE TRUCK GET UP NOW, NOW, NOW . . ." and we have to drop everything and stand outside. And inevitably, as he did this year, he turns down some other street, so we stand there for about fifteen minutes but my mother, who is CONSUMED by Cheer, refuses to let us go back inside until we have WAVED TO SANTA. So I saw him and he does not have your stuff. I think the plastic was for the rain.
But you are not without hope, because I totally have your back and have some gifts you can get RIGHT NOW if you hurry and they are fine, fine gifts.
First of all, you can get this:
Yes, that's a Hannah Montana full coverage bra in 34a, which anyone can wear, even guys! If it doesn't fit as a bra, you can use it as a hairband. It was in Macy's which I think is still open so HURRY . . .
Failing that, you can go to Seven Eleven right now. Bring a plastic bag, like the one Santa was in, and get some CHILI AND CHEESE.
This is both delicious and economical. Nothing says Christmas like a bag of chili and cheese!
QUESTION TWO, 9:35 PM
I am for them. They make much more sense to me than those scary doll clamps we demonstrate in the video. Also, we have such things HERE, IN THIS HOUSE. Yes, even our bathrooms get their own special bubble lights. Except for the downstairs powder room, which is the domain of my lawyer, C. Catso Fangola. That is where he keeps his legal office and litter box, and the bubble light gives him the shakes and makes him howl at the wall.
Remember, SANTA is just SATAN spelled wrong! So that may help you think of your demonic glow as more of a Cheer-glow!
QUESTION THREE, 9:45 PM
Let me tell you a Christmas story, Chelsea, that actually happened to me.
When I was a kid, I was not exactly Little Mozart. Thoughts came slowly to the tiny mj brain. So, I was sitting there after a Christmas party with a toy I had gotten, but instead of playing with the toy, I decided the thing to do was break off some of the Styrofoam and stick it up my nose. As you do.
So I went in to the kitchen to proudly show my mother what I was achieved, and she said, "WHY DID YOU STICK STYROFOAM UP YOUR NOSE?" And I just smiled enigmatically, probably because I had no idea. I mean, if you go around sticking Styrofoam up your nose, you are probably not thinking very deeply.
My mother, who is a nurse and Knows Things, got a flashlight and looked up my nose and decided that this was very bad, because the Styrofoam might get into my sinus. So she turned off the oven, where our dinner was cooking, and packed me up. See, it was snowing. A lot. It was a huge storm. And we had to drive to the hospital in it. (Well, my parents did. Or one of them did.) The drive, which normally took ten minutes took and hour and a half, and when we pulled into the parking lot . . . I sneezed. Out came the Styrofoam.
My mother was not amused and decided that since we had risked our lives getting to the ER in the first place, I was going to be seen. So we went in and it was all deserted, because there was a storm. So everyone was paying attention to me . . . the little child who stuck foam up her nose. And you know who was there? SANTA! Yes, there was a hospital Santa and he was TOTALLY BORED, and in came this little kid, and he had something to do! So I got a TOY!
And my mother said, "OH NO SHE IS ALWAYS GOING TO THINK THAT IF YOU STICK THINGS UP YOUR NOSE YOU WILL GET TO SEE SANTA." And you know what, Chelsea? I DO think that!
I realize this may not help you directly, but if you meditate on this story for a while, I am sure you will be able to make the connections.
QUESTION FOUR, 10:00 PM
Two words, Joanna: puppet show.
NOT A QUESTION, A CORRECTION 10:05 PM
My mother has just informed me that I put paper up my nose at home. And then, shortly after, I put Styrofoam up my nose as an attempt to repeat the experience.
QUESTION FIVE, 10:25 PM
Devyn, I assume you are asking how you tell someone that you LIKE like them. This is always tricky, but I have a method that is very useful. It is called, "I AM HAVING ONE OF MY EPISODES."
Here's how it works.
When yo see your friend, make sure to look good, but not TOO good. Don't, for example, get dressed up in a top hat and tails. Keep it casual good. Just hang out and talk for a while, make some jokes, act like everything is normal. And then, just say, "I LIKE like you."
Then immediately clutch your head, sway a bit and yell "OH NO! I AM HAVING ONE OF MY EPISODES." Fall to the ground.
If the friend is creeped out by your admission, he or she will probably sneak away and leave you for dead. If the person likes you, he or she will stay and cradle you in his or her arms until you come back to consciousness, which you should do in about five minutes.
If the person does not seem to feel the same way, this method gives you an out. Because later you can say, "What happened? I woke up and you were gone?"
And then the person will start mumbling something about just liking you as a friend. Cut them off quickly and say, "What are you talking about? I was having ONE OF MY EPISODES. And when I have an episode, I say some words twice and then pass out."
And then the person will be embarrassed and you will have the upper hand, forever.
For the holidays, do this in a Santa hat or festive sweater.
QUESTION SIX, 11:00 PM
Stay calm, Hannah. I've got this. Here's what you do. Take your computer and get as close to them as possible. Crank up the volume, expand the screen, and play this:
Do this three times. This will upset them and make it very hard for them to play. Watch them closely. They will start making mistakes. Then, hit them with this:
Stay strong, Hannah. Keep the computer on them. And as it plays, mutter the word "tampons" under your breath.
They will see the error of their ways and immediately leave to commit acts of CHEER.
QUESTION SEVEN, 11:35 PM
WHERE DO YOU LIVE? I WILL BE THERE IN TEN MINUTES.
QUESTION EIGHT, 11:50 PM
Sarah, I not only know this, I have done it. I've done even worse than this, actually.
I played this game when I was snowed in to my friend's house, and he said, "You should play this. You would like it. You like organizing things."
And I do like organizing things. But I hate rides. So when I built my theme park, I ignored the rides and concentrated on food stands and costumed characters. I had no good roller coasters, but I won a never-before-seen award for best food! And then I hired all these people dressed like tigers to entertain people in the lines for my terrible rides, and I went to move one of them, which you do by picking them up with what looks like a little claw. But I wasn't very good with the controls, and I accidentally dropped my costumed tiger in one of my ornamental lakes (I also invested in landscaping) and it struggled and DROWNED. Which totally bummed out the little patrons in the game. So I built a new food court.
QUESTION NINE, 11:57 PM
Try reading it in a Swedish accent. Imagine Abba is reading it. Or use this.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
A signed Let it Snow to DASHA (send me your address, Dasha) . . .
And another to a random commenter on THIS POST!
So for 25 days I have been working away . . . on CHEER. And signing a few hundred cards for the MJ Holiday Card Workshop. Also, I finished my book. Yes, I was deep in Scrooge’s workshop, writing away by the light of one guttering candle to get Scarlett Fever done.
And now I am in Philadelphia for Christmas! I almost didn’t make it. It started when I booked my train ticket, and then I got on the train, which was oversold. So I was crowded into a seat. I had five bags with me—two overhead, one behind the seat, one by my feet, and one essentially on my head. I heard the conductor say the name of my stop and say it was the SECOND STOP. So I took out my computer and prepared to do a little work on something you’ll see below.
And then, we didn’t go anywhere. Apparently, the rails broke. We sat and we sat and we sat. I barely noticed when the train finally started going. So there I was, minding my own business, working away, computer open, coat off, and we finally slowed to the first stop and it was . . . MY STOP.
And I was still . . . computer open, coat off, headphones on, five bags in all directions. And the conductor started yelling, “THIS TRAIN IS GOING TO HARRISBURG!”
Harrisburg is very far from Philadelphia, and I was very far from getting off the train, so what happened next was me yelling, “#^$^&*^#$&*^&*%!%!!!” I slammed my computer shut, but for some unknown reason, it started to play music OUT LOUD. Specifically, it played THE GONK, which is the music featured in the thing you will see below.
One thing you kind of don’t want? Is to be jumping around a crowded train, yanking out bags, swearing profusely . . . AND blasting The Gonk from your bag. But that’s how I arrived home for the holiday. And I only made it because a man blocked the door with his body, giving me just enough time to eject myself and my five bags and my musical accompaniment on to the train platform. My computer was so mad at being slammed shut that it refused to stop playing The Gonk as I walked through the train station.
I was very quiet in the car.
I felt much better when we got back to my house. When we pulled up, it was all decorated. We Johnsons go all out in the Cheer department. I learned from the best. Every single room in our house is decorated, many with items actually made by my mother, who has the gene that allows her to make VERY FANCY DECORATIONS. So I was all ready for the Cheer. I opened the door and saw the thousands of twinkling lights, and our dozens of nutcrackers, and our bows and our wreaths and our snowmen. I looked over and saw our Christmas village (the basis of the Flobie Santa Village in Let it Snow).
And there was an alarm going off, and my mother was on the ten foot ladder screaming, “ALL I DID WAS PUT OUT A SCENTED OIL DIFFUSER AND IT HAS BEEN GOING OFF FOR A HALF AN HOUR AND I CANNOT GET IT TO STOP.”
So then we had to Cheerfully pull some circuit breakers and Cheerfully call the electrician.
Now, I have many questions here that I have not answered as I was gone for so long. So I will try to make that up this week, because as far as I am concerned, Cheer STARTS on Christmas! But let me try to answer a few. And let me try to do it in a way I have never done before. I am going to try to SORT OF LIVE BLOG some Cheer! Every hour until Christmas, I will UPDATE this blog and answer at least one CHEER RELATED QUESTION from the comments! So leave them now, and as you wait for Santa, I will STUDY the questions and provide the most advanced CHEER-RELATED answers I can!
ALSO! I promised a signed Let it Snow to a random commenter before! I will announce that winner at midnight, as I finish answering questions! And I will give out ANOTHER copy tonight, to ANOTHER random commenter! I just can’t stop!
So, leave your questions, and I’ll GET ON THEM! Let’s have CHRISTMAS EVE TOGETHER!
Oh, and The Gonk? Is here:
QUESTION ONE, 9:23 PM
Gabriella said...
Amazon is sadly bringing cheer down. They have FAILED to deliver half our family's presents on christmas eve like they PROMISED. What are the odds that santa had them in his possession and will show up in the middle of the night/before we leave for the grandparents house with all of them?
They have failed, Gabriella, and I'm afraid Santa can't help you. I know this because he just went down our street in the fire truck, wrapped in plastic. This is a tradition in our town. Every Christmas Eve, usually when we are having dinner, we hear the sirens in the distance and my mom says, "EVERYBODY GET UP SANTA IS COMING ON THE FIRE TRUCK GET UP NOW, NOW, NOW . . ." and we have to drop everything and stand outside. And inevitably, as he did this year, he turns down some other street, so we stand there for about fifteen minutes but my mother, who is CONSUMED by Cheer, refuses to let us go back inside until we have WAVED TO SANTA. So I saw him and he does not have your stuff. I think the plastic was for the rain.
But you are not without hope, because I totally have your back and have some gifts you can get RIGHT NOW if you hurry and they are fine, fine gifts.
First of all, you can get this:
Yes, that's a Hannah Montana full coverage bra in 34a, which anyone can wear, even guys! If it doesn't fit as a bra, you can use it as a hairband. It was in Macy's which I think is still open so HURRY . . .
Failing that, you can go to Seven Eleven right now. Bring a plastic bag, like the one Santa was in, and get some CHILI AND CHEESE.
This is both delicious and economical. Nothing says Christmas like a bag of chili and cheese!
QUESTION TWO, 9:35 PM
Halle said...
What do you think about chrismtas lights in a washroom? And what do you think if said christmas lights are radiating a demonic red glow that instills fear into anybody needing to pee?
I am for them. They make much more sense to me than those scary doll clamps we demonstrate in the video. Also, we have such things HERE, IN THIS HOUSE. Yes, even our bathrooms get their own special bubble lights. Except for the downstairs powder room, which is the domain of my lawyer, C. Catso Fangola. That is where he keeps his legal office and litter box, and the bubble light gives him the shakes and makes him howl at the wall.
Remember, SANTA is just SATAN spelled wrong! So that may help you think of your demonic glow as more of a Cheer-glow!
QUESTION THREE, 9:45 PM
Chelsea said...
So... Let's say your mom has had a Very Bad Tooth Infection and is currently on antibiotics, but all of a sudden it starts to go insane and she almost has to go to the emergency room. But she ends up not going to the E.R. because you called beforehand and they said they couldn't do anything and there was a three hour wait. What would you do to Cheer your mom up?
Let me tell you a Christmas story, Chelsea, that actually happened to me.
When I was a kid, I was not exactly Little Mozart. Thoughts came slowly to the tiny mj brain. So, I was sitting there after a Christmas party with a toy I had gotten, but instead of playing with the toy, I decided the thing to do was break off some of the Styrofoam and stick it up my nose. As you do.
So I went in to the kitchen to proudly show my mother what I was achieved, and she said, "WHY DID YOU STICK STYROFOAM UP YOUR NOSE?" And I just smiled enigmatically, probably because I had no idea. I mean, if you go around sticking Styrofoam up your nose, you are probably not thinking very deeply.
My mother, who is a nurse and Knows Things, got a flashlight and looked up my nose and decided that this was very bad, because the Styrofoam might get into my sinus. So she turned off the oven, where our dinner was cooking, and packed me up. See, it was snowing. A lot. It was a huge storm. And we had to drive to the hospital in it. (Well, my parents did. Or one of them did.) The drive, which normally took ten minutes took and hour and a half, and when we pulled into the parking lot . . . I sneezed. Out came the Styrofoam.
My mother was not amused and decided that since we had risked our lives getting to the ER in the first place, I was going to be seen. So we went in and it was all deserted, because there was a storm. So everyone was paying attention to me . . . the little child who stuck foam up her nose. And you know who was there? SANTA! Yes, there was a hospital Santa and he was TOTALLY BORED, and in came this little kid, and he had something to do! So I got a TOY!
And my mother said, "OH NO SHE IS ALWAYS GOING TO THINK THAT IF YOU STICK THINGS UP YOUR NOSE YOU WILL GET TO SEE SANTA." And you know what, Chelsea? I DO think that!
I realize this may not help you directly, but if you meditate on this story for a while, I am sure you will be able to make the connections.
QUESTION FOUR, 10:00 PM
Joanna said...
Any Christmas Eve suggestions for, say, a Jew who is stuck inside because of some freak snowstorms and has in fact barely left the house in 5 days because of said snow and is now going a little STIR CRAZY? You know, just hypothetically.
Two words, Joanna: puppet show.
NOT A QUESTION, A CORRECTION 10:05 PM
My mother has just informed me that I put paper up my nose at home. And then, shortly after, I put Styrofoam up my nose as an attempt to repeat the experience.
QUESTION FIVE, 10:25 PM
Devyn said...
How do you say HAPPY HOLIDAYS--OHH AND I 'LIKE' YOU! To a friend? :O!
Devyn, I assume you are asking how you tell someone that you LIKE like them. This is always tricky, but I have a method that is very useful. It is called, "I AM HAVING ONE OF MY EPISODES."
Here's how it works.
When yo see your friend, make sure to look good, but not TOO good. Don't, for example, get dressed up in a top hat and tails. Keep it casual good. Just hang out and talk for a while, make some jokes, act like everything is normal. And then, just say, "I LIKE like you."
Then immediately clutch your head, sway a bit and yell "OH NO! I AM HAVING ONE OF MY EPISODES." Fall to the ground.
If the friend is creeped out by your admission, he or she will probably sneak away and leave you for dead. If the person likes you, he or she will stay and cradle you in his or her arms until you come back to consciousness, which you should do in about five minutes.
If the person does not seem to feel the same way, this method gives you an out. Because later you can say, "What happened? I woke up and you were gone?"
And then the person will start mumbling something about just liking you as a friend. Cut them off quickly and say, "What are you talking about? I was having ONE OF MY EPISODES. And when I have an episode, I say some words twice and then pass out."
And then the person will be embarrassed and you will have the upper hand, forever.
For the holidays, do this in a Santa hat or festive sweater.
QUESTION SIX, 11:00 PM
hannah said...
what if you are trying to enjoy a nice christmas eve with your parents, watching Its a Wonderful Life, and then your brother comes home with 5 of his very loud and obnoxious friends who want to play poker at your kitchen table for just a few min. your mom says sure why not?! they have now been here for 45min and are getting louder by the min. help me...
Stay calm, Hannah. I've got this. Here's what you do. Take your computer and get as close to them as possible. Crank up the volume, expand the screen, and play this:
Do this three times. This will upset them and make it very hard for them to play. Watch them closely. They will start making mistakes. Then, hit them with this:
Stay strong, Hannah. Keep the computer on them. And as it plays, mutter the word "tampons" under your breath.
They will see the error of their ways and immediately leave to commit acts of CHEER.
QUESTION SEVEN, 11:35 PM
Nadia Murti said...
What should one do when confronted by loud parents who refuse to stop singing ABBA? When these parents cannot sing?
WHERE DO YOU LIVE? I WILL BE THERE IN TEN MINUTES.
QUESTION EIGHT, 11:50 PM
SarahE said...
Did you know that on Rollercoaster Tycoon you can actually manipulate the people in the park? At the exit, if you stop them from leaving with a no entry sign, they get very depressed and drag themselves around, heads hanging forlornly. You can also drown them. One time, when I logged onto the game, I realized that my sister had drowned 20 people in a row. It wasn't very Cheery. She also made one of the rides crash, killing eight more souls. It was truly terrible.
Sarah, I not only know this, I have done it. I've done even worse than this, actually.
I played this game when I was snowed in to my friend's house, and he said, "You should play this. You would like it. You like organizing things."
And I do like organizing things. But I hate rides. So when I built my theme park, I ignored the rides and concentrated on food stands and costumed characters. I had no good roller coasters, but I won a never-before-seen award for best food! And then I hired all these people dressed like tigers to entertain people in the lines for my terrible rides, and I went to move one of them, which you do by picking them up with what looks like a little claw. But I wasn't very good with the controls, and I accidentally dropped my costumed tiger in one of my ornamental lakes (I also invested in landscaping) and it struggled and DROWNED. Which totally bummed out the little patrons in the game. So I built a new food court.
QUESTION NINE, 11:57 PM
Renata said...
Maureen, I'm reading your blog and laughing out loud very loudly in my grandfather's living room and everyone keeps looking at me weird and asking me what the heck is so funny. Then I read it out loud and they just don't get it . . . how can I explain to them the amazing humor that is Maureen Johnson?
Try reading it in a Swedish accent. Imagine Abba is reading it. Or use this.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
A signed Let it Snow to DASHA (send me your address, Dasha) . . .
And another to a random commenter on THIS POST!
Labels: cheer, dolls, Libba Bray, live blog
164 Comments:
What is your favorite carol, MJ? And what are your thoughts on mixed religion families celebrating two holidays at once? How did you find out that Santa wasn't real?
Will we get pictures of the Flobie Village? Also, just wanted to wish you a Happy Christmas. The Philly area feels more CHEERful with you in it, in spite of the weather.
Loved the video, Maureen!!
Cheer related question:
What do you do when you have to listen to someone sing a Christmas carol, but they're singing VERY BADLY? I don't want to kill their cheer, but is that the type of cheer that really needs to be spread?
This Cheered me up very, very much.
So... Let's say your mom has had a Very Bad Tooth Infection and is currently on antibiotics, but all of a sudden it starts to go insane and she almost has to go to the emergency room. But she ends up not going to the E.R. because you called beforehand and they said they couldn't do anything and there was a three hour wait. What would you do to Cheer your mom up? Is the best way to spread Christmas Cheer REALLY singing loud for all to hear?
Awesome!!
This is fantastic cheer!
Merry Christmas Eve Maureen!
Amazon is sadly bringing cheer down. They have FAILED to deliver half our family's presents on christmas eve like they PROMISED. What are the odds that santa had them in his possession and will show up in the middle of the night/before we leave for the grandparents house with all of them?
Cheer related question: what's your favorite childhood Christmas memory?
Well, what does it say about me that I am home alone with my husband for the first time in almost 29 years of marriage, and I check your blog while cooking our dinner after church?!? No, better not answer this one...but the presents are under the tree and wait to be opened...Cheer!
Glad to see the blog update, if I didn't have you on facebook I would have been quite scared.
But, I have a question.
What do you think about chrismtas lights in a washroom? And what do you think if said christmas lights are radiating a demonic red glow that instills fear into anybody needing to pee?
What is the most cheerful thing about being home for the holidays?
hmmm let me think of a question...do babies get shaking baby syndrome in a earthquake? this question, as you can tell, is quite urgent. i would enjoy it very much if it was answered. merry christmas anyways!
Maureeeenn!
Glad to have you back, I was going through some serious Cheer-withdrawl.
Though I am pleased to say that because of this LIVE BLOGGING EVENTACULAR I am definitely more Cheerful. My question is:
Say you were living in Canada. (The assumption that we all live in ingloos should be implied). How could you decorate your icy semi-sphere home to best suit the needs of an AWESOMETASTIC FUNULAR ABBA DISCO SPECTACTLE?
I was also wondering what Christmas carol can you not but sing along with when it comes on the radio?
Also, what was your greatest fear, and how were you able to resolve it?
Have a very Happy Christmas! :D
MJ!
I absolutely loved your The Gonk video. You're such a good friend, getting Libba over her fear of dolls. What gives you the motivation to do stuff like this for your friends?
How do you get so much cheer? do you have a vat of cheer you make out of sugar, spice, and everything nice? does your cheer give you special powers?
merry christmas eve!
That is one amazing video. However, the dolls swiped my cheer and left me with the heebeejeebees.
Cheer Question: How does one cheerfully tell his/her siblings to help wrap their parents' gifts?
Like, if you're one wrapping skillz, but now you want to sit at the computer until 2am.
OK...I agree with Libba...DOLLS ARE CREEPY!!! But my hat's off to her to going in that store...I wouldn't do it.
For us nerdfighters, is there an inverse correlation between the amount of Cheer that you spread and the amount of worldsuck at any given time?
OK, so I sorta want to be you, Maureen Johnson, when I grow up, although I think it may be entirely possible that I'm actually older than you are.
Do you think you and Libba could help me overcome my fear of car washes?
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I loved the video! My favorite part was "Omg, it's like the end of breaking dawn!"... Then again, the demonstration in the bathroom was pretty good too. After seeing that video, I have to agree that dolls can be creepy... especially when they were all lined up in a row wearing the same outfit. Chucky or Talking Tina, perhaps? I'm glad that you made it to your family's house!
Christmas Cheer! Merry Christmas!
P.S. If you press the wheelchair sign on the word verification, the computer talks to you!
Sounds like a day in my life. . .
I got to mop up a pool of soap suds in my kitchen yesterday. . .who knew that dishwasher + liquid soap = disaster
CHEER question:
How do you deal with relatives who promised they sent you packages but you haven't gotten them yet? How do you recover from the disappointment of having no presents under the tree?
I died laughing "OH MY GOD ITS LIKE THE END OF BREAKING DAWN!"
Cheer Question:
How do you say HAPPY HOLIDAYS--OHH AND I 'LIKE' YOU! To a friend? :O!
Libba! Yay! That video was gold, I must admit. GOLD, I TELL YOU. I watched it while eating chocolate and vanilla ice cream. Delicious.
So. Question, Maureen: Scariest thing that could happen during one holiday season?
Hi Maureen,
Any Christmas Eve suggestions for, say, a Jew who is stuck inside because of some freak snowstorms and has in fact barely left the house in 5 days because of said snow and is now going a little STIR CRAZY? You know, just hypothetically.
I think I might never ever go into an American Girl store. I've never seen one in the Northwest, but still. I'm going to have trouble sleeping now.
Cheer Question: How do you spread CHEER when you know you're not going to receive a single present? (It can be very depressing to know that.)
Fear Question: How do you conquer a fear of the dark? Besides locking yourself in a dark room for a couple of hours and going insane?
- Isabela
Okay, yeah, I'm running low on holiday cheer and a Maureen holibloglooza is just the thing to tip the scales of merriment and joy.
What...?
I am *too* allowed to make up words like holibloglooza.
Thank you very much for answering my question Maureen.
It is a bummer that Santa is wrapped in plastic without my gifts but I do think I'll consider the Hannah Montana bra for my grandma. Or perhaps my uncle.
Okay, MJ, I honestly need your help with a Cheer-related problem. Santa has always given me the creeps. I mean, "he knows when you've been sleeping, he knows when you're awake"????!!!! Sounds more like a creeper than a jolly old fellow to me! What should I do about this longtime fear?
You're so prettyyyy! :)
What about Dollfie dolls?
http://www.ladywiththedog.com/BJDpics/FamilyAlbum/tia_profile267sq.jpg
Have a lovely holiday.
What do you think are the best christmas related things to collect?
And is it worth getting arrested in order to obtain more of said collectibles?
Did I ever tell you what an epically bad Christmas present wrapper I am? I wrap presents like Lucy and Ethel box chocolates. I am the Swedish chef of wrapping. The truth is actually WORSE than either of those two things.
So are you only making ONE video I take it? I'm rather confused now. :p
--Next Question...
So if some old fat man, breaks into my house and is messing with the gifts under the tree what should I do? Assume it is indeed Santa, or beat the man down while humming the Gonk song?
That may be the most terrifying doll store ever.
Haha, wow this is exciting. I don't really have any questions. I'm just trying to soak up holiday cheer. So far it's working pretty well.
Happy Christmas Eve, Maureen!
... a signed copy of Suite Scarlett would greatly increase my Cheer, by the by ;)
CHEER RELATED QUESTION: This is my first Christmas in which I am "visiting" home for Christmas, as I am in college. There is much confusion about friends from home as many seem to have lost interest in hanging out with their fellow graduates ... Do you have any advice about raising Cheer-levels in such a situation?
I think you're magical and I officially nominate you for Magical Fairy of Cheer. You could wear a special dress and tiara, with a satin band that proudly bears your title.
Some advice on this most auspicious night: if you stay up to see Santa, make sure your dog is also prepared to "see" Santa. Prepare accordingly.
If Santa flies all over the world and gives all the little kiddies presents, what nationality is he? North Polian? Heh. Is he white to all the kids across the world? I don't think many kids from India celebrate Christmas with Santa.. But if they do, does their Santa wear a turban? O.o
what if you are trying to enjoy a nice christmas eve with your parents, watching Its a Wonderful Life, and then your brother comes home with 5 of his very loud and obnoxious friends who want to play poker at your kitchen table for just a few min. your mom says sure why not?! they have now been here for 45min and are getting louder by the min. help me...i really need some cheer right now or a few asprin.
You have told this story on your blog before! I laughed then, and I laughed again. It is probably one of those things that is just always funny.
My mom is currently medicated and is fine for the time being. And I have some Styrofoam ready to shove up my nose now. And if my interpretation of this story is wrong, at least I will get to see Santa.
Hi! I'm in desperate need of some cheer right now. My parents have decided that instead of going to my grandma's to see my cousins and eat yummy food like we always do, we are staying home for Christmas Eve and doing nothing. What do you suggest I can do to spread cheer throughout my home tonight? Because right now there is zero cheeriness going on. HELP!
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haha I love the video with Libba. I'm glad Libba was able to overcome her fear. Great inspiration!
Ahh, the holidays. They can be the most stressful time when they are suppose to the the jolliest.
We must all try our best to be Cheery! :)
Cheer Question:
Why don't we Celebrate the 12 days of Christmas anymore??? All of my Jewish friends brag about having 7 days of Hannuka... We used to have 12 days of Christmas where you give a present for each day of Christmas (Like the song)! For more information look here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/12_Days_of_Christmas
Can you imagine the presents you could get from the After Christmas Sales?!?!
This may very well have been the best post I've ever read! I loved it!
What should you do if you have been trying to post a very complicated cheer question from your ipod at workfor 45 mind and blogger doesn't seem to like me anymore?
The worst thing is although I'm 22 and a college graduate, I'm a 32A so that Hannah Montana bra may in fact be too big.
Shoot me now.
Maureen, my family is still pretty set on venturing into the wilds of New York for New Years. Against your advice, even! How do I dissuade them?
Also, Carlos Santana Claus is in my house playing "Black Magic Reindeer." I'm not usre if he's really there, of if this is an unfortunate side affect of too much Jesus Juice at church. Either way, send help please.
Maureen, on the 26th my friends and I are having a day after Christmas holiday movie extravaganza. We are watching Christmas movies all day long. What movies should we watch?
I might add, Hannah, that sticking tampons up your nose will also do the trick.
What's the best Christmas movie ever?
Maureen i am happy to say that i got many stares from the friends but unfortunately they have yet to leave. i will keep on the tunes and see what will come of it. maybe i will stick some tampons up my nose, thanks Chelsea for the suggestion!
How do you deal with a crying sister, a brother with a splint on his nose from some serious surgery (there's also blood...), and a complete lack of tiredness on Christmas Eve?
Alas, am I too late!?
I just wanted to say that I am spreading Cheer on Christmas by volunteering at a homeless shelter. I was just wondering if you(Maureen)have had any experiences volunteering that you would like to share with us?
wooo.
:)
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas, Maureen! Thank you for the cheer during my awkward first Christmas with divorced parents. =)
Also, what is your opinion of Juliana Hatfield?
Oh, I love Juliana Hatfield. You don't find many people anymore who even know who she is!
What should one do when confronted by loud parents who refuse to stop singing ABBA? When these parents cannot sing?
we get to open one present on cristmaas eve and i got let it snow YAY
I would like to know why there isnt a machine that automatically wraps gifts up for you? I just spent hours wrapping my sisters gifts, and my back has unattached itself and is beating me over the head with the wrapping paper tube. Apparently its not happy about the achyness.
-Adam
Ho hum...I didn't even know you were doing this until I just got home! But I would like to know is what to do if you have a brother who HATES CHRISTMAS SONGS? Every time he walks into a room with Christmas Cheer called music he TURNS IT OFF! It makes me so sad!!!!!! What can I do!?!?!
I have my English teacher to thank for the Juliana Hatfield love!
I think I first discovered Juliana Hatfield by watching Reality Bites and My So-Called Life. She's a great and highly underrated musician!
Santa is in New York City. RIGHT NOW. Look out the window!
What are you supposed to do to control yourself when you make the rules and there's no one to stop you from opening all your presents? I put the babies to bed and me and my husband opened all of our presents.
Devyn and I are having an ABBA dance party on Skype. I am supplying the ABBA. Which ABBA song is the most Cheerful?
Haha! Reading this was the best way to end my Cheer-filled Christmas Eve. I'm going to go to bed now and wait for Santa. :)
LAST MINUTE COMMENT! I appreciate the CHEER of this blog!
Rachel D.
Maureen, I'm reading your blog and laughing out loud very loudly in my grandfather's living room and everyone keeps looking at me weird and asking me what the heck is so funny. Then I read it out loud and they just don't get it . . . how can I explain to them the amazing humor that is Maureen Johnson?
Dear Maureen,
I see that you are done with your novel. I really appreciate the two CHEER cards I got- one sent to my house in New Jersey and the other I will recieve when I return to college. Now my question is...When can I get that AWESOME Advanced Readers Copy (ARC) of Scarlett Fever?
Merry Christmas! (But since I am Jewish I will be spending the day being CHEERFUL to many people in nursing homes and then going to the movies.)
Love,
Rachel Simon
I think this blog has given me just the right amount of cheer to dream of sugar plums dancing in my head. Merry Christmas in 3 minutes!
Also, more randomness, did you know that Versace once made pants with popes and other Catholic officials on them? My friend and I found them at a thrift store. She now owns them.
AT LAST!! they have left! the dreaded friends have left the building! without a min to spare. off to bed with me and in the morning many fun surprises awaits! (hopefully one of them is Let It Snow) happy holidays everyone and Maureen you are truely a lifesaver. thank you for keeping me sane!
Where can I buy that instant Swedish accent stuff?
Oh, and happy Christmas! For you anyway, Maureen. It's still 2 hours and 57 minutes until Christmas for me.
Merry Christmas everyone!!
Oh, Maureen.
What a lovely way to spend Christmas Eve, reading your blog.
Thank you!
:]
yayay! merry offical christmas!!
Merry Christmas! I hope everyone got something nice to read (I got a create your own Jane Austen adventure book!)!
Merry 6 minutes into Christmas! :D
Santa is in Saskatchewan, Canada according to NORAD, and heading south!
If you have finished Scarlet Fever, then how long should one expect to wait until they can take it home for their very own and embrace the fine workmanship of your wonderful authorness.
Merry Christmas, everyone! :D
*spreads Cheer*
My verification word on this is "twips." Now, "twips" is not actually a real word, but it is so enjoyable to say that I feel it needs a definition. Any ideas?
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Merry Christmas!!
Best wishes for the holiday, y'all. :)
Merry Christmas from another Meghan!
sadly i have just now discovered that i will not be getting Let It Snow. my mother has failed me. :[ she couldnt find it anywhere so i guess thats good its selling fast.
Merry Christmas to everyone!! :)
and Hannah, maybe you should try your local library..they might have a copy...
its a really great book.. I had so much fun reading it!
thanks i will!
Thanks for the sage advice, Maureen! I put on a lovely puppet show for my cats entitled, "The Jew Who Was Bored on Christmas (It's Not Like Santa's Showing Up Here)". You can see how much the audience loved it here: http://tinyurl.com/76l58h
Ur welcome Hannah!!
is Maureen replying to any of the posts??
coz I dont get this live blog thing...
I'd love to win a copy of let it snow!! I really wanted this book for Christmas but no one got it for me :-(
Your mention of ABBA reminded me of the Mamma Mia movie... so, Meryl Streep singing - good, bad, or full of ABBA CHEER?
So, I just read Suite Scarlett, and my friend told me to check out your blog -- and don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't really intend to do so, because I find it kind of weird think of my favorite authors existing outside of the books they write -- I mean, I know you have a real life, but how do I know you're interesting in real life?
So my friend tried to convince me by saying your blog is really cool. And I said "That's nice." And she said "Maureen Johnson gives away free books sometimes!" And I said, "I never win anything anyway!" And she said "She's friends with Libba Bray!" And I said "SRSLY?"
So, yeah, I've been reading your blog here ('cause, you know, Christmas Eve, so major family-avodiance becomes necessary after the turkey), and I have found much evidence (shiny, sekrits, ABBA!!!) to prove that you are, in fact, awesome.
Anonymous,
Yeah, it is sometimes really diffcult to believe that our fav authors have lives outside the books they write, but seriously Maureen is awesome in real life too...
Ive met her once, but it was sooo awesome... you'd want to do it over and over :)
MJ!
My CHEER related question:
What do you do to get over a guy who
a) never knew you existed.
b)saw about 6 months ago and haven't had any contact with since.
c)don't have any prospects of seeing him ever again?
Please help me! I've been agonizing over this since June!!!
my CHEER question/ problem is this:
i moved away from the only town i've ever lived in back in august. scene then most of my best friends have stopped talking to me. its hard to be cheerful when you have like no friends left. what should i do?
ALSO wish me luck, tomorrow we venture out into two weeks worth of snow to get to Grandmas Christmas Brunch. aka Hell at Christmas. :P
so i laughed
really hard
at that
and then my sister told me
"you have to go to bed now, SANTA IS COMING SOON!!!!!!!"
and i laughed some more.
i am trying very hard to keep my younger sister from going out into the main house because she wants to investigate the strange noises "SANTA" is making in an effort to bring Cheer to the household. also, i am writing a mystery novel, with humorous footnotes. and a romantic interest. meanwhile i struggle with solving my best friends rubiks cube dilemma, solve a rubiks cube on my own, and struggle with being in love with said best friend (who is a guy).
therefore, i deserve some Cheer in the form of a book.
Wow, I feel left out. I just checked your blog at 11:17 PST. I was really happy for the live blog until I realized that Philadelphia is a few hour ahead of me. But a lovely bolg, like always. :D
You're incredible maureen!!!!
My boyfriends mom likes to give me gifts for holidays and I never get her anything and I'm starting to feel bad. What can I get a middle aged woman with a very very tiny budget that she won't think is a ridiculous cheap gift!
-Holly
p.s. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I RE-READ LET IT SNOW =]
Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM IN AWE, MAUREEN. THIS BLOG WAS AMAZING (AND IT CONTAINED SEVERAL HELPFUL TIPS)!
Maureen, Harrisburg isn't so bad. In fact, I'm in Harrisburg! You should of taken your train fiasco experienced and turned it into an adventure! And plus, it wasn't like the train was heading to Pittsburgh non-stop.
P.S.- I wanted to tell my guy friend that I like him like him, so I made him a Mix Tape and asked him out to go see Avenue Q when the touring company comes to our area in Feb. And he said, "I don't know, it's expensive". Is it even worth crushing on this guy?
let's say your sister overflowed your toilet, then asked like you (a girl with no experience in the ways of toilets) to help her fix it.
then, after you made it flood more, your dad came upstairs and fixed it.
how should i reinstall cheer to my day?
also, yay for sticking things up your nose!
The part about Rollercoaster Tycoon made me LOL hysterically. I had to suppress it before people could see me and think I was crazy.
The Rollercoaster Tycoon thing made my morning quite a bit brighter, thank you.
Merry Christmas!! I hope you have a wonderful day with friends and family!
UKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UKE UKE UKE UKE UKE
*cough*
I'm cool.
I left a happy "Merry Christmas" post, but I feel the need to ask a question as well.
What do you do on Christmas Day when your 90 year old Grandmother is afflicted with the walking farts as she crosses the living room at a speed that makes a snail look like it has a turbo engine? Specifically when you, as an observer, giggle uncontrollably at inappropriate moments such as that?
Another example of inappropriate giggles (in case that wasn't clear enough) is when the entire contents your Mother's purse dump into a gas station toilet. Just to clarify.
Hmm.. I wonder if the one who complained about parents singing ABBA to loudly was in my cousins house. We sang ABBA ALL NIGHT LONG.
And we just found out that the neighbours heard us as well....
Well, it's ABBA. And it was AWESOME.
That Swedish accent thing is.... new to me. But then again, Swedes don't really need it. We do perfect Swedish accents NATURALLY. Something like this;
Aj lijk Måreen Johnssonn, meaning "I like Maureen Johnson,2 of course.
Which we do. I do. They should.
COPIED BOOK! I want to be random :P
Merry beleted Cristmas.
Holy crap I have not played Rollercoaster Tycoon in YEARS. Thank you, Maureen, for giving my back my childhood this Christmas.
MAUREEN, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU FOR THE LET IT SNOW :D
Now that that is out of my system -
Merry christmas! hope your holiday is full of Cheer... and ABBA =D
You know your Christmas is gonna be awesome when you have ABBA playing at your party (as I did).
I loved your blog, made me laugh out loud. Quite a few times. I'm fairly sure my family thinks I'm insane now, but really, who cares? :D
Merry Christmas!!
I'm so bummed I missed the live blog... I would have preferred it to the awkward dinner I had to attend.
No gifts for me this year, but plenty of food. How do you deal with the food situation MJ?
How do I say to the nice lady host, who keeps offering me food and alcoholic coconut beverages,that I've already gained ten pounds since the moment i got here? ... oy...
If I don't see another pork dish it'll be too soon...
after spending a very long 6 hours with my relatives, i have to say, you are made of win, mj.
mj, do you listen to wrock? it is making me very happy at the moment. :D
and where did you find that swedish accent? i need it. badly.
Where oh where did you find the instant Swedish accent spray? I have a good friend who just moved back to Sweden and I think it would make a lovely care package gift.
I believe this post is made up of a mixture of CHEER and Epic Win. It's a tough combination to master, and I believe you deserve some kind of recognition for it.
lol I wonder if the instant swedish accent stuff actually works....
So... let me see if I understand this. Lauren Myracle is afraid of the Thriller dance... John Green is afraid of standing on a table... you are afraid of Jellyfish attacks... and Libba Bray is afraid of dolls. Knowing this information, I can only conclude that to become a brilliant writer you must have an irrational (although evidentally valid) fear. So tell me... are you given this fear once you become a great writer? or are you born with the burden along with your gift?
You are awesome. I just thought I should say that.
I showed this post to my mom and older sister and they thought it was a great spreader of CHEER.
My little sister has something to suggest about Libba's fear of dolls. She thinks you should somehow be in her house when she is asleep(either sneak in or invent some legitimate reason) and rig something up so a doll is hanging above her, staring her right in the face. If possible make it so a flashlight shines from below it's face, making it eerie. Then wait for her to wake up. It would be best if the doll has a very creepy face.
I want Let It Snow. . . A lot. . .
Just wanted to send some cheer your way Maureen ... Merry Christmas!! Hope you had an amazing day :)
I will point out that this post was a week away from being a month since the last and without your amazing advice, I nearly went insane.
You can kill the people in ZooTycoon by,
1. putting as many tigers in cages in a small park.
2. put the admission price to zero.
3. allow millions of people to come in.
4. put those bars across the entrance so no one can come in.
5. release all the tigers. or stick the people in the tiger cages.
*this works well with lions and other biting animals.
My friend has the soundtrack of tigers killing people on her ipod.
I have recently across the awesomest present ever.
For some of my most ecofriendly, outrageous friends I have been making them belts made out of
SODA TABS.
The little thing you use to open a soda can.
I break them off and crochet them together.
My counselor at camp taught me how.
Merry Christmas! May some your days be filled with cheer, and others not, so that you appreciate the cheer when it returns.
First John, now Libba...are you going to be facing your fears on youtube any time soon, Maureen?
I was just re-reading 13 Little Blue Envelopes the other day and I forgot how good it is...I love you!
ALSO,
have you ever seen the TV show My So-Called Life?
I know i am late commenting as it is 1:12 Am the day after christmas but i don't mind if you dont. I would have gotten to this earlier but i worked a double shift at the movie theatre today 1-11 thanks to all the block buster movies opening today i barely had time to breathe let alone serve 5 bajillion people their popcorn and soda and random bits of candy. Any way i came home to this amazing blog and all the hilarious comments and i must say Miss Marueen Johnson you are the highlight and best part about my Christmas this year especially the Vid of you and Libba!! Oh what i wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall around you two.... and people say you cant spend christmas without family and be happy... HA i just proved them wrong. Happy late christmas toots! Cheers!
Merry Belated Christmas from Kuwait! .. via dial up internet on a fax machine. sigh. :D
I suspect I will now use some of the gift certificates I received as presents to purchase Rollercoaster Tycoon, just so I can experiment with how to kill as many patrons as possible.
Hurrah for Maureen blogging again! I, like so many others, missed your particular brand of crazy during your absence. All the best for an awesome 2009!
I should go to the bathroom before reading your posts, much less watch your videos. There should be a warning sign, really. The video with you and Libba was hilarious. That doll store WAS creepy. It was like having a billion little doll eyes stare at you EVERYWHERE YOU WENT. They're like zombies. Only in pretty doll form. Libba was right to fear them cause they will eat your brains in the dark. Haha.
By the way, I watched Mamma Mia last night. I permanently have take a chance stuck in my head. :)
Dear Maureen,
It's my birthday!!! Can I have Let It Snow?
It's NOT my birthday, but may I still have Let It Snow?
Maureen, you're back! I was afraid you'd been abducted or something. :O
But now that you're here, I might as well tell you about my experience with MAMMA MIA! My family and I rented the movie, settled down, and started watching it. Soon enough, the song 'Honey, Honey' came on. Since my little brother was watching, my dad coughed through most of it because it was "inappropriate". And for most of the other songs, my dad SANG ALONG. And he was off-key. It was not pleasant. I'm sure you, as an ABBA enthusiast, would not approve of such disrespect to the genius that is the movie.
Hooray for Libba standing up to her fear! You're a good friend to go with and help her, MJ.
I had an okay Christmas. There's a major snow blizzard (a lot like the one from The Jubilee Express) going on in my neck of the woods and our power went out during the opening of Christmas presents. And we pretty much have to risk our lives to get into town. But other than that, this year's Christmas was good. I hope you had a great one! And I'm glad you blogged again! You're probably my favorite author blogger. Have an awesome day! =)
Dear Ms. MJ,
I hope you had a wonderful holiday season.
Oh my gosh, I need that instant swedish accent.
Hah, I'm glad to see how much cheer is spread by the murdering of innocnet ride-seekers in Rollercoaster Tycoon, though that was not my intent. I'm upset that I missed the Liveblog, but my Christmas was very happy anyway. And after my wonderful Christmas, I find that MJ has finally updated her blog- so I am floating on a cloud of happy Cheer and contentness now. *************
You and Libba Bray should make more videos. They are quite excellent. Dolls are scary though. I used to have a whole shelf of dolls above my head, and then I had a terrible dream about them all and I decided to donate them charity. Shudder.
At any rate, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
I meant to say a shelf of dolls above my BED. Not my head. That sounds like a floating shelf of dolls followed me everywhere. And that would be very scary indeed. Very, very scary...
ahh, rollercoaster tycoon any sociopath's plaything. just kidding. kind of. my friend and I went into the American Girl Doll store today. I came out deeply, deeply disturbed. I went into the bathroom, per your suggestion, and there was the doll rack. frightening!
RAWR. I AM SASQUATCH. HERE ME ROAR.
... do sasquatches roar?
Hope you had a great Christmas Maureen! Thanks for all the cheer
<3
You are too cute for your own good Maureen :)
Happy Holidays!
So, now we know what John's afraid of, and what Libba's afraid of. Any secret fears you've been hiding and would like to share? Maybe your fellow readers can help you in the same way you've helped us! lol.
I hope you had a very very CHEERy Christmas!
I got my holiday cheer card in the mail just moments ago! It's quite festive and definitely has increased my cheer. Except it tells me that Scarlett Fever isn't coming out until 2010. D: That definitely decreases my cheer.
Haha. That most definitely made up for your month of absence,MJ. The only time I've been to the emergency room is when I cut off my pinky.Sad how it's not very emergent isn't it? I was there for three hours in mad pain with my chopped finger in an old kitchen towel and my dad had the tip of my finger on ice in a plastic baggy. People with a fear of blood would've been faster.
My fear is.....hearing noises and thinking someone is in the house. Happens to me frequently. Any suggestions?
I got your holiday card! Thank you. My aunt bought be Let It Snow for Christmas! Needless to say,I was extremely excited.
Great questions...great answers. Happy CHEER!
For Christmas, my cousin recieved a Belly Dancing Exercise Tape. I was then forced to watch said cousin, plus another cousin, said cousin's fiance, my cousin-in-law, and my MOTHER belly dance. My mother is even threatening to buy one for herself! I fear that I have lost my entire family to the evils of belly dancing. What shall I do?
Poor Libba and her fear of dolls. I had an American girl doll standing on my dresser when I was little and I sometimes had to make her face the while I was sleeping. Libba is right, it's the eyes that get you...
Thank you for having such an enjoyable website. Other blogs are usually boring to me, but I consider yours the blog to end all blogs. Unfortunately, though I have been following your blog for a while, I have not yet been able to read any of your books :( I'm sure I'm missing out on a ton.
Quick Question: When do all those "MJ Workshop Cards" get shipped out?
If you think Hannah Montana bras are bad, you should see the Hannah Montana crocs!!!
Thanks for spreading the cheer, MJ. I feel much better now.
MAUREEN I AM SO HAPPY YOU ARE BACK because you singlehandedly rescued me from a fiery pit of evil Christmas movies on TV. I HAD to watch them, Maureen, because usually I sit and watch your crazy funny videos and read your equally funny blogs. But nooooo, you weren't there, now were you?? Anway, I went out and bought Let It Snow and it was soooooo good I loved it!!Oh, and I have a question...If a hairstylist cuts your hair too short, what should you do???? please, please help me! love love love love,
Lolo
I am a random commenter. :)
Just kidding. Happy holidays, Maureen! You are all sorts of awesome and cheer!
I hope you had a happy christmas, Maureen!
I would looooove to win "let it snow", because I live in Norway and I can`t buy your books here...
I did make my local library buy "suite scarlett" and "develish", though...
MJ, I gave Let It Snow to my sister for Christmas and she pretty much refused to talk to the rest of us for the next couple days because she was so engrossed in it. Also, she was upset when I told her about the habit you and John Green have of scratching out each others names on the title page..
I also got the signed cheer you sent me, thank you so much! I'm giving one as a gift and I know it will be a big hit! Thanks!!
Oh, Maureen you supply the best cheer! I got "Let it Snow" for Christmas, and it is soo filled with cheer- my heart bubbles with christmas/snowy joy (even though I haven't gotten any snow yet, and the temperature yesterday was 65! :(( ) and it's also the *funniest* book I've possibly ever read so far! Because usually it takes a lot to make me laugh by a book, but I was cracking up while reading it! So, thank you, and I'll leave with the German Phrase from my german phrase calendar, for Dec. 31 - the next cheery day, because it's New Years Eve *and* my B-day! "Machst du bitte den Sekt auf?" (Could you please open the sparkling wine?). :DD
Good job curing Libba of her fear! Also enjoyable, her declaration that you 2 should not hide your love despite the fact that you were exiting a bathroom stall that contained a doll hanger :)
If there is anyone on this dear, suffering planet of ours who should be Cheer Mistress of the Universe, she should be you.
Sending as much love and awesome as one possibly can to someone over the internet,
Teresa
wow lots of comments!
hahah at the swedish accent picture...
Hello Cheer Master!
I hope you are doing well and did not overdose on Cheer during the holidays! I got your Cheer card and it did exactly what it was supposed to do! It CHEERED me! I was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (in which I learn that my sister's Disney Couture bracelet was NOT going to be on time for Christmas) when I opened the mailbox and there it was. Your Cheer card. Thank you so much.
I miss your blogging, but I imagine you are spending time with your family and/or ABBA and/or writing Scarlett Fever and all of those take precedence over blogging. Now, don't get me wrong, I'd love a new blog. But tis ok. I can wait.
Whale, I suppose I'd better be off now. Hope you had a cheer-filled holiday and that you have a Happy Happy New Year!
Whoopie, an update! Those were quite the stories. I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but laugh at the train fiasco - I am glad that it all turned out okay though. :)
As always, your answers to those questions are so ingeniously and amusingly put.
And it's just reminded me about the Cheer thing, I think I shall go check my mailbox now?
Happy New Years!
I know I'm a week late, but I just read this and it cracked me up. :-) Your sense of humor is made of win.
What do you do when your mother gets and ABBA cd for christmas and doesn't tell you and it's a week later before you find out and then she WON'T TELL YOU WHERE IT IS? How do you go about finding it to put it on your mp3 player?
Hello there!
I got my Christmas Cheer Card in the mail, 'twas very exciting.
Thank you!!!
Happy New Year MJ!
I hope you have a fine 2009
(I know, not the best, but still I'm proud). :o)
I hope the year's amazing for everyone!
:oP
Kate
UGH! I wish I'd been able to get on a computer on Christmas Eve! Instead I was stuck in a hotel in Orlando for a very un-cheerful Christmas vacation, during which my parents yelled and I got stuck on It's A Small World... twice. Also, in an attempt to make up for the whole thing, my parents bought me a Christmas Present. It was a book. The very same book that I'd brought with me to add some CHEER to my Christmas. That book was Let It Snow.
You keep me sane, Maureen. Thank you.
I received my Holiday Greeting card in the mail today!!! Thanks for sending it to Malaysia all the way from New York! :D What a pleasant surprise after a hectic day in college. :)
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