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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

PARKER POSEY SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL

Hello, friends. I made it. I’m at the desk in the London Office, drinking my tea.

I got two pieces of news while I was in transit. One, Girl At Sea was named one of the 2008 New York Public Library Books for the Teen Age. The second is that Girl At Sea has been named a finalist for the Romance Writers of America RITA award, in the YA category.

So much love for Clio and the gang! And just in time for the new paperback. (Okay, it comes out on May 20th, but close enough. Love is love.)

Naturally, I have to point out that tomorrow is the deadline for anyone applying to become a member of SCARLETT’S ELEVEN . . . the crack team I am assembling to spread the word of Scarlett and to Free Alan Rickman. Like I said before, the applications are coming fast and furious, and it’s going to be quite a task picking just eleven. I’m going to need help.

In the meantime, if you go here, you can get this excellent FREE ALAN RICKMAN button for your site or blog.

So, I want to tell you about this 100% true story of something that happened about two weeks ago. I was writing with some members of the YA gang . . . Scott Westerfeld, Cassie Clare, Robyn Wasserman, and Delia Sherman. We were at one of our favorite haunts (name redacted because our haunt is our sekrit, but it’s a pretty well-populated place south of 14th Street). We were writing away, minding our own business. Scott was talking a little about the awesome ZEPPLIN RIDE he is going to take as research for his new book . . . and these people came in and took the cluster of tables next to us.

Which is totally fine, obviously. These people were a little loud, but it was no big deal. One of the people in the party was sitting diagonally from me, next to Scott. And when I looked up, my brain said, “You know that face.”

I did. I knew who this person was. She was female, very pretty, quite tiny. Very, very familiar . . .

And then my brain found the file. It was Parkey Posey. I was sure of it. I have seen Waiting for Guffman 500 times. I know Parkey Posey.



Parker Posey



But still, my brain was doing this little “Are you sure that’s Parker Posey? Because I’m not going to let you work. I’m going to keep asking you this question.” dance.

Cassie was sitting next to me, but I didn’t want to shout, “HEY IS THAT PARKER POSEY SITTING IN FRONT OF US? BECAUSE IT SURE LOOKS LIKE PARKER POSEY BUT I WANT YOU TO LOOK.”

So e-mailed Cassie. Which is totally ridiculous, I know, since she was six inches from me, but I was trying to be polite and not start shouting Parker Posey’s name . . . because I think Parker Posey is a totally excellent actress. And even if I didn’t . . . everyone deserves to eat his or her sandwich in peace.

Cassie got my e-mail and did this totally slick thing . . . she pretended to get up and check her cell phone over near where Parker Posey had, and she came back and said, “Yep. That’s her. I’m sure of it. She just said her name about ten times into the phone.”

So my brain was content, because it could now label the image “Parker Posey” and move on. But John Green was on IM, and I like to remind John Green that he should be living in New York so I can write with him, so I always send him little New York moments to lure him back.

So I wrote and said, “Hey, guess what? Parker Posey is sitting across from us.”

I was expecting him to say, “Cool! I miss being there. I miss you guys.”

But instead, he COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT and said, “OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO GO OVER THERE AND TELL HER YOU ARE A YA WRITER.”

And I said, “Why? She is eating a sandwich.”

And he said, “BECAUSE SHE IS STARING IN A NEW SHOW IN WHICH SHE PLAYS A YA EDITOR! GO OVER THERE AND TALK TO HER!”

And I said, “I can’t. She is eating a sandwich.”

And then John got really agitated with me and said, “NO YOU REALLY HAVE TO GO OVER AND TALK TO PARKER POSEY AND TELL HER WHAT YOU ARE! TELL HER A BUNCH OF YA WRITERS ARE SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO HER.”

But I am not the kind of person who can interrupt Parker Posey while she is talking to her friends and eating a sandwich. John was very, very disappointed in me.

Meanwhile, Parker Posey got out her phone and made a phone call. She was buying something—flowers or something like that. I know this because the conversation went like this:

PP: HI THIS IS PARKER POSEY. I NEED TO ORDER SOME [WHATEVER]. MY ADDRESS IS BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH . . . .

ME, to John: Parker Posey is totally screaming her address at us.

JOHN, to me: OH MY GOD WHY COULDN’T I BE THERE RIGHT NOW?

PP: GOT THAT? AND MY PHONE NUMBER IS BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH

ME, to John: And her phone number.

JOHN, to me:
%@#^$%^#%$^#%^&%! WRITE IT DOWN! CALL HER! GRAB HER BY THE HEAD!

PP: And my credit card number, which is BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. And the expiration date is BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. And the security code is BLAH, BLAH, BLAH . . .

At which point, Scott lifted one of the Westerfeld eyebrows in a look that clearly said, “Parker Posey, esteemed actress, you should really not be screaming your credit card information in a public place like this.”

Because she really was screaming it. It was impossible NOT to hear Parker Posey’s address and phone number and credit card number. I actually put in headphones to block it out.

On the other end of the IM, I could tell John Green was pacing. He thought I should be flinging myself on Parker Posey, letting her know that I AM A YA AUTHOR. We were all YA authors. She needed to know us.

But I didn’t. And she sat there for about another hour.

Anyway, Parker Posey, who really is playing a YA editor on a new show . . . we were there. And you were there. And we are all a bit worried about someone stealing your identity if you keep this up.

And if you need to do some research, I am right here. You know where I get my sandwiches.



38 Comments:

Blogger Heather said...

yay first!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I watched that show! it was kind of funny. haha. I love John Green! My friend sitting next to me says I'm on drugs and acting crazy! I agree with her on the latter.

shame on that Parker for announcing her credit card information to the world.

12:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

tell John not to worry... Parker's new show has already been pulled off Fox's schedule. (code for "cancelled")

12:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ummm. wow soooo did you get her info it'd be tight if you were to call her and say somethin like stop screaming your info to the world

3:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shut up. I love Parker Posey. And you know her phone number!

I should totally just go to New York and stalk famous people. I would make a good paparazzo.

3:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hehe. I can imagine John pacing and raising puff levels due to that information!

3:57 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Yes, but did she compare anything to sea monkeys? I must know.

I would have done the same exact thing. I would have tried to remain calm and cool, and had my heart attack as privately as possible. And I would have probably e-mailed a friend sitting next to me, and probably even held an IM conversation about it, too. And I would have flat refused to talk to her. She was, after all, eating a sandwich. Plus, I have a mental block against talking to famous people.

I can't believe she let all that info out, though! She should really watch that. Maybe she was putting out fake info to see what would happen? Huh.

4:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha...

7:38 AM  
Blogger balexa said...

WOW!!Now you will be able to tell people that you were there when Parker Posey revealed her credit card information to the world!!!!!

9:37 AM  
Blogger limeywesty said...

It's hard to interrupt people while they're eating sandwiches. Don't worry. You did the right thing. Although, it must be hard knowing her phone number and just... acidentally... calling... it... maybe...

12:38 PM  
Blogger Will said...

I saw that show she was in, The Return of Jezebel James. It was painful especially since I adore Parker Posey. I go around quoting the House of Yes all the time.
There are clips of the show on the jezebel site (no affiliation).
But yeah.

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is so like John! But I bet if he had been there he wouldn't have talked to her either! What is this show she was in?

8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow haha. It's not good to shout out a large amount of personal information. I agree. But it does sound very exciting.

8:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha john green makes me laugh.

i was recently reading ally carters blog and she said that she wishes he would be on dancing with the stars

that made me laugh


read it at
http://allycarter.com/blog.html

its the entriy of march 17,2008

2:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

its so pink(the new layout)

3:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The new site is quite pretty. And pink.

3:33 AM  
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I am lovin' the new site!!

3:40 AM  
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4:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your new layout is hella cool!

5:31 AM  
Blogger Mina said...

I LOVE THE NEW WEBSITE!!!

I first looked at it and I was like "whoa."

Awesome! :D

5:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The new site is infinitely awesome!!

6:04 AM  
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6:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH OH OH. I have a quessssstion.

Is there any possible way that you could get us a picture/drawing of Clio's tattoo?

And the new site is gorgeous, by the way.

8:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is so awesome! I'm giving you the best blog layout award!

9:19 AM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

I LOVE your redesign of the site! :D It is so pretttttttty.

Parker Posey should be more careful. And John Green should come back to New York.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Caroline said...

The new site is wonderaculously amazing.
When are Scarlett's Eleven being announced?

9:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love the new layout and Parker!!!!!!

10:02 PM  
Blogger Jez said...

The new layout looks awesome, Maureen!

12:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:DDDDD

New layout ftw!

I love it.

1:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

MJ, the site is GORGEOUS!!

3:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1st off: love the new website layout! i was like, "did i type it in right?" so, congrats!!

2ndly (if that really is a word):
my friend (who shall remain nameless) has been redingthis book about, well, um, you see, *looks both ways and whispers* zombies. yes, but it's all in the good of everything, as it is a survival guide. except, we don't know if the author is being serious or not. so i have decidd to pass on the title of the book to you for your own input on seriousness or not. (don't feel pressured to rea this right away)

it is called The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead

hope you enjoy it...although, it is a little creepy in some parts.

**Emilee (and unnamed friend)

3:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the new site is amazing!

4:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

THE NEW SITE IS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY COOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!
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I know, I am being totally spazzy, but hey, it's awesome!
Loved the blog post, too.
Off to explore the site. :D

5:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

okey so its not just me that the site is different because 4 a sec i thought I was on the wrong site
karozo

9:11 AM  
Blogger marrije said...

Maureen? Buy that dress, dear - I have it on good authority that you look divine in it. And then we need pictures, of course!

2:52 PM  
Blogger Jessica Johannesen said...

love the redo! Buy the dress! Post pictures!

3:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maureen, I have to say. I could gladly sit here all day at your home page rolling my mouse over contact and seeing the cube spin. It is very hypnotic.

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Justine says you must buy the dress. Or she'll take your brain monkeys away.

8:40 PM  
Blogger dd said...

Omg, that was hi-larious! =)

7:53 AM  

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