HOW TO SURVIVE THE ECONOMIC CRISIS
Go away for two weeks and what happens? ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD BREAKS.
Oh, sure it SEEMS bad.
Okay, it IS bad.
I guess I’m going to have to fire some of my staff—the guy who polishes all my doorknobs with gold dust-infused butter, the professional remote control operator, the person who sits on my sofa and gives French braids to all my guests, regardless of whether or not they want them or have enough hair for them . . . These are not the times for such luxuries. I knew it couldn’t last. But there are some really good things about the collapse of the world economy. I thought it would be good to bring them up.
Here’s one big one: in many ways it forces us to do things that we really had to do anyway. Like use less stuff. We have been wrecking the environment with all our buying and buying and buying and throwing stuff away. Reusing, swapping, and repairing will be IN! And that’s excellent!
And let’s talk about fun, because, as the old song goes, “not much money, oh but honey, ain’t we got fun!” There are LOADS of ways to have a good time without spending a cent! Here are just a few!
READING
Reading is super cheap, so that’s kind of excellent for those of us in the writing biz. Now, I know books cost money, but there are a few ways of looking at that problem.
1. Books at the library are free. Also, books are good to swap. So if you buy one book, you can swap around with a group of friends and get like TEN books for the one you swapped around! (Or whatever! I mean, just put in the number of friends you have swapping books!) Or you can do what I did in order to survive grad school—you can sit in the bookstore and read the entire book cover to cover in the coffee bar. (I called this my “Barnes and Noble scholarship plan.”) Reading . . . still the most affordable and awesome pastime.
2. Might I point out, however, that books are still excellent cheap gifts? Mine are especially cheap. Perfect for everyone on your holiday shopping list! And here’s a great tip . . . buy a book, take off the dust jacket, READ it, put the dust jacket back on, and then GIVE it to someone as a gift! They will never know, unless you get mustard on it or something. You have totally gotten both the reading and gifting experience out of it! SMART!
3. Also, if you keep visiting my blog, I tend to give books out. In fact, I have stored up a HUGE PILE of them to give out starting right after Thanksgiving as part of my annual holiday cheertacular. There you go!
AUTHOR APPEARANCES
Author appearances are usually free. We are carted around and deposited in your local bookstore where you can come and stare at us for ZERO DOLLARS and ZERO CENTS. If you want, you can come and see me read and sign and it won’t set you back a nickel! (Of course, if you were truly decent, you would at least braid my hair since I no longer have anyone to do it for me and I never learned how to braid hair. I know. It is shocking but true. I do not know how to braid my own hair.)
Where can you see me? Well, you can TALK to me this Wednesday night on the Readergirls Teen Reads Week chat. It’s at 9pm, Eastern Standard time. Or you can come and see me in person/braid my hair at the huge event I am doing in Pittsburgh with John Green on November 13th. You can read the updated Bulletins page for all the info. My Bulletins page? ALSO FREE!
THE INTERNET
During the first Depression, there was no internet. This is one of the things that will make the New Depression different. You can get tons of free entertainment online! Like my Judge Judy fan fiction!
Did you not know about my Judge Judy fan fiction?
All of my Judge Judy fan fiction is basically the same—Judge Judy listens to a case, schools someone on how to behave, and makes out with the bailiff. It’s a little formulaic, but every time I try to mix it up, people get upset. Like the time I wrote crossover High School Musical/Judge Judy fan fiction.
It was a totally awesome concept. Troy was suing Ryan, and then Sharpay made out with the bailiff . . . and then Troy had a dream sequence where he imagined the basketball court was like an ACTUAL court and Judge Judy sang a song called “From the Bench to the Basket.” It had excellent lyrics, like these:
Listen up, all you students!
I know all about jurisprudence.
And if you want to make out in my court,
gotta learn that kissin’ ain’t no sport.
Gotta learn to weave, gotta learn to duck,
gotta learn how to get down and . . .
I cut it off there and posted that as part one of the story, just to get people on tenterhooks.
It was a really exciting concept, actually—because Judy was going to scream, “Puck!!!!!!” And then this hockey puck would come flying out of nowhere! Really, nowhere, because they were in a courtroom that had turned into a basketball court that had THEN turned into an ice hockey rink! Because, hello, DREAM SEQUENCE! And Troy would have to DUCK from the PUCK, and then it would go into some extended metaphor about his relationship being “on ice.”
I guess I was just pushing it after a while with the whole courtroom-high school musical-romance-basketball-hockey mix. It just confused people. My ratings went down the tubes. Also, people seemed to think I was going somewhere totally different with it. There were complaints.
In the end, all my fans wanted more of the classic Judy gets case/yells/makes out with bailiff I had been giving them. This is the problem with being an artist—once you do something that people like, no one will let you experiment with anything new.
Anyway, I hope you like my Judge Judy fan fiction, because once the New Depression comes, I’m going to be writing a lot of it. Again . . . the cost? ZERO DOLLARS. It would help if you wrote some fan fiction of my stuff so that I had something to read while playing with my limp, loose, unbraided hair.
FIND HUGH JACKMAN
This is a super-fun game that just requires time, energy, and a desire to have some old fashioned fun! And it totally proves that you don’t have to spend major Benjamins on fancy game consoles to have a good time.
The idea behind the game is really simple: you have to find Hugh Jackman. He could be anywhere! Go look for him!
This is a really flexible game, because you can play it alone or in teams. (If you play it alone, it is called “stalking.” In teams, it is called “being a fan.”) There are also all kinds of variations I’ve heard of, like: “Find David Tennant,” “Find John Barrowman,” “Find Alan Rickman,” and “Find Katie Couric.”
The winner is obviously the one who finds Hugh Jackman. The prize? Hugh Jackman! (Or David Tennant! Or John Barrowman! Or Alan Rickman, though I think someone has already played that game . . . )
(By the way this game is totally excellent but a tiny bit illegal, so maybe you should just stick to reading or board games.)
DISCO DANCING
Disco dancing is 100% free! You can covert your room into an AWESOME DISCO in a few easy steps! First, invite all your friends over. Get as dressed up as possible (shiny materials preferred). If you do not have a disco ball, just get a mirror and call it a disco square. Have someone stand by the light switch and flick it a lot. This will be your awesome lighting. If you don’t have any disco music, you can just play it right off Youtube!
Here’s a video to start you off! Here is Abba performing Dancing Queen in 18th century costumes for the wedding of King Gustaf of Sweden!
I hope these few suggestions help take away some of the concerns you may have been having. We are all going to get through this—some of us with unbraided hair, but whatever.
Do YOU have any tips to share? Let’s hear them!
Oh, sure it SEEMS bad.
Okay, it IS bad.
I guess I’m going to have to fire some of my staff—the guy who polishes all my doorknobs with gold dust-infused butter, the professional remote control operator, the person who sits on my sofa and gives French braids to all my guests, regardless of whether or not they want them or have enough hair for them . . . These are not the times for such luxuries. I knew it couldn’t last. But there are some really good things about the collapse of the world economy. I thought it would be good to bring them up.
Here’s one big one: in many ways it forces us to do things that we really had to do anyway. Like use less stuff. We have been wrecking the environment with all our buying and buying and buying and throwing stuff away. Reusing, swapping, and repairing will be IN! And that’s excellent!
And let’s talk about fun, because, as the old song goes, “not much money, oh but honey, ain’t we got fun!” There are LOADS of ways to have a good time without spending a cent! Here are just a few!
READING
Reading is super cheap, so that’s kind of excellent for those of us in the writing biz. Now, I know books cost money, but there are a few ways of looking at that problem.
1. Books at the library are free. Also, books are good to swap. So if you buy one book, you can swap around with a group of friends and get like TEN books for the one you swapped around! (Or whatever! I mean, just put in the number of friends you have swapping books!) Or you can do what I did in order to survive grad school—you can sit in the bookstore and read the entire book cover to cover in the coffee bar. (I called this my “Barnes and Noble scholarship plan.”) Reading . . . still the most affordable and awesome pastime.
2. Might I point out, however, that books are still excellent cheap gifts? Mine are especially cheap. Perfect for everyone on your holiday shopping list! And here’s a great tip . . . buy a book, take off the dust jacket, READ it, put the dust jacket back on, and then GIVE it to someone as a gift! They will never know, unless you get mustard on it or something. You have totally gotten both the reading and gifting experience out of it! SMART!
3. Also, if you keep visiting my blog, I tend to give books out. In fact, I have stored up a HUGE PILE of them to give out starting right after Thanksgiving as part of my annual holiday cheertacular. There you go!
AUTHOR APPEARANCES
Author appearances are usually free. We are carted around and deposited in your local bookstore where you can come and stare at us for ZERO DOLLARS and ZERO CENTS. If you want, you can come and see me read and sign and it won’t set you back a nickel! (Of course, if you were truly decent, you would at least braid my hair since I no longer have anyone to do it for me and I never learned how to braid hair. I know. It is shocking but true. I do not know how to braid my own hair.)
Where can you see me? Well, you can TALK to me this Wednesday night on the Readergirls Teen Reads Week chat. It’s at 9pm, Eastern Standard time. Or you can come and see me in person/braid my hair at the huge event I am doing in Pittsburgh with John Green on November 13th. You can read the updated Bulletins page for all the info. My Bulletins page? ALSO FREE!
THE INTERNET
During the first Depression, there was no internet. This is one of the things that will make the New Depression different. You can get tons of free entertainment online! Like my Judge Judy fan fiction!
Did you not know about my Judge Judy fan fiction?
All of my Judge Judy fan fiction is basically the same—Judge Judy listens to a case, schools someone on how to behave, and makes out with the bailiff. It’s a little formulaic, but every time I try to mix it up, people get upset. Like the time I wrote crossover High School Musical/Judge Judy fan fiction.
It was a totally awesome concept. Troy was suing Ryan, and then Sharpay made out with the bailiff . . . and then Troy had a dream sequence where he imagined the basketball court was like an ACTUAL court and Judge Judy sang a song called “From the Bench to the Basket.” It had excellent lyrics, like these:
Listen up, all you students!
I know all about jurisprudence.
And if you want to make out in my court,
gotta learn that kissin’ ain’t no sport.
Gotta learn to weave, gotta learn to duck,
gotta learn how to get down and . . .
I cut it off there and posted that as part one of the story, just to get people on tenterhooks.
It was a really exciting concept, actually—because Judy was going to scream, “Puck!!!!!!” And then this hockey puck would come flying out of nowhere! Really, nowhere, because they were in a courtroom that had turned into a basketball court that had THEN turned into an ice hockey rink! Because, hello, DREAM SEQUENCE! And Troy would have to DUCK from the PUCK, and then it would go into some extended metaphor about his relationship being “on ice.”
I guess I was just pushing it after a while with the whole courtroom-high school musical-romance-basketball-hockey mix. It just confused people. My ratings went down the tubes. Also, people seemed to think I was going somewhere totally different with it. There were complaints.
In the end, all my fans wanted more of the classic Judy gets case/yells/makes out with bailiff I had been giving them. This is the problem with being an artist—once you do something that people like, no one will let you experiment with anything new.
Anyway, I hope you like my Judge Judy fan fiction, because once the New Depression comes, I’m going to be writing a lot of it. Again . . . the cost? ZERO DOLLARS. It would help if you wrote some fan fiction of my stuff so that I had something to read while playing with my limp, loose, unbraided hair.
FIND HUGH JACKMAN
This is a super-fun game that just requires time, energy, and a desire to have some old fashioned fun! And it totally proves that you don’t have to spend major Benjamins on fancy game consoles to have a good time.
The idea behind the game is really simple: you have to find Hugh Jackman. He could be anywhere! Go look for him!
This is a really flexible game, because you can play it alone or in teams. (If you play it alone, it is called “stalking.” In teams, it is called “being a fan.”) There are also all kinds of variations I’ve heard of, like: “Find David Tennant,” “Find John Barrowman,” “Find Alan Rickman,” and “Find Katie Couric.”
The winner is obviously the one who finds Hugh Jackman. The prize? Hugh Jackman! (Or David Tennant! Or John Barrowman! Or Alan Rickman, though I think someone has already played that game . . . )
(By the way this game is totally excellent but a tiny bit illegal, so maybe you should just stick to reading or board games.)
DISCO DANCING
Disco dancing is 100% free! You can covert your room into an AWESOME DISCO in a few easy steps! First, invite all your friends over. Get as dressed up as possible (shiny materials preferred). If you do not have a disco ball, just get a mirror and call it a disco square. Have someone stand by the light switch and flick it a lot. This will be your awesome lighting. If you don’t have any disco music, you can just play it right off Youtube!
Here’s a video to start you off! Here is Abba performing Dancing Queen in 18th century costumes for the wedding of King Gustaf of Sweden!
I hope these few suggestions help take away some of the concerns you may have been having. We are all going to get through this—some of us with unbraided hair, but whatever.
Do YOU have any tips to share? Let’s hear them!
Labels: contributions to society, economic meltdown, fun, high school musical, hugh jackman
posted by Maureen at
6:19 AM
53 Comments:
The Internet is my friend.
So I was listening to Sweeney Todd movie soundtrack the other day for the first time after seeing the musical and I heard Alan Rickman!!! Have you seen Sweeney Todd?
You forgot "find Gareth-David Lloyd" (Ianto from Torchwood -- you know, that cute guy who looks good in a suit and gets to make out with John Barrowman? ;)), but the fact that you remembered "find David Tennant" and "find John Barrowman" makes up for a lot. :D
I would not be opposed to playing "Find David Tennant".
Disco stars, 18th century costumes, and Swedish royalty all in one video? Maureen, you are so strange and awesome.
Ah, yes, but I am old enough to have listened to ABBA when they were still together. AND I have most of their albums on vinyl! I bet you're jealous.
(FYI, ABBA was not considered disco at the time, but pop. True disco was stuff like KC And The Sunshine Band.)
Imagination is still free. Use it.
Oh, and my copy of Let It Snow arrived yesterday. I finished it last night. Very clever. But, in all honesty, I liked your part the best. (No, I am not just sucking up. I don't do that. I have no tact anyway and say what I think.) I am going to encourage my junior high school girls who are all soaked up in a rather popular romance series with a very unhealthy relationship (emotionally abusive) at its center to try Let It Snow next. Sure, it's a fluffly little romance. But you, my good woman, packed in some great advice about relationships that lots and lots of girls need to read -- while they get over their obsession with the current in-thing romance.
Hmmm.... now I feel like listening to ABBA. Think I'll pull up "I Am The Tiger" on iTunes.
I believe you encouraged us to play "Find Maureen Johnson" in your last post. Also, my mom has a gigantic girlcrush on Judge Judy. She'd quite enjoy your fanfics.
When I'm bored, I sing karaoke (badly) to my favorite musicals (Broadway is love). Also, studying is always a good (although often boring) option. With the economy EXPLODING, paying for college will be more difficult than ever for a lot of families.
You have given me a much needed laugh. :)
OH. today, i found something cheap *and* fun!
HULA HOOPING IN YOUR FRONT YARD WHILE OBNOXIOUSLY BLASTING ABBA.
the only thing you'd have to buy is a dollar store hula hoop or three, and pull up some youchoob, and there we have it! INSTANT ENTERTAINMENT FOR HOURS.
and another thing is finding a bunch of boxes, and trying to build a fort/clubhouse like they did in Out Of The Box. man, did i want one of thise...
Can I play find David Levithan instead? That would be the funnest game ever, especially if I win.
Also, I just read Let it Snow and it was completely made of awesome.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO BRAID YOUR OWN HAIR?!? Just Google it. Google has all the answers. Promise.
Another cheap thing to do: WRITE! Writing is VERY cheap. All you need is a notebook and a pen. Or even just a piece of paper and a nub of pencil lead. Or a sidewalk and some chalk. Or a wall and some blood ("Peeps", anyone? ANYONE?!? Aw, come on...Seriously. "He was so pretty I had to eat him." Morgan wrote it on the wall of her apartment during her crazy phase).
Let It Snow was FANTASTIC. I liked yours and John's stories the best. Lauren Myracle's was okay, but there just wasn't enough FUNNY in hers.
Ooh, "Find David Tennant" is my favourite game! I find my few coins right now are going towards the charity shops and the £2 max I ever pay for books/clothes from the charity shop. Jumble sales are brilliant too, paying £1 for five items of clothing of your choice.
Mostly I've been dredged up with work during these hard economic times, but going to parties is also very purse-friendly, especially if they provide food. One I went to on Friday did, and it was delicious and I ate it, saving myself the need to buy food elsewhere or use up precious food from the fridge. Plus they also provided champagne, which makes a lot of people forget about boredom... I do not know whether this is a good thing, but it certainly made everyone dance more which is ALWAYS a good thing.
certain environmental econ profs suggest using the ol' B&N like a library because the school library doesn't keep uptodate stuff! (this ain't no slacker school either.) It doesn't stop at grad school! but then again, his title kind of sets himself up...
I will definitely be playing "find David Tennant" and "find John Barrowman". Or even "find the entire cast of Doctor Who and Torchwood including the guy who does the Dalek voice".
Also, I would love to see High School Musical/Judge Judy fanfic crossovers. I think they would be epically awesome.
I'm a student at Uni right now in England, so free time for me is pretty much non-existant. However, nanowrimo is only a few short weeks away!! Like one of the earlier commenters said, writing is free! And it uses the imagination! People should start planning their novels now, so that when Nanowrimo rolls around, we will all be prepared! And because nanowrimo is only a month, we'll all be writing so furiously that we won't realize that we have no money!
Ha! My younger brother texted me on Friday to say he'd just run into Hugh Jackman -- he must have been playing 'Find Hugh Jackman' without knowing it. (Apparently they talked about Scrubs.)
. . . I am kind of desperate to read your Judge Judy/HSM fic now. (I can't believe I just typed that sentence.)
MAUREEN! I've actually performed in a Judge Judy musical. No joke!!!! I was the lawyer. ALSO, I gave one of your books to my friend for her birthday two days ago. You must be inside my brain.
I think you should start replying to the spam in your email inbox again. That was really funny, and it would be very entertaining. Plus, it's FREE.
Well, I actually watched the entire video that you posted of ABBA. HEY! That's another way to cheaply entertain yourself! [Don't forget about your electric/cable bill will be totally racked up from aimless hours staring at a glowing screen]Sit in front of the computer for hours on end, YouTube-ing all disko/oldies/other genres of music! There you go, for all musical fanatics out there, YouTube is officially the answer. I liked the "Find Hugh Jackman" idea. :)
*Emilee
I like the "Find David Tennant" game. I love the library.
How do you not know how to braid your hair, it was my favorite hairstyle when I was like 12.
You can also go sit at Barnes and Noble and get free internet for you labtop. And you don't really need cable anymore, because all the shows are online.
You can also have a sister that runs a clothing buisness that does a lot of tie dye. Then you get free tie dye, because sometimes she messes up.
I spent most of yesterday ignoring my desperate pile of undone homework and reading Let it Snow instead. I loved it so much. It got me all in the Christmas spirit in the middle of October, which is a strange feeling.
I liked the find Hugh Jackman idea but as of right now I'd rather find Stuart. Though he might be a little bit harder to find than Hugh since he's fictional. XD
As for other ideas, Nanowrimo starts soon and that should take up a lot of time. Yay!
Okay--talk about unfair...I usually live in Pittsburgh, but am in my girls' college in Virginia. WHHHHYYYYYYYY......
I had this funny little mental image while reading your blog (I do that a lot, I’ll be reading something then my imagination goes wild and I don’t even realise I’ve stopped reading till I notice I’m laughing out loud then I’m all “wtf? I zoned out again didn’t I”… I think I would really enjoy having one of those things they have in TV shows where the screen goes all funny and a little jingly noise is heard announcing the beginning of a day dream or flashback or whatever. But I don’t think those exist in real life, damn!)
But anyway, I pictured being at a huge Nerdfighter gathering and all of the Nerdfighters split up into big teams while you, John and Hank all hid somewhere and we all played “find Hank, John or Maureen”… it was a very fun game (in my mind), like the most epic game of hide and seek ever. My team found Hank in a tree… ?!
He was dressed as a cat, which I think was quite genius really. I mean pretending to be a cat stuck in a tree who would’ve ever expected that? But my team was very crafty and realised that cats don’t wear shoes so those whiskers and ears didn’t fool us!
Meanwhile you and John had teamed up and were actually caught trying to climb on top of these huge bookshelves in a library, you were in the middle of giving him a boost up and were complaining about his shoes been dirty when the librarian caught you giving away your position to the team that was being led by Charlieissocoollike which of course led to you dropping John and running away while shouting “FLEE JOHN, FLEE!”. Sadly John wasn’t fast enough and they caught him. It was quite funny but I noticed I was laughing and snapped back to reality before I found out if you got caught.
Anyway, enough about that… the funnest games to play, as far as I’m concerned is just old skool stuff like tag, hide and seek, chap-door-run (although that one can get you into trouble), 20 questions, “I never…”, two truths and a lie, stop the bus… and they’re all free and are surprisingly fun. And still are fun even though I’m almost 20. OH! And there is window shopping, it sounds dull but if you do it with someone fun it can be hilarious (this one time me and my best friend went to Dundee for the University open day, but we had a lot of time to spare so we just wandered around from shop to shop taking funny pictures on her phone, chasing a pigeon with a white ass trying to take it‘s picture, getting lost in Marks and Spencers and saying “oooh I want that”. It was probably the funnest and funniest day shopping I’ve ever had and the only thing I actually bought was popcorn chicken for lunch out of KFC, a Halloween charm bracelet and lip balm that tasted fruity from Claire’s Accessories (which didn’t cost much at all really))
Shutting up now.
Two fun fun fun games. They sound un-fun, but they are basically made of awesome. Both involve wrestling.
The first is one we play at camp. It's called Jello in Your Pants. It costs a LITTLE bit of money - enough to buy some jello, shaving cream, a plastic shovel, and garbage bags. So you have two teams. Every person pokes holes in their garbage bag and wears it as a pair of sort of waist-less pants. One person from each team goes up, and they have to dance around screaming, "I want Jello! Jello in my pants!" Then the people running the tournament shovel some Jello into their garbage bags. Then they get to wrestle and smear each other with Jello! Then the facilitators declare a winner, who gets shaving cream all over their heads. It is LOTS of fun. And you can also play group version - leaving tubs of Jello lying around then letting everyone loose to grab Jello and attack each other! It is VERY messy but basically the funnest thing ever.
The other option is plain old-fashioned lap tag, which is completely free. Here's how it works. You need a big group with an odd number of people. Everyone but one person partners up. Everyone sits in a circle. One partner sits in the bag with their legs spread out, and the other sits cross legged between their parter's legs. Then the partner-less person calls two front-people from across the circle. They have to try to get across the circle to tag the caller. But their partner has to try to restrain them. Then there's wrestling! The first person to make it to the caller becomes the caller's partner, and their former partner becomes the caller. And if you were called and you lost, you have to switch places with your partner, becoming the restrainer instead of the racer. Jolly good fun, it is.
You can tell I like informal wrestling...
Those are very good ideas. I agree with the Disco dancing. Something else you could do would be go in search of the Doctor and beg him to make you his next companion.
I love you so much. While I was reading this I kept cracking up and I'm glad it was my friend in the room and not my roommate, though I think that she already thinks I'm insane.
As for good disco lighting, I go to a school that has a lot of deaf and hard of hearing students so some of the rooms have door bells that operate a strobe light. It is pretty awesome and you can have instant rave or disco right in your dorm room! Well except for the poor schmuck forced to keep pushing the button.
Hmm I can't think of any other tips right now. Except possibly making really tasty sandwiches out of whatever you can find around. bread+corn pops+raisinettes+honey=delicious.
Anyway... your fanfic pwns bananas. DFTBA
You could do this one thing my friend and I often do. All you need is an old office chair (with wheels) and a slanted street. Sit in the chair at the top of the road, and then ride down.
Don't forget your helmet and elbow pads!
Now I just need to convince my friends to join in a game of "Find David Tennant".
...Unfortunately, there is probably a good chance is in Scotland or England or someplace in that European continent thing, which would involve airfair. Aw.
My favorite free amusements involve making things up! Conspiracy theories! Outlandish rumors! THE NEIGHBORS ARE POD PEOPLE SERIAL KILLER VAMPIRE ROCK STARS! THE CAFETERIA FOOD IS MADE OF PEOPLE! EVERYONE IS A ROBOT! THAT KID OVER THERE IS AN ELF, YES, THE ONE TALKING TO ROBOT VOLDEMORT.
It makes life so much less...boring. Because everyone knows when the universe reverts to Depression Mode, everything turns black and white and gets really sad.
Another free activity I should probably indulge in more: sleep! But not when I have so much Chem homework (free, but not fun at all).
This post was amazing. It is fairly late here, and when I started reading about the economy and then all of a sudden realised that I was in the middle of some amazing Judge Judy fanfiction, I actually pinched myself to see if I had fallen asleep.
As a reward to you for being so amazing, I may try to find enough money to buy Let it Snow, as opposed to doing your grad school trick of camping out in the local bookstore. Either way, I am looking forward to reading it!
Oooo I'm excited for Christmas and this giveaway of books! Free stuff yay!
I finished reading Juiblee express and oh my gosh I loved it! I wanted to marry Stuart at the end. He's fantastic and his mom SO FUNNY. I'm half way through John's story now and loving it. Excited to finish and see how it all ties together.
I think for Halloween I'm going to have an ABBA party. Or maybe on election night I'll have an election ABBA party! I still think Obama and Biden should do a duet of Take a Chance on me...it'd be so perfect. If I was better at editing videos I'd just make one myself...but we can't all win. Le sigh.
*pushes homework off the desk and onto the floor and picks up Let it Snow*
-Holly
Maureen, I have four words for you, in capital letters:
YOU ARE FRICKING AWESOME.
If you ran the world, I'd bet all would be well.
Here's my tip of thrift: a really cheap snack are the croutons at salad bars. Because everything at salad bars is sold by weight, and the croutons weigh, like, nothing, you can get away with paying about a dime for some pretty good munchies. I also like taking freebies. EN MASSE.
Who's Hugh Jackman?
OMG when i read about the "barnes and noble scholarship plan" i laughed SO HARD.
this summer i was staying in hotel for two months, and it just happened to be right next to a barnes and noble. i was BROKE, so whenever i got bored i just hopped over to barnes and noble and read some books! i discovered nick and norah ( :D :D :D :D) this way, annnd i even started reading suite scarlett, but then i had to move to switzerland. which is where i am now. true story.
this is funny and could make the scholarship plan a little difficult..good thing it can't happen in real life hehe: www.xkcd.com/294/
Maureen, you have outdone yourself this time. I am currently bored in my (college--yay laptops) math class, so I was reading your blog...and I had to hide my face in my arms so I didn't burst out laughing in the middle of class and have everyone wonder if I was definitely crazy or just maybe crazy, which they may already be wondering from last week when I forgot to turn my sound off and "Dancing Queen" began playing from the general direction of my laptop.
I've been lurking on your blog for a few weeks now. I heard of you via John Green, but it looks like now I'm going to have to actually read your books ... because it turns out that YOU AND YOUR BLOG ARE MADE FROM 110% NATURAL AWESOME FLAVOR.
I quote your blog on a regular basis. I will be doing that again today.
- Brittany
P.S. John Green (is it impossible for everyone else to call him by only his first or last name too?) will be at a book signing event type thing in Plano TX on Nov 2. More importantly, so will I. If you agree to come as well, I promise we can get together and wear coordinating roller derby outfits - your choice of color. K? Thanks. I knew I could count on you.
Maureen -- I was wondering how you get to be just an author (with no day job) who lives a fabulous life between NYC and London?? Economic crisis aside, don't you have to be JK Rowling to do that? Is it all because of money from your books, or is it also because of speaking visits and stuff like that? I'd really love to know...since my dream in life is to be a full time writer!!! Thank you!!!
Okay. Are you ready? Grab a bazillion or so friends/strangers. Doesn't really matter. Grab some fellow Homo sapiens.
Find a children's playground - preferably on a dry autumn day - with one of those plastic tube slides.
Climb to top of slide.
Instruct those still on the ground below to stand side-by-side in a line, linked to the persons to their left and right simply by touching their pinky fingers. The person on the end of the line closest to the slide should hold their pinky out above where, in just about a minute, you will be sliding by.
You are currently at the top of the slide. Roll around. Rub your head against the slide. Do WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO CREATE THE MOST AMOUNT OF STATIC ELECTRICITY POSSIBLE. Now. Mentally prepare yourself for awesomeness.
People at bottom of slide: prepare for awesomeness.
Now, you, having summoned up all of the static you can muster, will SLIDE DOWN THE SLIDE.
Once arriving at the bottom of the slide, before falling off, tap the hovering pinky of the person waiting at the bottom.
HOPEFULLY, a lightning bolt of static jumps from your pinky to the person in line, travels across their body and to the pinky of the person next to them, and then to the next person and onward through the line.
Once everyone stops jumping up and down with glee and surprise, you go to the end of the line, and the person at the front goes to the top of the slide to let the magic happen again.
REPEAT AS DESIRED.
oh. wow. To that idea right above me involving shocking a large number of people while also sliding down a plastic tube slide in autumn...awesome. i might be a little insane, but that may possibly become my new favorite pasttime once..um, 'all the money in the world breaks.'
when i need something free to do, i go through my house and get many pieces of brightly colored paper. Then, I find a hole puncher. and...i punch holes in the papers. After i have a fairly large pile of little colored dots, i put them in my pocket, go out to some croweded place, and throw them at strangers. Amusement ensues. But dont go to a shopping mall. People there like to kick out innocent tiny-pieces-of-paper-throwers. not that ive tried..
...and if you cant find any colored paper, go outside. Grass and red leaves work too. C:
I found Neil Gaiman. >:-}
I talked about you in my creative writing class today! we were talking about writing styles and stuff. w00t.
I haven't read Let it Snow, but I can't wait until I do!
P.S If you ever need help braiding your hair call me at 1-800-I'll-Braid-Your-Hair
I'd be ok with finding hugh jackman :)
I am almost done with 13 Little Blue Envelopes and I love it!
You just made my day, you mentioned 42nd street, abba, John Barrowman and David Tennant, and slightly mocked high school musical. All in the same blog. Maureen Johnson you may be my hero.
I'm watching the latest B2.0 video. Your accent is amazing.
Were you imitating Sarah Palin in the B2.0 video? If so, it was great. If not, it was also great.
I wish that I could see you you and John in Pittsburgh, too bad I live in Washington. Maybe you could surprise us all and show up in Seattle!
I finished Suite Scarlett the other day and the entire time i was marveling at how similar I am to Scarlett.
And then Paper Towns came out, and I started reading that obsessively until I realized that I'm not just Scarlett, I'm Margo Roth Speiglman in disguise as Scarlett, as I've been known to run away from home(once, and i was in a one mile radius of john green at the time...only a few hundred miles from home)
So now i'm reading Let it Snow so maybe Lauren Myracle can add another personality to the mix.
<3
Of course I can't be sure, but I think that I made our library buy your book. O.O I mean... I did send them an e-mail in which I asked them to at least think about getting one. And now they have The Key to the Golden Firebird.
I don't know what to say, it is too awesome. I live in a tiny town, so it is extremely unlikely that our library would buy books that are not in Finnish, and are not about Harry Potter.
I'll go and borrow the book tomorrow morning. Maybe then I'll actually believe this.
i am going to find alan rickman and david tennant as they both live in england (so will be easier for me to find) and both starred in the harry potter films so can help me in my ultimate quest to find Rupert Grint!
if this fails, i'll go back to the books. ;)
Oh my goodness I saw that video a while ago and absolutely fell in love with both the song and the costumes! You have got to admit, those are the best disco-eighteenth century costumes ever.
In terms of keeping busy during these depressing times, Nanowrimo! It's National Novel Writing Month in November so get cracking! :o)
Katie-lyn
Will you be giving away HOLIDAY CHEER (for some reason, that must be in all caps. Perhaps because whenever I say HOLIDAY CHEER, I yell it, because it's so darn exciting!) cards again this year?
That would be nice.
Cheer is nice.
I love you. Seriously. I can be having the worst day ever (although, today has not been the worst day ever as I got to have lunch with my best friend AND read your blog) but, as I was saying, I could be having the worst day ever and come and read your blog and it makes me laugh, smile, and sometimes pee my pants a little.
But only a little. And usually during a laughing fit.
Ok, you never make me pee my pants but wouldn't that be funny?
No?
Ok, you're right.
YES! People! Use the library! That's what we're here for! We want to be used! That's what we get paid for! Come in and ask for obscure teen fiction from 20 years ago! It will make me unbelievably happy to find it for you!
I'm going to start a new game: Find Maureen Johnson and Braid Her Hair!
Serious love to you Maureen!
Hey Maureen--
I just put a photo of these on YA for Obama, but just in case, I think you should check these out:
http://www.sneakerobsession.com/1848/obama-custom-air-force-one-sneakers/
Their Obama SNEAKERS. They even say "Yes we can!" on them! I mean what more can you ask for?! You can now show Obama pride... ON YOUR FEET.
Oh, and thanks for the seriously awesome tips. Disco dancing now fills my life from night to day.
My friend Emma likes to play "find David Cook." As for me, eh, I like to read. Also, I enjoy braiding my hair. I do it every day, twice a day. I also enjoy rearranging my room and making room in it for stuff I don't have enough money to buy. Oh, and you suggested reading fan fiction...well, what about WRITING fan fiction? That could be extremely entertaining, especially when you write a collaboration with your friends where you pass a spiral notebook abound and everyone just finished each others thoughts...or attempt to make them your own.
[randomfact] today is judge judy's birthday [/random fact]
Where did you go? Come back to us!
=D
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